Trust Between the Covers
by PinkMoonBeam
Summary: UPDATED When Usagi's husband hires a sexy violinist to test his wife's faithfulness a series of sexy twists and curves reveal seduction, deception, and perhaps a love nobody could've predicted.
1. The Proposition

Hey, here's my new story, Trust Between Covers! I know it's been awhile but now I'm in overdrive! I am in the process of fixing my website which has fallen is disrepair and I should be able to work on this story regularly! Well, I hope you enjoy it!  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any characters of Sailor Moon, but this is an original story line  
  
RATED: R for sexual content and language  
  
Trust Between Covers  
  
Chapter 1  
  
He watched his wife lying on the bed. He could not remember the last time when she was like "this." Or maybe it was just that he had chosen to ignore her when she was like this, but all that he could remember was that it had been awhile. It's not that he was not attracted to his wife, but ever since they had that talk... but he was not going to think about that now, not when she like this. His eyes traveled down past her bright blue eyes, red lips, past her partially exposed chest and down to her thighs, but his train of thought was interuppted as a rather unpleasant idea came to mind. He had wondered many times, but not as desperately as now, if *he* had touched her. Of course, he thought, that all of this had been brought to himself by himself. Ever since during his last business trip, but he would not think about her, not while his wife laid on the bed, ready. But ever since his own infidelity he had wondered about hers. She was a business person as was he, and she was human, so she had the urge for earthly pleasures, but it was his belief that a man's was stronger than a woman's. He could have multiple lovers, but his wife must be chaste. He was a man for goodness' sake and had desires, but his love was for her, the owner of the body that had only been ravaged by his hands, or so he hoped. For ever since that night of sin, he had wondered, needed, to know if his wife, his love, was doing the same, and in his sly, businesslike mind, there was only one way to find out.  
  
**FLASHBACK**  
  
He walked the street on that cool, fateful spring day. He had just gotten back from another business trip, which was more eventful than the last.   
  
"Which man could unlock her," he thought as he walked.   
  
It had to be someone different than himself, not another suit. Usagi was surrounded by businesslike people all day, and he hardly thought they could tempt her, it had to be someone more spirited. He passed a museum.   
  
"Perhaps an artist," he thought, that was a bit of lure.   
  
But then he thought of his golden-haired wife. She might be one of the most open people you could ever meet, but she could become very suscipicious, very fast. He had known her all his life, but after that summer when he went away, something about her demeanor had changed. If an artist tried to seduce her she would probaby think he only wanted to draw her naked.   
  
He then passed the opera house. He smiled. She loved music. Whenever she worked in her office she would always hve a classical CD playing. She also tried, in futilty, to drag him to the opera, but he did not have time for such nonsense. He entered through the heavy oak doors, in hopes of finding an orhestra schedule, so he could investigate who would complete his job decscription, but what he found was much more.   
  
When he opened the door the most beauutiful, yet saddest muic he had ever heard entered his ears. As he walked closer, the first things he noticed were the musicians hands. So slender they deftly danced across the violin, sliding the bow effortlessly across it. His eyes were closed and his ebony black bangs fell across them.   
  
"Excuse me," he said, hoping to catch the man's attention.  
  
The lovely music quickly stopped. The musician raised from the seat to his full height, placing his violin down gently. The next thing he noticed about the dark-haired man, was that he was handsome, but there was also an aura of mystery with him. He was tall and seemed to be muscular, from what was visible under his dress pants and shirt.   
  
"Yes?" he replied and there was a look of annoyance in the coldest blue eyes imaginable.   
  
His heart fell, perhaps this man was a little too dark for his bright sunny wife.   
  
"I was just wondering when the next show was," he answered half-heartedly.   
  
The musician smiled, which lit up his face considerably, showing off a row of perfect white teeth.   
  
"This has to be the man, if she can resist him, she can resist anyone," he thought relieved.   
  
"Actually there's one a few weeks from now, I just enjoy practicing," the dark-haired man replied.   
  
"Are you single?" he asked suddenly.   
  
There was a bit of confusion present, just for a second, in his steel cold eyes.   
  
"It's just that there is a dinner at my company for a man who is getting married, and afterwards there is a bachelor party. I would like you to be the musician for that party, and of course you are invited to the party afterwards. I know some involved men are not comfortable in that situation," he said quickly, extending a card.   
  
A look of relief crossed the musician's face.   
  
"I would love to play my violin, Mr. Black," he said reading the business card, "but I will not be attending the party afterwards, I do not affiliate myself with those things."  
  
"Oh no he has morals, or is just a fag," he thought sadly.  
  
"Of course, but please just call me Ryan," Mr. Black said cheerfully.   
  
"Well the dinner is Thursday at seven, at Madison Hall, just call if there is any problems," Ryan said motioning to the card.   
  
The musician just stared after Ryan's retreating back, before putting the card carefully in his pocket.   
  
**END FLASHBACK**  
  
Ryan sttod over his wife, climbing over the bed on top of her. He opened her mouth with his tongue, will coaxing her legs apart with his hand, he met no resistance. His mind traveled back to the resistance he had received from the man who was going to put all his questions to rest.  
  
**FLASHBACK**   
  
Ryan took out his cell phone quickly. Now he had to have a party thanks to that bullshit lie he had told the violin player, at least he thought of one quickly, hopefully this man did not ask too many questions. He would make up some bullshit excuse and throw the damn thing. He would have not usually bothered, but the man was so perfect, and he just had to know. If he did not, he thought he probably could never sleep with wife again, knowing of her infidelity, along with some other things, but he refused to acknowledge that now, he had more important things to worry about. But if she was a whore, she would be punished and monitored closely, but never divorced. He loved her, but it was not a woman's place to seek pleasure from another man who was not her husband. After setting up the party, he quickly made another call, being a business man he always suspected resistance, and always assumped he would overcome it.  
  
Ryan entered the party, his petite wife draped over his arm. The enchanting music from a violin could already be heard.   
  
"What is that beautiful music?" she asked delighted.  
  
"That, my dear Usagi, is a violinist that I hired just for you," he replied with a smile, her interest only confirming his resolve to make the violinist the man to perform his wicked deed.   
  
"I think I'll talk to him," Usagi said decisively.  
  
Ryan smiled. Being the ruthless business woman that she was, she assumped the earth would stop when she wanted something, and she was usually right.   
  
Ryan watched his wife talking animatedly to the violinist, probably about music. She had always told him that he had about as much culture as a cow, which made this musician even more perfect.   
  
But shortly his wife was distracted by other people. She had the most amazing quality of drawing everyone towards her, which left the dark-haired man alone.   
  
"May I speak to you for a moment?" Ryan said more than asked as he led him out to the balcony.   
  
"I have a confession," Ryan sighed as he took out a cigarette.   
  
He noticed the hint of disapproval on the face of the man next to him as he smelled the smoke.   
  
"This party is a hoax, I only brought you here so I could speak to you," Ryan continued.   
  
"About what," he replied softly.   
  
"There is something that is eating me up inside and I can take it no longer. I need to know if my wife is faithful."  
  
"Well if you have been faithful to her there is no reason why she should not be so to you."  
  
Ryan let out a cynical laugh.   
  
"A man is ruled by his dick. It is not a man's place to be faithful. A man is supposed to care, love, and provide for his wife, which I do. If a man who does all this wants a little action on the side, I think he deserves it," he said.   
  
"What does this have to do with me?" he answered annoyed.   
  
"You have to prove my wife's faithfulness," Ryan said.   
  
"So you want me to seduce her?"  
  
"Usagi is not one for one night stands. You have to befriend her, and then see how easy she'll spread her legs." Ryan explained.  
  
"That is sick and manipulative and I will have no part in it!" he announced outraged.   
  
"It will be well worth your trouble. A mean being a violinist is not exactly lucrative," Ryan said harshly.   
  
"I am a simple man and playing the violin is what I love, I wouldn't seduce her for all the money in the world!"   
  
"I would say you weren't straight and then drop it, but.." Ryan trailed off.  
  
"But what?"  
  
"Oh I think you know what I'm talking about, Endymion Shields," Ryan announced softly  
  
He stiffened at the use of his name. He never told anyone his name because of how odd he thought it was. Anyway the chance never really arouse to tell anyone.   
  
"After that girl, and the poor people who took you out of that hellhole, what a burdern you left them" Ryan said faking concern.   
  
"How do you know!" Endymion said through clenched teeth.   
  
"If you do me this favor, I'll make sure you can repay them. I'll say the money is from you and maybe you could then sleep a little easier at night," Ryan explained calmly, glancing slightly at the dark circles beneath Endymion's eyes.   
  
"I'm leaving for a business trip in three days. I'll be gone for a little over two weeks. You have a month to see Usagi's faithfulness. If she stays true to me then I'll thank you and you can go back to devoting your life to your viloin, but if she isn't, well then at least you get a good fuck," Ryan said with a smile.  
  
"Only if you pay them first," Endymion said softly.   
  
"I'll wire the money tonight," he replied.   
  
"Thank you," Ryan said giving him a pat on the shoulder.  
  
"Now let's get you back to playing that violin, Usagi loves music, it get hers hips moving if you know what I mean!" Ryan said with a laugh.   
  
** END FLASHBACK **  
  
Usagi watched her husband stare intently at her. Sometimes she wondered if Ryan knew about *him*. She let her husband climb on top of her, and as she ran her hands over his smooth back, her thoughts wandered from her husband, and she thought about *him*. She shuddered slightly, and closed her eyes, trying to remember how she had gotten herself into this predicamemnt.   
  
Well that's the end of the first chapter! This story should be long! Well I hope for your comments!  
  
-PinkMoonBeam 


	2. How It All Began

Hi! Here's chapter 2! I'm going to be away the whole month of July, so I thought I'd get this one out now!  
  
RATED: R for sexuality and language  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sailor Moon but the storyline is mine.  
  
Trust Between Covers  
  
Chapter 2  
  
***FLASHBACK***  
  
Ami watched as her boss quickly crammed all her unfinished paper work into her briefcase. She had just put Ryan through on line one and he must want her home. Ami sighed, Usagi did anything for Ryan so easily.   
  
Usagi walked into the crowded dining hall. She didn't even know why she was here, her husband was always throwing some stupid charity function. She wished that he paid as much attention to her as he did his work.. but she would not think about that now, she had to be Mary Sunshine, as always in front of her co-workers and potential clients. Just as she had placed a rather convincing fixed smile upon her face, her expression changed to stunned with a hint of curiousity. There he was, one of the most handsome men she had ever seen. She watched as his long slender fingers controlled the violin and how his long ebony bangs fell over his closed eyes. She felt a warmness growing within her as she watched those hands, wondering if they were as skilled in other departments. She fought back a small moan and forced those dishonorable thoughts out of her mind, but the more she watched, the more mesmerized she became at the music he produced. She was broken from her trance at a comment her husband made, something about how he had done this for her. She had to hold in a cynical laugh. It would be a cold day in hell before he would do something that wasn't eighty percent selfish.   
  
"I think I'll talk to him," she said carelessly making her way towards him.   
  
She watched with a smile as he set the violin to the ground, as though it was made of glass.   
  
"You play beautifully."  
  
Her breath caught in her throat as he turned his gaze towards her. He had the most wonderful eyes, even though they were as cold as ice, they were a shocking blue, and the moment he rested them upon her they held a touch of sadness.   
  
"Thank you," he breathed, no longer returning her gaze.   
  
"You know it's wonderful to talk to someone who actually knows something about music, I do believe my husband has about as much culture as a cow," she replied with a laugh.  
  
He returned her comment with a smile that made her heart skip a beat.  
  
Usagi froze, though, as she felt her husband staring intently at her. She breathed a sigh of relief as some co-workers came over to talk to her and she bid farewell to the entertainer.   
  
"I hope to see more of you," he said as he bent down to pick up his violin.   
  
"Excuse me," Usagi managed to choke out as visions of him slipping off her clothes with his slender hands flashed through her mind.  
  
"You know, I would like to see you again, you are fascinating to talk to about music," he added with a quirked eyebrow.   
  
"Well yes, of course," she said hastily before being swept away into the faceless crowd of the cold business world.  
  
Usagi just managed to glance back and notice the violin man being confronted by her husband which gave her a sinking feeling in her stomach. Ryan could be so jealous...   
  
Usagi walked, briefcase in hand, the half mile from her office to Il Cafe Centro that beautiful Friday afternoon. She sat outside, at her favorite table, the only one with a pink umbrella. She exchanged pleasantries with the busboy that was cleaning the table beside her, being a regular customer, all of the workers knew her.   
  
"May I take your order?"  
  
"A cappucino, french vanilla, extra cream," Usagi said quickly looking up.   
  
"What are you doing here?!" she asked in alarm as she looked up at the tall, handsome man.   
  
"Well playing the violin isn't exactly lucrative, and the people here do not seem to enjoy music as much as those in Italy, so I need to pay the bills somehow."  
  
"It's such a small world, this is my favorite cafe, I come here practically everyday!" Usagi rambled.   
  
"Really?" Endymion tried to feign interest as the paper in his pocket, which listed Usagi's favorite places, Il Cafe Centro being at the top, burned with guilt inside his pocket.   
  
He left her table quickly, much to Usagi's dismay, but came back with two drinks.   
  
"I have my break now, so I hope you won't mind if I spend it here with you?" he asked.   
  
"That's fine," Usagi said with a smile as he sat down. He looked so cute in his waiter uniform, the sleeves to his white dress shirt were rolled up to his elbows and the first two buttons were undone. Also, she thought, he looked amazing in black as she surveyed his bottom half.   
  
"So you enjoy music?" he asked.   
  
"Oh I love it, I try to go to every orchestra I can get tickets to," she replied happily.   
  
"But I must bore you, you traveled all around the world, living such an amazing life, and here I am, just your average business woman who's lived in Tokyo all her life," she continued.   
  
"No, not at all," he replied seriously and Usagi inhaled sharply as she noticed all the truth that his eyes held before her.   
  
"Well," she continued, "I've known my husband all of my life, we lived on the same block as kids, and then we went to business school together, but since he is three years older than me he started a firm first and then I got a job there. So now I own the firm, well actually Ryan's above me, but that's all."  
  
Endymion stared, trying to hide his amazement. It seemed that this woman had not lived a day in her life.   
  
"But enough about me, what about you?" she asked in genuine interest.   
  
"There's really nothing much to tell, been playing the violin all of my life and I get around a lot, you know looking for work. I enjoy it," he explained. Endymion stole a glance at Usagi's gold wristwatch. "Well my break is over in five minutes, but I was wondering since you enjoy music, and you're so interesting to talk to, I mean most of the musicians I talk to, they just read the notes, not the music itself..."  
  
Usagi smiled at his rambling, he had so much passion it seemed that he did not know what to do with it.   
  
"Yes?" Usagi asked.   
  
"Well I have two tickets to an opera tonight, you know I like to go to ones around the area and check out the competition, so I was wondering if you would like to go, you know, with me?" he finished weakly.   
  
"I don't even know your name," Usagi replied carefully.   
  
"Endymion Shields," he answered quickly extending his hand.   
  
"That's an odd name," she laughed, "what were your parents doing when they thought of that one!"  
  
"I don't know, I've never had a chance to ask them," he replied so coldly that Usagi felt like she had plunged into a bucket of icy water.   
  
"Oh I am so sorry, you know I don't really have much tact, god, am I rude..." Usagi rambled on.   
  
"It's okay," but his voice did not have some of the same warmth it had once possessed towards her.   
  
"I'm married," Usagi said bluntly.   
  
"I know, ever since I met you that's all you've talked about. Besides, how do you know that I'm even attracted to you, you're being a tad self-absorbed. I just enjoy your companionship, you know, since I don't really know anyone here. Besides I thought I might be doing you a favor, since you revealed your like of music," he replied.   
  
Usagi stared at him dumbfounded and had no other option but to accept.   
  
"I'll pick you up at seven," he said before turning and walking back into the restaurant.   
  
No one has ever made her change her stubborness, except for... but he had known her forever, while this man, whom she just met had controlled her in an instant. She wouldn't deny that it bothered her but it also intrigued greatly.  
  
Usagi hurried around her office, trying to finish her paperwork.   
  
"Leaving early Usagi, that's unlike you," Ami, Usagi's secreatary and close friend observed.   
  
"If you must know, I'm going out tonight, it's Friday night. For all of my career I stayed home and did work, I think I deserve some fun," retorted Usagi who sounded as if she was trying to convince herself instead of Ami.   
  
Her friend just nodded in agreement.   
  
"Well I just hope Ryan doesn't get too jealous, you know those people across the street from you never mind their own business," Ami said nonchalantly as she tured her attention back to her computer screen. "How do you even know it's a man?" Usagi asked ruffled.   
  
"Well your only girlfriends are me and Rei, and I would become frightfully upset if you excluded me from some redezvous," she replied with a smile.   
  
"Well I'll see you and Rei tomorrow for our regular coffee date," Usagi said grabbing her keys.   
  
"But you still have time before you have to leave," Ami said, clearly upset that their conversation was ending so soon.   
  
"I got to make a quick stop before I go home."  
  
"How could I be such an idiot," Usagi screamed at herself angrily.   
  
"First I'm a moron for getting myself in this situation in the first place, I'm married, oh what if the neighbors see, they would want nothing more than to have some shit on me," she thought as she slammed on her breaks in front of Il Cafe Centro.   
  
Usagi glanced around the front quickly and then hurried inside, past the screaming hostess, into the kitchens.   
  
"Please still be here, please still be here," she silently pleaded as she rushed into the kitchens.   
  
Her heart gave a jump of relief as she saw him, trying to balance some plates upon his serving tray. "Endymion!" she cried out.   
  
He looked around confused but his face broke out into a gorgeous smile as his eyes rested upon her.   
  
"Couldn't wait, eh," he said with a laugh.   
  
"Ha, ha," she bit sarcastically, dampening Endymion's smile.   
  
"I just wanted you to pick me up at the office," she explained helping him with the full plates.   
  
Her heart got suddenly heavy as she noticed that his hands were become calloused only after a few days of work. She looked at her own smooth hands, which had never been forced to do any kind of manual labor. And she became ashamed. She was ashamed of the fact that her hands, which were only good for writing checks or filling out paperwork, were immaculate and Endymion's, which could produce the most beautiful music she would ever hear, were damaged. But she did not have time to brood over this since Endymion spoke.   
  
"Why the sudden change of plans? Do you plan to go the way you are now?" he asked surveying her outfit. "Why not, why should I have to please you?" she said angrily.   
  
"A bit defensive today aren't we?" he said.   
  
"Hmp. And no I'm not planning to go like this smartass," she retorted angrily.   
  
"Good," he said as he heaved the tray upward, giving Usagi a good view of his well toned arm.   
  
"You still haven't answered my question, why should I pick you up at your office?" Endymion prodded.   
  
"Because I'm expecting an extremely important fax that will be coming to my office a little before seven," she explained as though Endymion could not possibly understand the business world.  
  
"Fine," he said simply as he walked away with the tray.   
  
"You know, if you were too embarassed to be seen with the lowly violinist in front of your snobby friends you should have just said so. I would have thought you were less shallow than I do now," he finished before walking back into the sunlight.   
  
"No, that's not it all," she whispered softly as she watched his retreating back, shocked that he could decipher her lie so easily.   
  
Endymion drove back from work in a fury.   
  
"I'm such a moron!" he scolded himself.   
  
How was he supposed to make Usagi want him if he made comments like the one back in the restaurant. Even though there was a growing hatred in him for Ryan, since what he was making him do was unethical and also it was screwing up his entire life. He was used to being alone, doing what he pleased, and now he was stuck pratically baby-sitting a complete stuck-up suit that kept providing him with an annoying hard-on. It was just her hair, her eyes, and when she smiled. He groaned in protest to his own thoughts and diverted his attention back to the road. He wasn't doing this for Usagi or Ryan, he was doing it for them, those who he owed a debt to, because maybe if they could forgive him, he could finally forgive himself. Then he could forget about *her*. She who enraptured his life and then left, leaving behind only a single red rose.   
  
Usagi quickly pretended to be reading a fax intently when Endymion walked into her office.   
  
"Be polite, be charming, be do-able," he reminded himself constantly as he gave her a sexy smile. For he knew businessmen and if he did not sleep with Ryan's wife than he was positive that they would never see a penny of that money. The irony still astounded him, he would be punished for not cheating with a suit's wife.  
  
To Usagi's great relief he did not make a comment about the fax.   
  
She slipped daintily into his black SUV, being careful of her long black skirt.  
  
"I know it might not be your Bentley's or Mercedes, but I hope you don't mind," Endymion said starting the engine.   
  
"It's perfectly fine, besides I've heard that men who need fast racy cars are making up in other departments," she said, throwing him a glance.   
  
"I noticed that your husband drives a pretty spiffy convertible, is his number one fan lodging a complaint!" he replied with overdramatic shock.   
  
"No comment," she said with a secretive smile.  
  
Usagi watched Endymion amazed. He talked about sex so easily.   
  
"Well that might be because he's so sexy," she reminded herself. But Ryan, he always discouraged that, but now she was speaking to Endymion freely about it, as if she was telling what she had eaten for lunch. But then a rather unpleasant thought hit her. She wondered if he engaged in sex as easily as he talked about. The thought gave her a rather uncomfortable feeling which felt suspiciously like jealousy.   
  
"Oh, so he's not perfect. Well maybe he makes up for it other areas. I'm sure his unattached muscle is well trained," he said giving her a slight wink.   
  
He noticed that Usagi became uncomfortable at this comment. In an effort to break the awkward silence he increased the volume of the radio.   
  
"Wait, this music isn't classical," Usagi noted in amazement which was much to Endymion's relief for it changed the topic.   
  
"Well, you know that's not all I'm about. I enjoy other genres, but I think rock is my favorite. Like classical music it seems to be an outlet for frustration," he explained.   
  
"Ugh, that's what I need," Usagi said leaning back into her seat.   
  
"You know what's really helpful to relieve stress?" he asked.   
  
"No, please enlighten me," she replied annoyed.   
  
"Try laughing once in awhile," he said seriously.   
  
For the rest of the ride Endymion made her laugh, and for the first time since Usagi had met Endymion she was not thinking of Ryan.   
  
Usagi managed to steal a few glances at Endymion during the show, when she was not carried away by the music. She loved how his eyes and facial muscles reacted to the music, as though it was a part of himself. Whenever she had managed to drag Ryan with her it was all he was able to do to stay awake.  
  
"That one violin solo was horrendous!" Endymion said outraged.  
  
"Endymion it wasn't that bad," she replied soothingly.   
  
"Here listen," he said as he went backstage and picked up a violin.  
  
"Endymion, I don't think we're supposed to be back here," Usagi said nervously.   
  
But he just ignored her.   
  
"Mind you, it's not my violin, so it might not sound as good," he replied.   
  
"Just play," she said impatiently.   
  
The moment he drew the bow across the strings it seemed as though he had both of them in a trance. Usagi watched as he closed his eyes, and the way the anger in his face just washed away as the music washed upon her. But when he had finished, it was too soon, and it left Usagi aching for more.   
  
"How the hell did you learn to play like that?" Usagi asked amazed as they were speeding back down the highway.   
  
"Like I told you, I was playing since I was very young."  
  
Endymion glanced at the clock on his radio and pulled over.   
  
"What are you doing?" she asked confused.   
  
"Let's do something impulsive, it seems like you've really done everything by the book all of your life," he said.   
  
"You're not making any sense," Usagi retorted annoyed.   
  
"Exactly," he replied with a smile.   
  
Usagi gave him a questioning look.   
  
"I get the impression that on Friday night you probably do paperwork."  
  
Usagi's blush was his answer.   
  
"Well let's make a night of it. Let's go dancing!" he said excitement crossing his face.   
  
"But I don't know how to ballroom dance!" Usagi said exasperated.   
  
"No, I mean like at a club," he explained patiently. "We can't do that!" she replied appalled.   
  
"Why not? It's only ten o'clock and we are relatively young," he said with a smile.   
  
"Well we're not even in the right clothes!" she sighed.   
  
Endymion dug into his pocket and pulled out two fifties. Here, your house is too farawy, but my place is real close to a club around here. I'll buy you an outfit, you know, like as a gift for fitting me in your busy schedule. filled with faxes," he added the last two words slyly.  
  
"I can't," she said looking at the two hard-earned, wrinkled bills.   
  
"I'm not a charity case I can manage," he said icily as he read her expression.   
  
"Of course," she replied with no other choice but to take the money.   
  
"Wait this isn't in excahange for anything," Usagi asked suddenly, a blush creeping into her cheeks.   
  
"I might not have as much confidence in my looks, as you obviously do, since you think my only motive is to get into your pants, but as shocking as it might be I do not have to pay woman for sex," he said as cars rushed past them.  
  
"How do you know that's what I was implying, now who's being conceited!" she said smugly.  
  
"You know damn well that's what you were implying," he said sharply.   
  
"Do you think that it's wise I go "clubbin'" with you. I mean I am married, it could be such a scandal!" Usagi said, trying desperately for any excuse in which she would not have to go somewhere where her self-control would be tested by this brutally handsome man.   
  
"There you go again! Unlike some people I am not ruled my penis! I just enjoy dancing and I haven't been in a very long time. Excuse me if I do not want to go with a man, can I ever suggest anything to do as just friends without you assuming I have an alternative motive!" he shouted.   
  
"Oh fuck me!" Usagi replied, letting her temper get the better of her.   
  
When she looked over waiting for reply, she saw the lustful glint that was in his eyes.  
  
"See this is exactly what I mean!" she pointed out.  
  
"Just kidding," Endymion said breaking into a laugh.  
  
"Believe me, I would never mess with a married woman I have some morals!"   
  
"Oh just shut up and start the car back up! We've got to hurry if we want to go dancing, I would like to be home at a semi reasonable hour," Usagi waved her hand impatiently.   
  
"It's amazing, she is capable of having some fun," he said as he reved up the engine and sped back into a lane.   
  
Usagi watched as the cool night air whipped through his hair which was the same color as the cold night sky, and she felt happier than she had for a long time. And for the first time she didn't care or ask herself why.   
  
  
  
Usagi followed Endymion into his apartment, a bag slung over her shoulder.   
  
"Here you can go change in there," he said motioning towards the bedroom.   
  
"It's perfectly proper, I assure you, I plan to wait right out here until you finish," he explained, noticing the questioning look she gave him.   
  
Usagi went in and changed quickly, glancing around the room. It was spacious and neat, but after seeing the rest of the place it was highly impersonal.   
  
She opened the door and slipped back in the living room in which he was sitting.   
  
Endymion walked through the door she held opened for him and Usagi shuddered at the warmth she felt as Endymion's body brushed against hers.  
  
Usagi walked around the apartment. It was a good size and Usagi noticed that Endymion had very good taste, even if it was a little cold. Usagi came to a closed door and she opened it just a little. She was just about to slam it shut because in her unfamiliarity of the apartment she had found herself back in the bedroom, but the sight before her held her transfixed. She watched his well sculptured upper body as he slipped a shirt over his head, then her eyes traveled downward. She blushed bright red as she noticed what she had done to Endymion, and even though she would not admit it at the time, part of her wanted to fix it. But as she noticed that he was almost done changing she closed the door quietly behind her. She was about to sit back down on the couch, but then she realized a little room which she had yet to explore. She walked quietly over and gasped at the small circular room. There were music notes painted over the beige walls and right in the center, on a lovely stand was the most beautiful violin she had ever seen. With trembling fingers she reached out and touched the smooth mahagony surface and lifted it off its stand. She was about to raise it to her chin when a sharp voice behind her made her jump.   
  
"What the hell are you doing," Endymion said in disgust as he rushed over to Usagi and grabbed the violin out of her hands, placing it gently back on the stand.   
  
"I'm sorry," Usagi stuttered, noticing the predicament she was in. Here she was, in a man's apartment that she barely knew, about to go to some nightclub and with a 15 carot wedding ring on to boot.  
  
"I.. I have to go," Usagi said shakily.   
  
Endymion, noticing that he was failing at his task, rushed over to her.   
  
"I'm so sorry, Usagi, please forgive me," he said desperately rushing after her.   
  
Then, much to his dismay, she started to cry. Endymion bit his lower lip. For some odd reason he felt greatly pained at this. On instict he wrapped his strong arms around her and brought her to his couch.   
  
Usagi struggled slighty but gave in listening to his soothing voice and burying her head into his shirt which smelled wonderfully like cinnamon and roses.   
  
"It's just that's the only thing my mother left and that's all I have to remember her by. It's almost like my only true friend, it's been with me through everything, unlike some other people," he finished softly and with a finality that warned Usagi not to ask any questions.   
  
"I'll take you home now if you want," he said half-heartedly.   
  
Usagi looked at his sad profile for a moment.   
  
"No, you're going to have more friends than just a damn violin," she said emphatically getting up from the couch.   
  
Endymion followed her out the door with a smile.   
  
"I'm exhausted!" Usagi explained breathlesssly as she sat down at the bar, Endymion taking the seat next to her.   
  
"You know I haven't done this since my first year of college! Who would've guessed a violinist would have so much rhythm," she continued throwing him a smile.   
  
"Hey, I've been a lot of places, I'm bound to have picked something up," he said returning her smile.   
  
"I'll take a lemon bacardi, what do you want?" she asked Endymion as the bartender came over to take their order.   
  
"I'm fine," he replied quickly.   
  
"Why don't you want anything to drink?" Usagi asked suspiciously after the bartender had left.   
  
"I am the one that has to take you home," he said leaning his arms against the counter.   
  
"I think you can have one drink," she prodded.   
  
"No!" he said so sharply that it stunned her in silence.   
  
"Besides, I don't like the taste of it, it's too bitter," he said softly.   
  
After Usagi received her drink she reached into her purse, pulling out a cigarette.   
  
"My, you do have a lot of vices," he commented, motioning to her drink and cigarette.   
  
"Or maybe you're a little to clean," she replied cooly, taking a puff.  
  
"You wouldn't understand," he said softly looking away.   
  
Usagi was about to ask exactly what he meant by this but his next comment took her off guard.   
  
"And who's gonna wanna kiss you after you've been puffing on that thing," he said with a smile.   
  
"Are you saying that you want to kiss me?" she asked slyly.   
  
"There you go with that I'm-so-sexy-everybody-wants-me shit. Besides I wouldn't want to anyway, your breath must be awful after your drink and smoke," he replied matter-of-factly.   
  
"Well let's find out," she said quietly.   
  
"What about you're whole tirade about being marr-," but he was cut off as Usagi leaned over and kissed him.  
  
Usagi moaned as Endymion slipped his tongue into her mouth. She had never been kissed so erotically, he used his tongue with such passion.   
  
"What's wrong?" he asked concerned seeing her stunned face.   
  
"Well that was such a different experience for me, Ryan kisses very much by the book," she explained carefully.   
  
"We better leave, you feel guilty," Endymion said getting up.  
  
"How the hell do you know if I feel guilty or not?" she demanded outraged.   
  
"I don't know, maybe because you mentioned your husband right after it," he replied, his voice rising.   
  
Usagi followed him back to the black SUV and he took her back to her house in silence.   
  
"Really you don't have to walk me to my door," she said getting out. But before she could exit he grabbed her wrist.   
  
"I hope we can still be friends. That kiss, that didn't mean anything, alcohol can make you do some stupid shit that you'll regret," he said still holding on to her wrist.   
  
"Friends? Yeah, I think I'd like that,' she replied softly.  
  
"See you around?" he asked hopefully.   
  
"Yeah," she said giving him a breathtaking smile before she walked the winding sidewalk towards her large house.   
  
But something was plaguing her. If she wanted to be just friends with Endymion why did she suddenly feel so lonely. But she didn't have time to think of this for her wedding ring caught the light of her front porch, glittering forebodingly.   
  
Usagi slipped under her silk bed sheets and turned off the light. But she could not think. Her mind kept wandering, no matter how hard she had tried to prevent it, to Endymion's eyes, his smile. Then, her hand slipped between her legs and she did not think she could have controlled it if she tried. Her mind focused on his breathtaking smile while they were driving in his car, to the steadiness of his heartbeat when she had leaned against him on the couch, and his wonderful scent. Finally she thought of his muscular body and the large bulge in his boxers until... Usagi let out a strangled moan as she arched upward and then fell back upon the bed, her heart racing and her breath coming in short, low gasps. She lay there, amazed at what she had just done. She had fantazied about another man, in her husband's bed. Besides, she couldn't remember the last time she had pleasured herself. She thought back and recollected the first time her and Ryan had made love. Still feeling unsatisfied she had taken the situation into her hands, but her body had grown accomstumed to feeling no release, almost as much as her emotions. Usagi got out of bed and went into the bathroom. She reached for the cordless telephone as she slid into the warmth bath.  
  
"Ryan?" Usagi said into the receiver.   
  
"Usagi?" said the surprised voice at the other end as he lifted the red-haired woman's head away from in between his thighs.   
  
"I just wanted to see about your flight," Usagi said calmly, trying to push herself back into the real world, away from the tempting thoughts of Endymion.   
  
"It was fine, what did you do tonight?" he asked.  
  
"I stayed home and did paperwork as always," she lied.  
  
"There's my good girl. Well I'll call you later this week. Bye."  
  
"Bye," Usagi responded softly but her only answer was dead air.   
  
She lifted herself out of the bathtub and covered her nudity in a terry cloth robe. She walked out unto the deck and enjoyed the cool breeze upon her face. She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep, at least without her music, but she had left her classcal CDs in the office, unless...  
  
Usagi reached for the phone again and quickly dialed another number. She knew it was wrong, she should have no contact with this man, especially not at two in the morning, but human nature can be funny sometimes.   
  
It rang a few times then a hoarse voice answered.   
  
"Hello, Endymion, I didn't wake you did I?" Usagi said hurriedly.  
  
"Usagi? No, I'm not a heavy sleeper. What's wrong? How did you know my number?" he asked concerened.  
  
"I'm fine. I looked it up in Ryan's rolex, I thought he might have it since you played at that party. It's just that I can't sleep and since I don't have my CD," she trailed off.   
  
"Hold on," he said and Usagi waited, breathing softly.   
  
Then she heard the saddest, yet most beautiful melody coming from the receiver. Usagi put the phone by her pillow. Her last thoughts before drifting off to sleep were of Endymion's hands as they skillfully pulled the bow across the strings.   
  
Usagi woke up with a start. She looked over at her digital clock. It was already ten! She quickly started dressing, she was supposed to be at the Cafe in fifteen minutes to meet Ami and Rei. She stopped in the middle of doing her hair as she heard lovely, sunny music coming from the phone.   
  
"Endymion? Were you playing all night?" she asked surprised.  
  
"Nah, I just fell asleep by the phone and never turned it off. I thought you might like some music to get your day started," he replied cheerfully.   
  
"Thanks, but I gotta go," she said picking up the phone.   
  
"Maybe I'll see you around?" he asked hopefully.   
  
"Maybe," she said softly, turning off the phone.  
  
Usagi reached for her purse, but as a second thought pulled out the cigarettes, just in case she did see Endymion.   
  
"You're late," Rei said disapprovingly.   
  
"Falling back into old habits?" Ami asked with a smile.   
  
"Sorry," Usagi said sheepishly as she lowered herself into a chair.   
  
"So anything new, how was your night out?" Ami asked, with a glint in her eye.   
  
"Usagi went out on a Friday?" Rei asked amazed.   
  
"With a man to boot," Ami revealed scandously.   
  
"Describe," they said at once and Usagi took a deep beath and started from the beginning. She did leave a few things out like the lie about the fax and her sticky fingers, there were somethings she just wanted to keep to herself.  
  
"You kissed him!" Rei shouted.   
  
"He played you the violin, on the phone last night and you went dancing!" Ami added squirming in her seat uncomfortably.   
  
"Usagi you don't know who this man is he could be some homicidal, rapist, maniac," Rei whispered urgently.   
  
"I'll have to agree with Rei on this one. You have no idea who this man is and neither do we. Besides this is not appropriate behavior for a married woman."  
  
"Well you're about to meet him now," Usagi said through a smile as she noticed Endymion walking towards their table.   
  
"May I take your order?" he asked pleasantly.   
  
Ami looked up and started blushing like mad.   
  
"Endym..Endymion Shields?" she managed to choke out. "Oh, you're the nice lady I met during one of my concerts, in France right?" You were the one on the honeymoon," he replied, a smile of recognition on his face.   
  
"You remember! Yes it was me and my husband Greg, you signed that violin for me, I keep it on my mantle," Ami said, her face bright red.   
  
"Oh but you shouldn't be working here, what about your hands?" Ami asked outraged.   
  
"I assure you my hands are perfectly fine," he said with a smile as he jotted down their orders and walked away, but not without giving Usagi a little wink.   
  
"I admit he is quite attractive, but you don't know if he's some kind of.." Rei said after he was out of earshot, but Ami held her hand up in protest. She refused to hear a word spoken against him but did give Usagi a bit of advice.   
  
"Usagi, I met Endymion when I was on my honeymoon, and that was four years ago, so that was when I was twenty-five. Endymion couldn't have been more than eighteen. Usagi you're twenty-seven now and he's only twenty-two, that may not seem like a lot, but it is. Endymion still wants to see the world and he's probably only looking for a good time, I just don't want you to get hurt. Besides YOU'RE MARRIED!" Ami said as though that ring prevented Usagi from even looking at a man that wasn't her husband.   
  
Usagi sat in silence for a few moments. She always figured that Endymion was the same age as her and suddenly she felt old, and that same problem that caused her so much pain kept creeping back to her mind, but she did not have much time to think about it as there was a loud crash right by her table.   
  
Motoki, another waiter and a close friend of Usagi's had crashed into Endymion as he came through the door with their drinks.  
  
"I'm so sorry man," Motoki said as he offered his hand to help his fellow worker.   
  
"Don't worry about," he mumbled as he looked up and his hand fell.   
  
But Motoki was the one to speak first.  
  
"Endy, is that you?" he asked astounded.   
  
"Wow, I haven't seen you since sophomore year of high school when...oh," he trailed off as he saw Endymion look away sharply.   
  
"Well, that's all in the past we have a lot of catching up to do!" Motoki said excitedly heaving Endymion to his feet.  
  
"Seriously, we have to go clubbin', it will be just like old times again, cruising around, picking up chicks, I think you need a brunette this time, didn't have the best of luck with the other ones" Motoki said punching Endymion's arm.   
  
"I don't think so," Endymion said uncertainly.   
  
"Oh come on. You're not still hung up on her are you. I heard she ditched you, without even saying goodbye, she just left that fucking rose, after all that," Motoki said in disgust.   
  
"Or maybe I just don't want to go somewhere, with somebody I thought was my best friend, but ditched me for the first thing that had two legs and a vagina who gave him the time of day," Endymion said coldly.   
  
"I'm sorry," Motoki replied softly.   
  
Endymion stared at the blonde haired man in front of him and sighed.   
  
"I've missed you, the past is the past, right?" Endymion said giving Motoki a hug.   
  
"I'm sorry, I majorly fucked up," Motoki said, looking at the ground.   
  
"Not as bad as me. I'll see you when I get off work okay," Endymion said as went back inside to get new drinks.   
  
Usagi looked around at her friends as they contemplated what they had just heard. Usagi sat there, burning with questions for Motoki. If she was going to be friends with Endymion (just friends, she reminded herself sharply , twisting her wedding ring) she would have to know something about him.  
  
"And I know exactly who can tell me," Usagi said with a smile as she looked slyly at the tall blonde man that was bending over, picking up broken pieces of glass.   
  
"I gotta go guys, I need to pick up some papers," Usagi said gathering up her belongings.  
  
"But Usagi, it's a Saturday!" Ami noted exasperated. "Well you know Usagi, all work and no play," Rei said giving her a glance.  
  
"Except maybe foreplay," Rei hinted maliciously.  
  
"You know very well Ryan..." Usagi started but Rei's sigh interuppted her.   
  
"YOU know damn well I was talking about a certain dark haired violinist," Rei replied sharply.   
  
"We're just friends," she said defensively.  
  
"Let's keep it that way," Rei said raising the drink to her lips.   
  
Usagi ran through the glass doors into the large office building. She knew it would be better judgement to take the stairs, since she had already gotten stuck in the elevator twice this week, even after they had informed her that the problem had be fixed. But she looked at the numerous flights in distaste and hit the button for the elevator.   
  
Endymion glanced down at his cellphone, reading the name on the screen.   
  
"There is a package in my office that I think you will find quite interesting," the voice on the other line said.   
  
"So do want me to go pick it up," Endymion asked.   
  
"That was what I was implying. How are things going?"  
  
"Umm.. fine I think but it's a little to early to tell," Endymion replied.   
  
"Bye," Endymion said but his only response was dead air.   
  
Usagi's stomach lurched as she felt the elevator come to a halt.   
  
"Oh please don't breakdown," Usagi prayed silently.   
  
But to her great relief it was just to let on another passenger. Though her relief was extremely short lived as the person who stepped on was definately someone she did not want to be stuck in a faulty elevator with.   
  
Whew! That's done! The more reviews I get, the faster I write!  
  
~ PinkMoonBeam 


	3. Faulty Elevators and Motives

"This cannot be happening," Usagi thought desperately as Endymion slipped panther-like into the elevator.   
  
"What are you doing here?" she blurted out.   
  
"Well, a hello to you too," he replied with a quirk of his lips.   
  
"I should be asking you that, it is a Saturday for God's sake, why the hell are you working?" he asked casually as he pressed the button for floor 23.   
  
"Unfortunately we can't all spend our days floating around in a dream world, filling it with pretty music. I'm dropping off a very important file, what's your excuse?" Usagi bit back. "That's funny, I'm picking one up," he replied.   
  
"For who?"   
  
"Nosy little creature, aren't we?" Endymion replied silkily, raising an eyebrow.   
  
She let out an annoyed sigh in response.   
  
"If you must know, it's from my accountant, even those who prance around in a dream world as you so eloquently put it, can't elude the IRS," he lied smoothly.   
  
"God damnit," Usagi said angrily, losing her temper.   
  
"What the hell is so wrong with your life that you have to act like nobody can possibly have any problems besides you, you're such an ass!" she shouted.   
  
"Last time I checked, I didn't remember mentioning any of my personal affairs to you or inviting you to take part in them," he replied slowly and dangerously low, as if daring her to reply.   
  
"Ha! Ha!," she started cynically, "you're the one who just moved right into my life, with barely a hello. You've totally disrupted my existence," she continued, her breath coming now in short, quick gasps.   
  
"Well your life must be damn near perfect if meeting someone on a perfectly natural basis fucks it up," Endymion replied, the loss of his patience lending to the slip of his tongue. "You-," she hissed as she was about to start her tirade but the sudden lurch of the elevator as it screeched to a halt made her stop. Well that was the last straw for Usagi as she looked at the infuriatingly handsome man next to her that made her question the entire course of her current existence.   
  
"WHY IS EVERYTHING A TEST?" Usagi half-screamed half-sobbed. Endymion froze and Usagi could see that he was more than slightly taken back. She stared at him for a few moments, taking in quick successions of breaths, her hand leaning against the wall of the elevator for support.   
  
"I- I don't know," Endymion replied in a hoarse whisper. Usagi studied him for a moment.   
  
"Do you believe in God?" she asked softly.   
  
"What?" Endymion answered off guard.   
  
"Do you believe that there is someone looking out for us but at the same time presenting us with choices everyday. Choices that you wish would just go away, so you allow someone else to make them for you?" she repeated. Endymion assumed she was relating the last sentence more to herself than to him but replied anyway.   
  
"I did," he answered shortly.   
  
"You did? As in not anymore?" Usagi asked incredously. Endymion gave a curt nod in reply. "What changed your mind?" she pressed softly.   
  
"I thought you didn't want to get involved in my personal affairs," he replied loftily. "I've never liked tests," Usagi said quietly. Endymion knew he was blowing his chance, knew that the opportunity to be trapped with Usagi in faulty elevator would never again present itself, but he couldn't bring himself to seduce her like this, even if it would solve all his bloody problems.   
  
"I believe in fate, perhaps all musicians do, that's the only thing that keeps them dedicated to such a call, but maybe fate decided to give you a test so you would appreciate what you have, perhaps to draw your attention back to something you've been taking for granted," he hinted. Usagi gave him a lifted eyebrow, wondering how he had hit so close to home, but there was a loud swoosh, as the elevator doors chimed opened at floor 23, she hadn't even noticed that it had fixed itself.   
  
"So, will you still occassionally grace me with you presence, or do I still ruin everything?" Endymion asked as he motioned to leave the elevator.   
  
"I don't know you," she replied lamely.   
  
"Well then maybe you should try to find out," he answered simply, the doors swishing closed behind him.   
  
Endymion drove home at a torrid speed, the manilla envelope that was addressed to him from Ryan tucked safely in the front seat. He parked his SUV with a screech, and raced up the stairs to his apartment. He tore open the envelope, completely ignoring the letter-opener on the table in his frenzied pace to see what the hell Ryan thought was so important that he had to zoom to his office. Endymion clutched the clean white paper tightly, his stormy eyes flitting over the dark-faced type. A single drop of crimson fell to the ground, as Endymion's shaking hands continued to tightly grasp the crisp, white paper.   
  
"I got here as soon as I could," Motoki said, forgetting all formalities as he pushed his way into his former best-friend's apartment.   
  
"She's dead," Endymion informed him dully.   
  
"Who?" Motoki asked urgently.   
  
"My Aunt Jill, did my uncle really hate me that much he couldn't even tell me she died," Endymion continued, his voice cracking.   
  
"It's okay Endy, I'm sure she forgave you," Motoki added reassuringly.   
  
"They hate me, and she hated me right to her grave. They took me in after my parents died and raised me, even though they could barely afford themselves, and god damnit, look- what I did- God," Endymion sobbed, holding his head in his hands.   
  
"How did you find out that she died," Motoki asked softly.   
  
"Since running into you, I started thinking about, you-know, and thought maybe I'd try to go home, make peace," he lied.   
  
"Did you talk to your Uncle?" Motoki asked concerned.   
  
"Yeah right, he'd shoot me on the spot, which is nothing less than I deserve," Endymion sneered.   
  
"C'mon, you gotta stop blaming yourself, if it's anybody's fault, it's Monique's, I keep trying to tell you, and you still keep that god-forsaken rose!" Motoki shouted as he pointed at a wilting rose on Endymion's windowsill.   
  
"She was the only fucking one who didn't point a finger at me after the accident!" Endymion bit back angrily rising to his feet.   
  
"I said I'm sorry man, and I'm trying to be here for you now. Maybe you could do something for me that you can't do for yourself," Motoki replied, losing his patience.   
  
"And what the hell would that be?" Endymion answered annoyed.   
  
"Forgive," Motoki explained.   
  
"You have my sympathies regarding your Aunt's death," he replied cooly as he grabbed his coat and walked out of the desolate apartment.   
  
"You played me!" Endymion screamed with rage into the receiver of his cordless phone as he paced around his apartment.   
  
"Temper, Temper, Endymion," Ryan cautioned from the other end.   
  
"I was doing this 'favor' as you call it so I could afford to pay back my Aunt and Uncle, especially my Aunt. Hell of a lot of good it does now that she's dead," he continued with his tirade.   
  
"My dear Endymion, I'm a business man, and as a business man why would I inform you of your Aunt's passing if I knew it would lessen your enthusiasm for the task in front of you," he asked logically.   
  
"Because you're a sick bastard?" Endymion offered.   
  
"That tongue of yours is going to get you in trouble. Ah, yes, but I think you've already learned that lesson on the stand," Ryan warned.   
  
"How the fuck do you know all this," Endymion asked, a hint of panic creeping into his voice.   
  
"I don't like surprises, and neither do you I assume from the way you reacted to your Aunt's death which was a month ago, bringing us back to my point," Ryan said. "Your little 'accident' left your family in such financial debt that your poor Uncle cannot even afford to bury his wife. He has two days to come up with the money for the funeral, or the morgue will cremate her, and probably just throw away the ashes I would think," Ryan continued, with an undertone of amusement in his voice.   
  
"What do you want from me?!" Endymion choked out.   
  
"I'll pay for your Aunt's funeral, send in a nice little check and say it's from you, but you have to promise me Endymion that the deed will have been done in the time I've allotted you," he explained.   
  
"Why are you doing this. For all you know Usagi could fall in love with me and leave you. You're playing with fire Ryan and your marriage is going to get burnt," Endymion suggested logically.   
  
"Well I'm trusting you not to run away with her, and under the circumstances that seems like a request you'll follow. Also my Usagi is like a small child, once she knows she can't get away with something she won't do it again, but if she is not caught, and punished, she will continue to commit the crime," Ryan explained, beginning to get annoyed.   
  
"Thanks for psychology 101 there, but if you haven't noticed Usagi is a wonderful, pure woman, you must have a hell of a lot of insecurities to think a gal like that is cheating on you," Endymion said.   
  
"Keep your ideals to yourself violinist, and don't comment on things you don't understand. I know what Usagi wants, but I don't know how far she'll go to get it. Also women are as much animals as men, but they can be trained. There's a little bit of advice for you," Ryan said coldly.   
  
"You're a fucking chovinist," Endymion spat.   
  
"And you're a murderer," Ryan replied softly.   
  
Usagi knocked hesistantly on Ami's front door, slightly worried as to what was so important that her and Rei had to come straight over.   
  
"What is it Ami?" Usagi asked concerned when her blue-haired friend answered the door. Ami just ushered her in as a response. Usagi sat next to Rei, who looked as if she had already made herself comfortable.   
  
"Okay Ames, out with it!" Rei demanded.   
  
"I'm pregnant!" Ami cried joyfully, pulling a stick out of her pocket that clearly had a large plus-sign on it.   
  
"Oh my God!" Rei exclaimed as she jumped up to hug her friend.   
  
"That's really, really great Ami," Usagi added softly, her throat tightening.   
  
"Greg's going to be thrilled, I can't wait till he gets home," Ami gushed.   
  
Usagi politely stayed and discussed everything from cute baby outfits to that it was okay to still do some bedroom dancing while pregnant. They talked until the father-to be arrived home.   
  
"Well we'll let you two love-birds be and you can tell him the news yourself," Rei said with a wink and she led Usagi out.   
  
Usagi drove home to her large, empty, husband-less home with slightly blurred vision, wondering what she had done so terribly wrong that caused her not to be blessed with a child.   
  
"Why God, why God?" she whispered over and over, but in her heart she knew she should be asking: "Why Ryan, why?"   
  
Usagi woke up early the next morning, once again alone in the large bed, and feeling particularly frustrated. She took a long, hot shower to release some of the tension; however, her bad mood was irritated further when the phone rang, forcing her to leave her warm haven.   
  
"Hello," she said annoyed, while trying to wrap her long golden hair in a towel.   
  
"That's not a very nice greeting for your husband," came a soft masculine voice.   
  
"Hmp, well maybe I'd give better greetings if you were here in person once and while," she spat in no mood for his little check-up.   
  
"You're uppity today, but then again, you were never much of a morning person," he replied good-naturedly.   
  
"How would you know, you're never here to see me in the morning," she added, her voice laced with hurt.   
  
"Oh baby, you know I'd be there if I could," he said sweetly.   
  
"When will you be home?" she asked.   
  
"About a week hopefully, well I have to go," he replied.   
  
"Bye," Usagi respoded miserably.   
  
"Hey, what do we say?" Ryan cautioned.   
  
"I love you," she added softly.   
  
"There's my girl, now you be good," he finished with a click.   
  
"I'm glad you love me too," Usagi whispered as she stood alone, wrapping the towel tighter around her shivering form.   
  
Usagi knocked swiftly three times on Rei's door. After a few minutes a rather miserable looking Rei answered.   
  
"Yeah?" she asked, clearly annoyed.   
  
"I'm so bored!" Usagi whined.   
  
"Well why don't you go bother Ami?" Rei responded harsly but still opened the door wider to allow her friend access to the apartment.   
  
"She and Greg left today remember? They're visiting Ami's parents and telling them about the good news," Usagi reminded.   
  
"Well, I just got inspired, so I won't be any help," Rei explained, motioning to the computer.   
  
"So you finally got inspiration for a second novel? Your first one was amazing!" Usagi gushed.   
  
"Where did you get an idea from? You got the idea for your first one right after Chad-" but Usagi didn't finish, noticing the pained expression that just crossed the raven-haired woman's face.   
  
"If you must know, I did get inspiration from my love life," Rei hinted.   
  
"Spill," Usagi demanded.   
  
"Well, it's not really a full-blown relationship, actually he doesn't even know I have feelings for him, but that's just it. It's the first time since Chad died that I've had feelings for another man," she confided.   
  
"I'm so happy for you!" Usagi squealed as she clutched her friend in a tight hug.   
  
"Who is it?" she breathed.   
  
"Promise not to laugh?" Rei asked uncertainly.   
  
"Yes, just tell me, please, please, PLEASE!" she pleaded.   
  
"All right, Endymion," Rei said swiftly.   
  
Usagi's jaw pratically hit the floor.   
  
"You promised!" Rei said angrily.   
  
"I'm not laughing, I'm just- well shocked," Usagi chose her words carefully.   
  
"It's just that you didn't seem to keen on him when I mentioned him at the Cafe yesterday," Usagi elaborated.   
  
"I know, but I was trying to get ideas, so I went down to the Cafe and had some coffee while I jotted down ideas and Endymion was my waiter. He seems so romantic, being a violinist and all, and even you have to admit, he's a damn good piece of eye candy," Rei finished sheepishly.   
  
Usagi stared at her hands for a moment. There was a million questions and things to say to Rei racing through her mind, but the one thought that kept popping up was: You're not right for him, he needs someone with a sense of humor, that can make him laugh, someone... like I used to be. Instead she opted for: "Now that you're struck with the love bug and are spending all your time writing, who am I going to hang out with?" Usagi whined.   
  
"God Usagi, you're such a selfish bitch," Rei comented, but by the tone of her voice Usagi could tell she was joking, well almost.   
  
"Hey I've got an idea. Why don't you go talk to Motoki, and then you can try to squeeze some info about Endymion from him," she suggested.   
  
Usagi sighed. It would be good to talk to Motoki, she hadn't really had a heart to heart with him since she started getting serious with Ryan.   
  
"Okay," Usagi conceded.   
  
"Ooh, Usa, you look down. I think this calls for a nice thick, double chocolate milkshake!" Motoki noted as he headed into the kitchens. In a few moments he was seated next to Usagi as she sipped on a rather large milkshake.   
  
"I'm glad you've come to talk to me, it's been a while," he commented.   
  
"Yeah, well you know Ryan," Usagi sighed. Motoki snorted in response, revealing his opinion of her husband.   
  
"He's good to me," Usagi replied defensively.   
  
"It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself, not me," he replied.   
  
Usagi looked away in response.   
  
"Usa, your marriage is none of my business, but I'm not going to sit here and pretend I like the guy, I mean you know what he did to me after he thought you and I were having an affair. That's not something you forgive easily, but all I'm saying is there's something wrong with you and I want to know what the hell it is," Motoki said vehemently.   
  
Usagi continued to gaze into her milkshake.   
  
"Everything," she replied softly.   
  
"Everything is just so fucked up," she choked out.   
  
"I mean I hate my best friend for being pregnant, even though she's been trying since she's been married. Then I hate my other friend for finally liking a guy after she rebuked all men for two years after her fiancee's death, and why should I care, why should I be jealous of them? I'm married for one and can get pregnant anytime I want, why deny a man or a child from the only two friends (Motoki coughed) I have, besides you, in the entire world. Oh my God, I'm such an awful person, I deserve to burn in hell!" Usagi cried, completely broken down.   
  
"God Usagi, it's completely natural for you to be that way. You suffocated and denied yourself things for so long, you're starved for a little attention, you've got to stop blaming yourself for everything! Whatever happened to that happy go-lucky girl who cared more about video games than her homework. I miss her, a lot of people miss her," Motoki finished quietly.   
  
"I don't know, I have to think, I should have never told you this, can we talk about something else?" Usagi asked, a note of pleading in her voice.   
  
Motoki, taking the obvious hint, changed the subject.   
  
"So who's this guy Rei's sweet on? I think it's great she's moving on, she deserves to be happy after all the pain she's been through. Is it anyone I know?" he asked innocently. Usagi almost spit her milkshake back into the glass.   
  
"Um, yeah, sort of," was Usagi's muffled response.   
  
"Alright Usa, out with it, I have to go give the poor bastard a warning, I feel bad for anyone who turns down Rei Hino," Motoki feigned severity.   
  
"Well, you can tell him at work tomorrow. Endymion's the one that's got Rei all hot and bothered," Usagi replied, starting to enjoy herself, as all women do when they get to retell juicy gossip.   
  
"Endymion? He's no good for Rei, in fact I wouldn't recommend him to any girl looking for a serious relationship," he explained slowly.   
  
"Well she thinks he's 'romantic', which I translate into being a whore. I knew he had a few notches on his bedpost," Usagi said bitterly.   
  
"Oh no, Endy is definitely not like that, but he is romantic. I don't think he even has to work here, he just thinks the starving violinist image is 'romantic'. He kinda lives in his little dream world," Motoki said.   
  
"That's what I told him and he got all huffy about it," Usagi related as she swirled her straw around. Motoki let out a short chuckle.   
  
"Well, I've known Endymion since I was five, and he is an enigma if I've ever saw one. Most of the time he's in his little dream world, but since he's gotten older, he's become an extreme realist, but only sometimes. I think that he's spends so much time not really noticing the world going on around him, especially when he plays his violin, but when he does come back to reality, it just hits him all at once, like a fucking train. You must have caught him on one of his down times, he's had a pretty rough life," Motoki explained.   
  
"Poor baby, what happened did he cut himself shaving?" Usagi asked sarcastically.   
  
"Actually his parents died so he was raised by his Aunt and Uncle, and then just a month ago his Aunt died and that's not even half of it," he replied harshly.   
  
"Oh, well what's the other half?" Usagi asked sincerely.   
  
"That's up to Endy to tell you, it's not my place," Motoki replied, finality ringing in his voice.   
  
"You want Rei to be happy, and you want Endymion to be happy, so maybe they're the answer to each other's problems," she suggested.   
  
"I just don't think Rei's his type," he answered cautiously. "Those were my sentiments exactly. But what, does Endymion only go for slutty blondes who can't keep their legs together?" she asked condescendingly.   
  
"I told you, he doesn't like those girls, he's romantic, he believes in falling in love and all that other shit," he said, leaning back in his chair.   
  
"All that other shit? What's made you so bitter?" Usagi commented coldly.   
  
"Your husband," he responded curtly.   
  
Usagi blushed at this and mumbled something that distinctively sounded like sorry before switching the topic.   
  
"Well maybe I'll go find out exactly what kind of man Endymion is myself," she announced.   
  
"I wouldn't do that, the moment Ryan hears of it, Endymion will probably be in a worse boat than me," he said, still not letting go of the former topic.   
  
"Well then, I won't let him find out," Usagi replied annoyed.   
  
"Good luck," he sneered.   
  
"God, you're the only friend I have right now, that I don't hate, even though my reasons for hating them are selfish, I'm entitled to be selfish once in a while. For goodness' sake, I'm a grown woman! Let me choose my own company!" she exclaimed.   
  
"Don't be preaching to me, take your sermon to your husband. All I'm saying is that you don't want another Mina experience," Motoki responded exasperated.   
  
"You just had to bring that up, didn't you?" Usagi demanded, her voice rising.   
  
"I'm sorry Usa, besides Mina was a chick, can you imagine if Ryan finds out you've been hanging out with a man?" he warned.   
  
"You said he was a gentleman," Usagi reminded.   
  
"Yeah, but he's not a fag, and he doesn't really know his own charisma, and he doesn't realize how charming he can be. So you could be halfway through fucking him when you finally realize what you're doing. If Endymion's presented with an opportunity, he's going to take it, like every other man on this earth," he admonished.   
  
"You're pretty discrimatory against your own sex," she noted.   
  
"Yeah, well maybe I'm a realist too," he replied bitterly.   
  
"Just promise, don't go looking for trouble, and don't go looking for Endymion," Motoki commanded.   
  
"Fine," she relented.   
  
"There's my good girl, now I have to get back to work, take care of yourself Usa," he said kindly, giving her a soft kiss on the top of her head.   
  
"'There's my good girl' my ass," Usagi thought harshly as she turned her car around, heading in the direction of Endymion's apartment   
  
"'Lo?" Endymion answered his door groggily. Usagi blushed as she took in his partially nude form, his only clothing a pair of gray sweatpants that hung low on his muscular stomach. "Usagi?" he asked surprised.   
  
"I thought I'd take you up on your offer," she replied softly.   
  
"What time is it?" he asked hoarsely.   
  
"It's only seven o'clock, perfectly proper I assure you," Usagi responded with a laugh.   
  
"Oh, come in, you have to excuse my appearance, I have a bit of insomnia so whenever I feel tired I try to jump on the chance," he explained, stepping back to allow her access to the apartment.   
  
"You look fine to me," Usagi answered, a fresh crimson appearing on her cheeks as she realized how that must have sounded.   
  
"I mean for just waking up, I mean you look fine and proper for company," she fumbled.   
  
He shook his head with a small laugh.   
  
"So why the sudden change of heart?" Endymion asked her casually.   
  
"Well I thought that I was old enough to decide who I wanted to associate with," Usagi replied as she sauntered over to his balcony, opening the doors and welcoming the cool spring evening air.   
  
"Since when were you not old enough to decide your own friends?" he asked, joining her on the balcony.   
  
Usagi leaned against the cold steel of the railing, her gaze focused on the setting sun. "When I first married Ryan, my best friend in the entire world was Mina Aino, we did everything together, she was the sister I never had. Well, she wasn't exactly ideal company in a husband's eye. She was a bit wild, enjoyed to party, preferred the company of men over women, and to top it all off she was an aspiring model. She tried so many agencies but she could never keep a job, only ten day contracts here and there, mostly ending in the agent's bed, but I never held that against her. I always thought she could never keep a contract because she was short like me, but anyway. We had plans to go out for lunch, and she never showed up. Mina was a little flaky, but she would never blow me off without calling first. So I returned home, extremely upset of course, and I told Ryan how stressed I was. He gave me a letter, in Mina's handwriting, and it said that she finally got a modeling contract and couldn't be bothered with Tokyo or any of the hick people that lived there, said that I would just hold her back. She was going to Italy, where they knew fashion. I remeber crying for days, and of course Ryan comforted me. Sick bastard. I later found out from one of his co-workers, that Ryan knew some talent agent, who traveled around the world, mostly Italy, looking for new faces, I think his name was Kunzite something. Anyway, Ryan paid him a shitload of money to offer Mina a contract on the basis that Mina would write me that letter and never contact me again. Mina chose her career over me, but I don't blame her, that was her dream. And I don't know how many times I put her on hold because of something at the office. After that I promised myself that I would never let anyone, especially not Ryan, come between me and my friends. Friendships, good ones, are too hard to find," Usagi finished softly.   
  
"Yeah," he whispered, his mind drifting to Motoki.   
  
"So I guess Ryan wouldn't approve of me?" he asked.   
  
"Only because you have a dick," she replied mordantly.   
  
Endymion watched Usagi closely as the minutes slipped by. They both watched the dying sun in silence until Endymion asked her quietly,   
  
"What did you say the agent's name was, Kunzite?"   
  
"Yeah," she replied slightly confused.   
  
"Was it Kunzite Jacobs?" he pressed.   
  
"Yeah, I think so, why?" she demanded suspiciously.   
  
"He was the one that discovered me, I grew up in Italy, he used to be my best friend, after me and Motoki had our parting of ways," he revealed.   
  
"Used to be your best friend?" Usagi asked with a raised eyebrow.   
  
"He used to be my agent too, but I can get work on my own," he replied airly.   
  
"What happened?" she asked with genuine interest.   
  
"I used to go out with this girl, Monique, she was an aspiring painter. Her work was good, but it had no soul. She could replicate things, perfect, just like a picture. But art is no good if it doesn't have more to it than just face value. She was just like her work, shallow. Anyhow, Kunzite told her he could make her famous, I swear, just so he could bed her. They ran off together," Endymion said, as he quickly returned his gaze to the black sky.   
  
"Your work's not like that. It has so much soul. That song you always play on the violin, the sad melody that's about her, isn't it. I can picture her when you play it. She had dark hair and deep eyes, she's mysterious and handsome, just like you," Usagi commented huskily. "You have a good ear for music, you listen with your spirit," Endymion replied softly.   
  
"And she's the one that gave you that rose," she added, throwing her head in the direction of the coveted flower.   
  
"You have a good ear of music, but not that good," he said with a laugh. Usagi gave him a mysterious smile before returning her attention to the star-filled sky. She let out a long sigh.   
  
"I heard you and Motoki talking," she admitted.   
  
"I knew you were a nosy little creature," he commented with a smile.   
  
They fell into a comfortable silence, both staring into the horizon. Endymion tore his eyes away to gaze at something more beautiful. He felt his breath catch in his throat as he looked at her. She looked lovely in a dark blue blouse that was opened a few buttons to reveal ample cleavage and it was tucked into a black skirt that huggd her curves attractively as her golden locks fell into her flawless face.   
  
"You look stunning," he breathed and Usagi became fully aware how close they actually were to each other.   
  
Usagi stared at him for a few moments which felt like hours, and for the first time she became painfully aware of how she wanted nothing more then for Endymion to just ravage her then and there. She finally acknowledged how good, special, and sexy she felt when she was with him. However, she pushed thoughts of her and Endymion rolling around his bed, their sweat-slick bodies in common rhythm, and instead of telling him her feelings, she shoved him away. "You know, the girls you bring in here probably don't find a rose from an old flame a big turn on. You'd get more if you got rid of it," she said coldly. Endymion gave her a scrutinizing glace before replying,   
  
"You're right."   
  
"What?" she answered slightly surprised.   
  
She was not really expecting him to admit to various love affairs.   
  
"Not about the girls," he waved her comment off with an annoyed flip of his hand,   
  
"I would have more sex if I wasn't so sentimental. It's the curse of the artist. We put the pleasures of the soul in front of those of the body."   
  
"So what you're saying is that you haven't been fucked in a while," she simplified.   
  
A cute blush crossed Endymion's face as he quickly looked away.   
  
"It's not like the opportunites haven't arised. I just want to feel a spiritual connection along with arousal," he mumbled.   
  
"Do you feel that way with me?" she asked bluntly.   
  
"Are you offering?" he replied amused.   
  
"What if I am," she answered with all seriousness.   
  
Endymion was caught off guard by this comment. He weighed his choices carefully. He knew he would have to play his cards right. This was a pivotal point that could decide if he would complete his task or if she would walk away forever.   
  
"I'm not going to lie to you," he explained slowly, "I am attracted to you, who wouldn't be? You're gorgeous. And I do feel that connection, but I think it may just be a friendly kind of thing, do you know what I mean?"   
  
Usagi laughed nervously, refusing to admit to herself the disappointment his answer caused. "Of course, I was just making sure we were on the same page. I think we could have a beautiful relationship together, I really like you, as friends," she replied in an unnaturally high voice.   
  
He just smiled at her, slightly confused.   
  
"Oh my God! It's ten o'clock, I have to get home!" she exclaimed as he glanced at the time on his wristwatch that was glowing faintly in the moonlight.   
  
"I know, what will the neighbors think when you get home at this ungodly hour," he said sarcastically.   
  
"Ha, Ha," she bit back.   
  
"You have to honestly laugh more," he replied seriously.   
  
"I bet the last time you laughed was when you were in my car," he added.   
  
He could tell by her expression that he was correct.   
  
"I know, I'm just so funny," he continued cockily.   
  
"Looking," she snapped.   
  
"Oh, real mature. Well I can sink to your level," Endymion said, a glint in his eye.   
  
"What do you mean," she asked slowly.   
  
Without replying, Endymion wrapped his arms around her and began to tickle her unmercifully. "Stop, Stop," she gasped, as she bit her bottom lip, trying to hold in the laughter.   
  
After a few minutes, he finally let her go.   
  
"Now we'll really give the neighbors something to talk about,' he snickered.   
  
Usagi looked at her reflection and gasped. She looked completely ravaged. Her blonde hair was mussed, her bottom lip was swollen from the pressure of her biting down on it, and her chest was heaving.   
  
"Let them talk," she said proudly, flipping her hair over her shoulder.   
  
"So I take it you're going to befriend the lowly violinist?" he asked mockingly.   
  
"I do belive I already have," she replied with a small smile before walking out of the apartment.   
  
Usagi slipped into the dark, quiet house, the red blinking light of her answering machine catching her attention. She casually pressed the play button.   
  
"You have 32 new messages," came the mechanical voice.   
  
"What the hell..." she whispered.   
  
Before she could listen to the first message, the shrill ring of the phone sliced through the desolate room. She stared at it for moments before picking it up with shaking hands. "Where the hell were you," Ryan's voice screamed at her over the phone.   
  
"It's only 10:30," Usagi replied, her voice shaking.   
  
"Where were you, fucking around you little whore?" he demanded, his words slurred.   
  
"I was out shopping, I thought if I couldn't have a relationship with you, I might as well have one with your money," she said, her voice rising.   
  
"I work my ass for you, so you can live in a huge house, and strut around in gucci and gold, and that is how you repay me? By jumping on somebody else's dick?" he shouted.   
  
"I didn't do anything wrong! I was shopping! Besides, I earn a paycheck around here too," her voice cracked.   
  
"Yeah, thanks to me, everything you've got in this life was because of me. You were a stupid bitch, and you're still a stupid bitch. I've carried your ass, you owe me everything!"   
  
"Stop it! Stop it!" she sobbed.   
  
"SHUT UP!" he screamed at her.   
  
"You're drunk," she cried.   
  
"You're a fucking slut." he said coldy.   
  
Usagi whirled around and faced herself in the mirror, taking in her swollen lips and tousled hair. She longed to tell Ryan about Endymion, how Endymion made her feel special, sexy, and smart. All emotions she never felt with Ryan. Also she yearned to tell him that she didn't need him. She was intelligent and could make it on her own. It was Ryan, not competence, that had kept her back all these years. All these things she longed to tell him.   
  
"I'm.. I'm sorry," she whispered instead, a loud click was her reply.   
  
Usagi sat in the corner of the room, her legs pressed against her chest, her small body raked with uncontrollable sobs. But she also felt a new emotion stirring in her chest. It was one of defiance and perverseness. She reached for the phone and quickly dialed a number. "Endymion I need you to come over," she said urgently.   
  
There was a long pause.   
  
"When?" came a husky whisper.   
  
"Tonight" 


	4. Revelations

Hey everyone! I'm sorry for taking so long in the update! I was on vacation with no computer. Also I noticed that I have not been writing notes in the beginning of the chapters, and I apologize. I would first like to thank everyone who sent reviews! They are extremely appreciated. I enjoy reading the praise and the criticism, as long as it's tasteful. Also this chapter may seem a little dull to you, and I apologize, but I think that it is for informational purposes, or "revelations." Chapter 5 will continue on with the unraveling plot, and I assure you that they are many twists and turns ahead, so enjoy reading and continue your journey into lust and deception.  
  
RATED: R FOR ADULT SITUATION AND LANUAGE  
  
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SAILORMOON BUT THE STORYLINE AND ALL ADDITIONAL ORIGINAL CHARACTERS BELONG TO ME  
  
Usagi let out a low, raspy moan that emerged from the back of her throat, as she gripped Endymion's wide, firm shoulders. She tossed her blonde hair, some of which was stuck to her forehead from sweat, as another orgasm gripped her. She kissed Endymion's arm, which was by her head and supporting Endymion's weight, lightly after she came back down. She studied Endymion's face as he gazed intently at her, his breath was coming in short, labored gasps. She opened her mouth, to call out his name, in an attempt to increase the intimacy and personalize their fucking, but all that came out from her swollen lips was a series of small moans. The reference was completely correct; fucking was what it could most accurately be referred to. They were both satisfying their carnal instincts, as Endymion continued to pump in and out of her small frame. Her chest tightened as her creamy legs did the same around his waist. Could this feeling that stirred in her bosom be love? Of course not. It was not the feeling she got when she was with Ryan. Oh yes, she was in love with Ryan, but right now she was feeling incredible lust for the man that was at this moment, a part of her. And in the battle between the heart and the body, the body had emerged victorious, as it would inexorably be again. She continued to analyze his handsome features, his stormy blue eyes. She could decipher lust and sexual pleasure, but of course they were a given. To her surprise she also noticed that his sapphire eyes contained no remorse or regret, but instead, a surprising look of determination and triumph, as though he completed a mission. However, her surprise was subtle and short lived, for she knew those same emotions was reflected in her face as well. She had triumphed over Ryan, somewhere he was sleeping alone in a cold bed, while she had some of the best sex of her life. She also felt no remorse. She was certain that given the opportunity, she would once again be in Endymion's arms, once again coaxed into his bed. Endymion gave her weak smile as she neared closer to another orgasm. She could no longer count how many she had experienced; they all seemed to have run together. She did know, however, that Endymion put as much discipline and control in his sex as he did to his violin. She felt his muscles tightening as their sweat- slicked bodies continued to move together. She ran her slender fingers through his thick ebony hair, and he let out a strangled moan as he reached his peak, and as she arched up to him, once again reaching hers. Usagi turned her head, to gaze at the face of the man that was now completely on top of her, his chest moving up and down quickly. A seductive smile played on her lips, as she asked in a husky whisper, "Now, who's Ryan's good girl." She gasped as the form on top her turned and she was faced with the delicate features of a handsome man with emerald eyes and dark-blonde hair.  
  
"Now you're my little dirty girl," Ryan breathed.  
  
Usagi shot up in bed with a start, her chest heaving. She ran her hand through her sweat-soaked bangs, as she tried to regain control of her breathing. Her hands searched the blankets around her for some sign that another individual had been indeed in bed with her, but the sheets were unruffled and cool to the touch. Definitely not signs that there had been an old-fashioned romp in this very bed. She looked down and also discovered she was still clothed in the rather revealing nightgown she had adorned for Endymion's viewing pleasure. Usagi placed a hand to her head as she recalled falling asleep in her bed, waiting for Endymion to arrive. "I'm seriously overworked," she sighed to herself. She glanced around the room, and noticed the steady blink of the red light on her answering machine. She reached for the play button with a shaky hand, afraid that it was once again Ryan. "I was sleeping," her voice quivered her explanation to the empty room. To her surprise, it was Endymion's voice that drifted from the answering machine. "Hey, Usa, um Usagi, I just can't-- make it over there tonight, yeah I have to--practice my violin, yes, my violin, big concert soon. Well I think we should, it would be better... *pause*... damn it. Just umm.. Give me a call. I guess, maybe I'll see you tomorrow," came Endymion's stuttering message. A slight smile tugged at her lips, as she thought about the message. Endymion sounded like a virgin schoolboy, talking to a girl for the first time, but as she replayed the message, it became more distinct to her that it sounded like Endymion was having an internal conflict. She shrugged it off, however. "He probably didn't come because I don't satisfy his soul," she said out loud mockingly. Inside she was slightly disappointed, but more relieved that she did not complicate her life by sleeping with a man that was quickly becoming one of her close friends. She looked at her digital alarm clock which flashed 5 o'clock. "I wonder what made him change his mind," she pondered out loud as she twisted her hair and headed to the bathroom in an attempt to start the day, and find some release from the predicament her steamy dream and left her in.  
  
Endymion slowly awoke, groggily pulling the heavy covers off. He managed to pull himself to an upright position, rather stiffly, due to the fact that he had fallen asleep still in the attire he had planned to wear to Usagi's.  
  
"Grr, Usagi," he growled angrily, as all the problems from the night before hit him like a freight train. He placed his heavy head into his palms as he tried to remember what exactly had happened the previous evening.  
  
*FLASHBACK* "All right, I'm coming right over," he whispered gruffly into the receiver before replacing it on its cradle. Endymion quickly ran into his bedroom to change into something more suitable. He slid into the bathroom, and came into a halt in front of his medicine cabinet. "This is it, after this, you can forget everything, this nightmare will finally be fucking over," he assured himself as he applied a slight amount of cologne. He grabbed his keys from the coffee table, and pulled his front door open, but to his surprise, someone was already standing there. "Motoki, what the hell are you doing here?" Endymion demanded of the tall blonde man that now blocked his path to Usagi's bed. "I have to tell you something," Motoki replied as he pushed his way into Endymion's apartment. "I don't know where you got this bullshit story about your aunt's death from, but it ain't true," he continued. "I don't have time for this shit," Endymion breathed impatiently. "Well make time," Motoki bit back. "Okay, what the hell are you talking about?" he shouted. "I know you say that your uncle was totally pissed, but I don't think he disowned you that much that he wouldn't even tell you that your own aunt died," Motoki explained. "I'm listening," Endymion replied, interest creeping into his voice. "So I decided to do a little research. I know where your aunt and uncle live because, you know we kind of grew up together. Anyway, your aunt AND uncle died two years ago, in a car crash," Motoki finished softly. Endymion gulped and looked away. "I'm real sorry man, but I think it's better this way. At least you know that your Uncle doesn't hate you. I also found in the town's records that they're buried side by side. I got the name of the cemetery, just in case you wanted to pay your final respects," Motoki added, handing him a piece of paper. "Thank you man, God I missed you," Endymion choked out as he gave Motoki a hug. "Take care of yourself now, get some rest. I'll call you tomorrow after I get off work. It will be just like old times," Motoki said, giving Endymion a slap on the back. "Yeah, just like old times," Endymion replied softly with a smile as he led Motoki to the front door.  
  
Endymion let out a long sigh as he closed to door after Motoki. He felt more relieved than saddened by his relatives' death since they've been dead to him for many years. He was just happy that they were finally delivered from their suffering. "I least I know my Aunt has a final resting place," he shared with the empty apartment. But that thought brought his mind crashing back to Usagi, who at this very moment was probably waiting for him to give her a nice, good romp. "Oh God," he panicked, slapping his hand against his forehead. He was not going to deny that he wanted her, any straight man would, but if he screwed her then what would Ryan do to her. He stumbled over to the phone and quickly dialed Usagi number, dialing the wrong number twice in his haste. He left a bumbling message on her answer machine, deciding that he would think about his dilemma in the morning, but that having sex with her would definitely not help his situation. "I just need to not think," Endymion whispered as he raced over to the refrigerator, searching it frantically for anything with some alcoholic content. "Damn it," he cursed his strict self-discipline of not drinking, after.. "I told myself I'm NOT going to think tonight," he scolded, as he settled for a Vanilla Coke instead. Unfortunately his mind was choosing to ignore him and decided to generate thoughts anyways. Thoughts that drifted to Usagi, and eventually Ryan. He reached for his cordless phone, got half-way through dialing Ryan's cell phone number, then thought better of it and hung up. Endymion knew Ryan was a ruthless business man and could destroy him. But he was less concerned about what Ryan would do to him than what he would do to Usagi. "What would happen if I just told Ryan I wasn't going to do his dirty work anymore, and he could just shove his lies and deals up his ass?" he pondered, but the answer to his question popped into his mind unpleasantly. Endymion knew exactly what Ryan would do. He would hire some other man, who would bang Usagi in an instant. Then... Endymion shuddered to think what Ryan would do to Usagi then. "No, I can't tell Ryan I won't do it," he continued his thought process out loud. Also an emotion that felt suspiciously like jealously burned in his chest at the thought of another man touching Usagi, but he quickly pushed it aside. Endymion thought hard for a few moments before it came to him. "When Ryan gets back, I'll just tell him that Usagi was a perfectly faithful wife, no lies, no nothing. He'll probably drop this idiotic notion then. All I've got to do is not have sex with Usagi," he said aloud happily, revealing his findings to the uncaring room. Now, with his conscience as clear as it had been in a long time, he fell exhausted into bed.  
  
*END FLASHBACK*  
  
Endymion ran his hand through his thick, dark hair, begrudgingly leaving the warmness of his bed. He glanced at his alarm clock which read 5:30. He wondered if Usagi would be embarrassed of her rebuffed attempts, or if she would come on even stronger. Maybe, everything would just go back like it used to be, just a friendly relationship. Endymion let out a cynical laugh. Nothing ever went back to how it used to be. And he was sure that Usagi had called him for the purposes of sex, he could tell by the aching desire present in her voice. "Only time will tell," he whispered softly, heading toward the shower; however, he was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. "Damn it, Motoki," he swore angrily as he threw his sweatpants back on and headed toward the door. "Motoki, what is it, I was about-" Endymion stopped in mid-sentence however for it was not Motoki at his door. "Usagi it's five-thirty in the morning!" he exclaimed. "Well I woke-up early and I wanted to talk," she said sheepishly. "Come on in," he sighed.  
  
Usagi instinctively made her way to the balcony. She found it very peaceful to stare at the still dark sky and sleeping Tokyo below. "So what's on your mind?" Endymion asked casually as he settled next to her, leaning against the railing. "Us," she replied softly. "What about us," he asked, suspicion creeping into his voice. "Everything, especially last night. I'll be honest with you. I called you because I wanted sex. There, I told you the truth, now be honest with me, did you want it?" she demanded. Endymion gazed into her cerulean eyes that held so much understanding, but still so many questions. "Yes, I wanted you," he replied hoarsely. "What made you change your mind?" she pressed. He looked away. "Endymion, what made you change your mind?" she demanded more firmly. Still no answer. "God damn it Endymion, would it be so bad to let someone in?" Usagi cried. "It was Motoki. God it was everything, just everything that happened." he answered exasperated. "What happened? Tell me everything, about Monique, about your Aunt and Uncle, let me help you!" she shouted. "You wouldn't understand, you'd hate me! You can't help, no one can," he spoke swiftly, with an air of confusion. "Look at me Endymion," she said, turning his face to hers. "I used to be a fun-loving, happy-go-lucky girl. Then I met Ryan, and I become a cold, dull, machine. Everything Ryan said, I obeyed. Last night I talked back to him, I rebuked him over the phone. I defied him by calling you! I disobeyed him by being your friend because I wanted to do it! And it felt good! Also this morning, I sang in the shower, and walked around the house nude, because that's what I wanted to do! It's me! Endymion, it's because of you I'm becoming the girl I used to be, the girl I love. Jesus Endymion, please. Let me do the same for you," she begged. Endymion stared into the dark, early-morning sky. Usagi's heavy breathing, caused by her ranting, was all that could be heard.  
  
"It started in my freshman year of high school, back in Italy," he began. "I was in the music room, it was after school, and I was practicing my violin, the one thing my mother left me after she died in the car accident. I knew I was going to become the best; people everywhere would adore my music as much as I adored making it. So I practiced diligently everyday. It was, perhaps around February, when she came in to see me. She said she heard my playing, thought it was beautiful. I thought she was beautiful. She had long blonde hair that went to the middle of her back and bright blue eyes. She swayed over to me in her impossibly low-hanging jeans and told me she came here to get away from her boyfriend. He was acting like a big jerk, she said. Anyway, after a few minutes I realized who she was. Her name was Gianna, miss perfect. Smart, popular, wealthy, athletic, and her boyfriend was mister perfect himself, captain of the lacrosse team. So I was thinking what the hell is this girl, a senior no less, doing with me, a freshman. I wasn't bad-looking, kinda scrawny, but still not in her league. She asked me to play for her, said it made her relax. Well, everyday she came back after school to listen to me play."  
  
He took a deep breath.  
  
"One day, it was March 18; actually, after I had finished playing, she told me she was going to show me how I made her feel when I played. I remember she lifted her teeny shirt above her head, and we did it, right in the music room. She was my first. And God, everyday she came back, and we did it every time. I completely forgot about practicing, after school became a fuck-fest. That's the only time I saw her, I didn't know she was still dating her boyfriend in the life she had outside the music room. During this time she must have regaled all her friends with our escapades and one of her friends took a liking to my best friend, Motoki. Motoki and I grew up together; he lived across the street from my Aunt and Uncle's. Anyhow, it was this busty chick; I think her name was Nina. She had dark red curly hair, real pretty. Of course, Motoki absolutely adored her, worshipped the ground she walked on. One day, it was late May, because I remember it was a week before graduation. Gianna came in to the music room as always, and I was all ready for another go, as usual. However, this time was different. She brandished her left-hand in front of me which adorned a diamond ring. Supposedly, mister popularity had asked her to marry him, and of course she agreed. She told me that she had no time for little boys anymore. I was just a fun-fuck, a little toy that she had now grown out of. She told me it could have never worked. I was to naive, a little boy who she had tried to make into a man, but I was an obviously failed attempt. That was two major blows, but the most hard-hitting was about to come. She told me she was pregnant, but of course she wasn't keeping the bastard. That's exactly what she called our child, just a bastard. I pleaded with her not to kill our baby, I told her that I didn't need to finish high school; I could play the violin for money, while she finished school, and we'd get by. I always loved children; I couldn't imagine just getting rid of one because of inconvenience. Every night I wonder if right now I would be tucking in a boy or girl, who'd whisper, "I love you Daddy."  
  
Endymion wiped furiously at his eyes before he continued.  
  
"So she left, saying good luck with your violin, something to that effect. I was so upset, I wasn't thinking straight. That evening, I stole the keys to my Aunt's new SUV, she had just brought it. I knew there was a place that people underage could get plastered. I just had to escape. I stayed there for about two hours, drinking anything I could get my hands on. By the time I got into the SUV to get home, I couldn't even walk straight. I was driving home down Main Street; I knew I was going too fast. Supposedly, Gianna, her boyfriend, Nina, Andrew, and Gianna's cousin Monique went out on Main Street that night to celebrate Gianna's engagement. Everything after this, Motoki will have a different version for, something about how it was all Monique's fault but that's a load of bull. Gianna just darted out into the road, I couldn't stop in time and-and I hit her. Oh God, I still wake up to the sound of her body slamming into the windshield, shattering it to a million pieces. She died, that night, lying on the cold pavement."  
  
He was silent for a few moments as he concentrated on the cold concrete beneath his feet. Usagi did not disturb his reverie, even trying not to breathe.  
  
"So of course I went to court. God, there were so many charges. Driving without a license, underage driving, driving under the influence, underage drinking, and manslaughter. Her boyfriend was devastated; all he did was weep so they couldn't put him on the stand. Motoki knew something about Monique, something about the accident, but Gianna's parents wouldn't let Motoki testify. Monique lived with them, and they didn't want their good name smudged. Nina and Gianna's parents must have discussed their story beforehand, but I'll never forget when Nina took the stand. She told the court that even though I was drunk, I had every intention of killing Gianna. She said that Gianna told me she was pregnant. Nina said that Gianna had had sex with me only once, and she was seventeen when the incident happened between us, and that it was a foolish mistake. Nina said that when Gianna told me she was keeping the baby, I couldn't handle it. Also she told the court I was madly in love with Gianna, and couldn't take the rejection of her marrying Marco (that was her boyfriend's name). Nina said that I went mad with rage, and I needed a way to get rid of Gianna, get rid of my problems. She said the opportunity of Gianna crossing the road seemed too great to pass up, so I purposely ran her over. I got up and I screamed every name I could think of at her. Not a good thing to do. I could never hold my tongue. However, Monique did testify, even though she wasn't a match for Nina, who was almost as angelic and beloved as Gianna. Monique, as you suggested, was lovely in my opinion. She had dark black hair that curled below her chin, and deep brown eyes that seemed to capture you. Also she had the most beautiful pale skin, and ruby lips. However, she had no father to speak of, she was the product of one night stand her mother had. She lived with her Aunt because her mother was in rehab, and Monique seemed to be following in her mother's footsteps. She hopped up on the stand, in her tight black tang-top and baggy black pants. And told her side of the story. Monique said that she thought Gianna was a whore, and that there was no way to prove the baby was mine. She said that it could be any guy's that was in this courtroom. She also said that she thought I was completely stable, and that Nina and her Aunt had made up that bullshit story to save perfect-little-Gianna's reputation. Obviously the rebel artist's testimony didn't hold up well against Nina and the public opinion of Gianna. It meant a lot to me though, especially since I really needed Motoki, but he wasn't there. I tried to talk to him before the trial; I thought that he'd support me. Instead he just looked away as if he didn't hear me. I later learned that Nina had forbid him to talk to me. After all we've been through, we grew up together, and it was even because of me Nina had given him the time of day. He betrayed me because of a little whore, but he was sooo in love. They broke up a few weeks later. I hope it was worth it to him."  
  
Endymion let out a slightly cynical laugh, and a rather ugly smirk appeared on his face as he stared out at sleeping Tokyo. He shook his head and continued.  
  
"I got a slight break however. Gianna's family was not as perfect as they seemed. Her father had gambling debts that left them in major financial trouble. They agreed to not press for jail time if they could get a large compensation. My poor Aunt couldn't bear to see my go to jail so she convinced my Uncle to agree, even though I had totaled her SUV. So I managed to skip jail time, but my relatives were left with extreme debt, especially because they didn't have much money to begin with. I couldn't stand being around them. They said they didn't hold anything against me, that people make mistakes, but I knew that they blamed me. So I decided to leave, and follow the path I would have taken if Gianna and I were together and had had the baby. I left with only my violin and ten dollars in my pocket."  
  
"While I was waiting at the bus stop I ran into Monique. She said she just liked to hang there. Whatever. I told her what I was planning to do since the whole fucking town and my aunt and uncle despised me. To my surprise, she asked if she could come along. Monique told me that after what she had said about precious Gianna on the stand, her Aunt and Uncle were throwing her out of the house and the town hated her too. So we traveled around Italy, she knew a lot of places where we could stop and stay, and she knew a lot of people like us. People who were trying to run away from their past. Finally, we got a nice little apartment. We made rent by the money I got playing the violin at odd gigs, and she sold some of her paintings. Rather romantic, right? We ended up having a physical relationship, even though she was older than me. I loved her so much. However, I came home one day, after trying unsuccessfully to join an orchestra, they said that I was too young, and I found her screwing a guy, in our bed. I was so angry I stormed out, but she followed me with only a bed sheet wrapped around her. I'll never forget the sentence she told me after she managed to get me to listen. She said: "How the hell do you think we've been getting money to make the rent." I never forgave myself for making her succumb to selling her body for me. The next day I was determined to give the girl I loved a good life. That's when I meant Malachite. He said I had talent and that he could work with me. He got me good gigs, and everything was going great until I came home and found a rose on the bed along with a letter. They were from Monique. The letter read that Malachite and she were going to Paris because he was going to make her a famous artist. It said that she needed a man like Malachite, not a boy. Someone who could provide for her, so she would never have to do what she did for me. It also said that she had tried to make me man, but she guessed she failed. I left Italy, and went to America, where I made it pretty big on my own. I never made amends with anyone from my past, and now it's too late for my apologizes to my aunt and uncle, they're fucking dead. And I'm still just a scared little boy, still running, instead of facing my problems like a man," Endymion finished, disgust dripping from his voice.  
  
Usagi stared at him for a few moments letting it all soak in. "God, Endymion," she whispered, "I had no idea." "Yeah, well now you do. I suppose you're now going to try to discreetly slip out of the apartment, away from the homicidal maniac," he replied harshly. Usagi had to suppress a smile, Rei's past warning echoing in her head. "Endymion, I don't blame you for what you did. Everybody makes mistakes. And I can't imagine anyone ever wanting to get rid of something as precious as a baby," she said softly, absent-mindedly running a hand over her barren stomach. "So.. You don't hate me," Endymion choked out. In response, Usagi wrapped her arms around him. Endymion rested his chin upon her shoulder, and she felt his warm tears land on her silk blouse as the first rays of sun broke through the dark morning sky, signaling a new day.  
  
Well I hope this chapter cleared up a few questions about Endymion's  
past! Also please review, review, review! As before mentioned in my  
note at the beginning of this chapter, chapter 5 will focus entirely  
on the present, and the romance and temptation that is my story! 


	5. Turning the Tables

Hey! Here's chapter 5! Thanks so much for all the reviews!  
  
Rated R for strong sexuality and strong language  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon but the storyline is mine Trust Between the Covers Chapter 5  
  
Endymion walked along the street towards Il Cafe Centro with a light step. He felt happier than he had in a long time. He was on his way to hang out with Motoki when he got off his shift, and opening up to Usagi had lightened the weight of his guilt, even though not completely. He felt like perhaps he could move on, maybe with Usagi. But he quickly reprimanded his mind for even suggesting the idea. He had already decided that he was not going to do Ryan's dirty work, but he was not ready to commit to the idea of running away with his wife, even if it was tempting. He couldn't, he wouldn't fall in love with Usagi. It was reckless, immoral, but most of all incredibly moronic. It was going to be hard enough to avoid Ryan's wrath when he revealed Usagi was faithful, but it was suicidal to run away with her. However, he decided to focus on more pleasant things as he neared the Cafe.  
  
"Hey Motoki, you done yet?" Endymion asked as he peaked his head into the kitchens. "It'll be another 15 minutes man," came a muffled reply. Endymion sighed and slipped back outside into the sunshine. "Endymion!" he heard a sultry feminine voice call. He whipped around and his eyes fell on the owner of the voice. A lovely woman with her raven hair pulled back into a messy bun, violet eyes, and a red halter and tight blue jeans that revealed her curves. "Hello Rei," he replied with a smile. "Why are you here? I wouldn't be in my workplace unless I absolutely had to," she laughed, motioning him to take a seat next to her. "How's the book coming?" he asked. "Oh, I really like it. I think it may be my best one yet!" she bubbled with enthusiasm. "It's a romance, isn't it?" he asked. "Yup, that's all I write. I feel like there's a fire burning within me, and it comes out through the written words," she replied breathless. "I love how you have so much passion for your work, you remind me of myself," he said with a soft smile. "Do you have a publisher yet?" he continued. "Ugh no, well not anyone who's really interested," she sighed. "You know, one of my old friends, who definitely owes me, knows a publisher who's pretty famous. I'll give Kunzite a call and see if he can get a hold of this guy. I can't make any promises though. We haven't spoken in five years," he cautioned. "You don't have to do that for me," she argued half-heartedly. "No, I wanted to talk to him anyway. I'm in a little groove of making peace now. Is Saturday good for you, maybe you can meet him then?" he insisted. "Oh no! I can't. Saturday is Usagi's birthday, and me and Ami are throwing her a party," she cried with disappointment. "Her husband isn't even going to be home on her birthday?" he asked incredulously. "He'll be home Sunday, I suppose they'll do something," she replied absent- mindedly. "Hmm, maybe Sunday then," he said slowly, an idea for Usagi's birthday forming in his mind. However, Rei's voice bought him back to earth. "Well since you insist, at least let me read you a portion of it. So you don't go out on a limb for something that you think is completely shit," she explained. "You have my undivided attention," he replied seriously. Rei shifted through her papers, found the page she was looking for, and cleared her throat. "Her bosom heaved with desire and a heat slithered in her stomach like a snake, rearing up with lust. It had been so long since a man had made her heart skip a beat, so long since her skin was sent on fire by a man's touch. But watching this dark, brutally handsome man made her think that those passions lost so long ago could be rekindled, and dare she say it, or even think it, that he could once again make her take a chance on love. But still, all she could do was watch. Cursed without courage and an unholy fear of rejection, she could just watch and wait and hope until he knew of her desire, and felt the same," she finished softly. Endymion's loins had tightened as he listened to her sultry voice and watched her pouty lips form the lust-filled words. "That was..uh.. amazing," he croaked out hoarsely. "Thank you, but I was hoping to give it a happy ending," she whispered as she leaned in closer to Endymion. "I don't know if I can be much of an inspiration," he whispered. "Oh, I have a few ideas," she breathed, their faces nearly touching. "Hey man, ready to go? I'm starving!" Motoki's cheery voice called out. "Oh, yeah!" Endymion replied quickly, jumping out of his seat as though it was burning hot. "Well I guess I'll see you around," Rei said slowly, her voice laced with confusement. "Yeah, I'll give you a call and tell you how the thing with the publisher went. Well bye," he finished nervously leaving a very startled Rei behind.  
  
"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything," Motoki said gleefully. "No, you weren't," Endymion replied begrudgingly. "There's nothing wrong with liking Rei, she's pretty hot," Motoki said sensibly. "That's the thing, I don't feel any connection with her, I let my dick get the best of me. I really need a good old-fashioned fuck," he sighed. "Tell me about it," Motoki grumbled. "So you're not seeing anybody," Endymion asked, grateful for the chance to steer the conversation away from himself. "I'm actually seeing this great girl Rita. Oh my God, she is amazing in bed, she does this thing with her tongue that's unbelievable-" Motoki started before Endymion cut him off. "Then why the hell are you bitching about your love life?" he said with an exasperated sigh. "She's an archeologist and she's on a dig in Africa for three months," he replied sadly. "So you're a single guy, and a musician, girls should be throwing themselves on you. Oh I forgot, you have to feel a "connection." Goddamn man, ever since, you-know, you have been so cautious. You have to be a little reckless, live in the moment once in a while. You probably haven't been fucked for six years, talk about a dry spell," Motoki laughed. "Ha, Ha. I have been laid, just not..um.often," Endymion finished lamely. "But maybe I'll take up your advice. Usagi's pretty hot. Maybe I'll do a little horizontal dancing with a married woman. That'll spice up my life," he said with a wolfish grin. However Motoki was not smiling. "I don't give a damn about her husband, personally I think he's an A-class asshole, but I do give a damn about Usagi. You can bang her if you want, but you better not plan her as some fling. If you break her heart, I swear to God I'll break something of yours, preferably the organ hanging between your legs," Motoki replied angrily. "Okay, man chill-out. Can we talk about something besides my love-life," he said defensively. "You mean lack of one?" Motoki added helpfully. Endymion just chose to ignore Motoki's last comment and continued. "Why the hell are you working as a waiter? Last I heard you were going to open your own restaurant." Endymion said. A shadow fleeted across Motoki's face. "Yeah well, my sister married this Japanese guy who she met on a business trip in Tokyo and decided to move here with him. She told me that the restaurant industry down here was booming and I knew I wasn't going to get anywhere living in that shit-hole of a town in Italy so I jetted out of there straight after high school and came here. I opened my own place. I was doing real well. Until that son-of-a-bitch Ryan thought I was screwing around with Usagi. He put me out of business and now I'm just a fucking waiter in a damn Cafe," he finished bitterly. "C'mon, let's go, I'm done eating," Motoki said as he got up. Endymion smiled to himself as a new feeling coursed through veins. He was tired of being afraid of Ryan and it was time Ryan got his. He felt a connection with Usagi that he had not felt since Monique. Ryan was going to see what it was like to be deceived and burned. Oh how the tables had turned.  
  
Usagi entered her large house much earlier than she would have dared if Ryan was home. She had taken a half-day, something the old Usagi would never have dreamed of doing. But that was exactly the point. She was tired of the oppression and boredom every day of her life had entailed since she was with Ryan. A defiance burned within her, and she would be damned if she was going to play the role of "the good girl" one second longer. She quickly discarded her business clothes and left them wrinkled on the floor with a smug smile tugging at her lips. Ryan despised sloppiness. She shifted through the clothes in her closet until she got to the back where she kept the clothes that Mina and she used to go out in. Ryan had ordered her to throw away her "hooker attire" as he so eloquently put it, but Usagi had secretly kept it. "God I hope this still fits," she groaned as she shimmied into a pair of tight flare jeans and a black halter top. She surveyed herself proudly in the mirror. She had kept herself in shape so Ryan would find her attractive. Everything was for Ryan. "Not that it mattered," Usagi spat bitterly, thinking of all the times Ryan just gave her a passive glance. And on the rare occasion that they did make love, it was quick and concise. Well Usagi was tired of being the one chained in the house, tired of keeping her sexuality bottled up like something vile and dangerous. She was going to make Ryan feel unwanted, unloved. She was turning the tables and taking control. She casually placed a picture of Ryan and herself face down as she strutted towards the front door with one person in mind: Endymion.  
  
"Guess who," Usagi whispered into his ear. "Usagi?!" Endymion said surprised as he whipped around to face the goddess in front of him. She looked stunning in her jeans and a black halter top that revealed a slip of her flat stomach and outlined her firm breasts. "So this is how you go to work? I need to get myself a job at your office," he whistled as he gave her a quick once-over. "For your information, I took a half-day. Why don't you do the same? I want to talk," she explained, motioning to the table that Endymion was in the process of wiping down when she disturbed him. "My shift ends in five minutes anyway, just let me finish cleaning this up, kay?"  
  
"So what's on you mind," Endymion asked as he pulled out a chair for her at a table, then positioned himself backwards on a chair in front of her. "Nothing dire, I just... missed you I suppose," she said softly, leaning over the table slightly to draw attention to her breasts which were straining against the thin fabric of her halter. "Well..umm.." Endymion fumbled as he tried to form a sentence, but the picture of Usagi in front of him and his stiff member were proving to make this task more difficult. "If you don't want to associate with me anymore because of last night I'll understand," he stated glumly. "Oh no no no, Endymion, I'm happy you shared your pain with me, it brought us closer," she said as she clasped his hand from across the table. The held each other's gaze for a few moments until Usagi broke away with a blush. "Well now onto more joyful topics, you know my birthday's on Saturday," she bubbled. "I know," he answered. Usagi raised an eyebrow in response. "Oh my God no, it's not like that. Your friend Rei comes in here a lot and we talk sometimes and she told me," he explained with a laugh. Usagi laughed along, but something that felt like jealousy burned inside her. "Well I'm going out with the girls on Saturday, but I would love to see you tomorrow," she said. "I'd like that too. What did you want to do for your big birthday bash," he asked with a smile. "Umm, I would love to go dancing again. It was so much fun the last time," she said enthusiastically as she threw her long blonde hair over her shoulder. "Oh yeah, well where would you like to dance?" he asked good-naturedly. Usagi lifted herself over the table, giving Endymion a good view of her breasts and flat stomach, as she leaned over to whisper something in his ear. "Your bedroom," she breathed. She slide back over to her seat and watched his face intently. His dick wanted to ask her why wait until Friday, they could celebrate right now. But instead he answered: "Usagi, I'm flattered, really. But I thought we decided we were just going to be friends," he proceeded cautiously. "Goddamnit Endymion! I'm tired of always being rational. I know I have a husband; I'm not a fucking moron. Jesus Christ I'm reminded of him every day with his little phone calls to check up on me. All I know is that I feel something for you Endymion that I have not felt for a very long time. I need to be loved, emotionally and physically. For once I want to take a chance, and be reckless. Endymion, I want you," she finished softly. "Usagi, I'll admit, I lied to you on the balcony a few nights ago. I do feel connection with you, and it's definitely stronger than that of friendship. However, I don't want you to regret us. I know I would never, but I'm not so sure about you. "Well Endymion, I'm a big girl. I can make my own decisions and handle the consequences accordingly," she replied icily. "I know that, all I'm saying is that I don't want to hurt you," he whispered. "Just give us a chance, who knows maybe we'll fall in love," she spoke softly as she leaned closer to him. "I think I already have," he breathed as their mouths came together. Usagi let out a small moan as Endymion's velvet tongue caressed hers. "Usagi, I'm still not sure," he said between haggard breaths after they finally broke apart. "Well hopefully I'll see you Friday. I'll be waiting. Maybe then you can let go of the past and see that the future is standing right in front of you," she said coldly as she got up out of her seat and walked swiftly into the city current. Endymion watched Usagi's retreating back until the last wisps of golden hair were swallowed by the swarming crowd.  
  
"What the fuck do you think you're doing," Motoki said harshly as he grabbed Endymion and pressed him roughly against the kitchen wall. "Well I was just going to check my schedule to see when I'm working, I didn't know it was a crime," he replied gruffly as he flung Motoki away from him. "You know damn well I'm talking about what just happened out there with Usagi," he spat. "Well you can just drop this over-protective, big brother, bullshit. I'm not going to break her heart," Endymion said angrily. "How am I supposed to know that," Motoki asked bitterly. "Because I'm in love," he shouted. Motoki just stared at his best friend blankly for a moment and realized that he was telling the god-honest truth. "You know I didn't get so upset just because of Usagi, I'm looking out for you too. She's married, I don't think this relationship is going to end well," Motoki tried to explain. "I can't see into the future, but what I know right now is that Usagi is the most beautiful, caring, and perfect woman I have ever met and I'm not going to let a fucking ring and document stand between fates," Endymion replied in a shaky voice. "Okay, I'll butt out," Motoki answered softly. He did not have the heart to tell Endymion that Usagi was probably just using him to get revenge on her husband. Everything seemed to begin and end with Ryan.  
  
"I'm coming!" Usagi called out annoyed. She tossed aside the book that she was thoroughly enjoying and glanced at the clock. She had hoped Endymion would come today, but had not expected him this early. She released her hair from a messy bun and sauntered to the door. "I wasn't expecting you this soon, but I rather like surprises," Usagi said in a sultry voice as she opened the door. "What the hell-" Usagi exclaimed as a petite blonde woman hopped on her. "Usa, God I missed you," came a muffled voice. Usagi managed to push the woman off of her. "Oh my God, Mina!" Usagi exclaimed in shock. "Wha-why- how did you get here?" she gaped. "Well Endymion called Kunzite and asked him about me, because he wanted to bring me here as his birthday present to you. Look I even put a bow in my hair," Mina explained pointing to a rather large red bow that was pulling back half of her hair. "I can't believe he would do that for me," Usagi whispered. "I know, Endymion seems like a great guy, I can't wait to meet him, I hear he's absolutely gorgeous," she bubbled until a cough from behind interrupted her. "Oh my gosh, I totally forgot, Usagi this is my fiancée Kunzite," Mina said going over to a tall well-built man with long silver-blonde hair. "It's very nice to meet you," she said politely. "Now you can be my matron of honor, just as we had it all planned! Oh Usa, I have not stopped obsessing about what I did to you. Please forgive me. I swear I won't let anything come between us again," Mina said, tears threatening to fall from her light blue eyes. "It's okay," Usagi whispered as she embraced her best friend. "It was very nice meeting you Usagi, but is there anyway that I could talk to Endymion?" Kunzite asked.  
  
"What the hell do you want?" Endymion pulled open his door rudely. "To talk to you," Kunzite replied impatiently. "I appreciate you bringing Mina here for Usagi, but I'm afraid our relationship is irreparable." he said about to the slam the door. "Endymion..." he sighed, putting his foot out to stop the door from closing. "Why don't you just go fuck yourself, or better yet, Monique?" Endymion asked bitterly. "I just want to talk," Kunzite pleaded. Endymion sighed as he opened the door wider to give the silver-haired man access to his apartment.  
  
"So Endymion must be pretty sweet on you to fly me all the way here just for your birthday," Mina said in an attempted casual voice as she admired the clothing in Tokyo's finest boutiques. "You haven't changed a bit Mina, always trying to find out the latest gossip," Usagi laughed. "Well I for one I think Endymion's a fine piece of ass," Mina said bluntly.  
  
Usagi burst out laughing. She had forgotten how much Mina made her feel like a teenage girl. "Trust me, what's going on between me and Endymion is nothing that serious. But I do agree with you, Endymion is definitely do-able," Usagi added with a smile. "So that's it, he's just your little fuck-toy, that's your relationship," Mina asked incredulously. "What's that's supposed to mean? Mina, I thought you'd back me up one percent on this affair thing. I thought you'd be like, 'Go Usa! That's the girl I used to know! Do whatever your heart tells you to, and fuck the rest of them.' You're supposed to be my best friend!" Usagi said, her voice rising. "Oh my God Usagi! Are you fucking blind?! The man's obviously in love with you!" Mina cried exasperated. "So what do you want me to do, run away with him?" Usagi bit back. "Yes. It's better than being with that ogre of a man you call a husband. I don't know, maybe it's just me but I'd rather be with a man who loves me than with a man who doesn't give two shits about me," she answered trying to control her voice to a normal level. "Mina we're not teenagers anymore. For God's sake I'm almost thirty years old. Love, love doesn't exist anymore. Look at me. I live a women's dream! I live in a huge house, with a powerful husband, and I don't have a care in the world. Yeah, maybe when I was younger I could believe that I would fall head-over heels, out-of-the ball park kind of love. But Mina, I woke up! Love is a man who takes care of me. And I found that," Usagi finished quietly. "I'm head over heels, out-of-the ball park in love with Kunzite," Mina told her timidly. "The man who my husband hired to take you away from me? I'm sorry but that doesn't happen to ordinary people. Trust me, I'm extremely happy for you, honestly, but what happened between you two is one in a million," she laughed. "You never know, maybe you're that one in the next million," Mina smiled. Usagi just shook her head and they changed the topic to more pressing matters such as if that red top went with that mini-skirt.  
  
Endymion walked half-way across the room, and then thought better of it. He had to get out of this apartment. All evening he had taken refuge here, drowning in his new found desire and love for Usagi and creating songs just for her. He sighed. He would not let love become his master and he just its pet. Not again. He needed some fresh air. In fact, he needed a drink. "C'mon Kunzite, there's a nice place around here that I play at sometimes, where a fellow can get a drink," he said reaching for his car keys. "I thought you didn't drink anymore," he replied with a smile. "Well that was then, and this is now. I'm not talking about getting plastered. To get completely drunk is lack of self-control. A man has self- control, and for once in my life I can say that I am a man," Endymion said, raising his chin as though to dare Kunzite to challenge his words. "Yeah, and you're a man who still has a rose from an ex-girlfriend," he said coolly, motioning to the delicate red rose resting in a vase on the table. "You said you wanted to talk, if you're here to just throw that in my face then you can get the fuck out," Endymion replied simply. Kunzite stared at him for a moment. "Lead the way," he said softly, following Endymion out.  
  
"This place ain't bad, ain't bad at all," Kunzite whistled as he admired the mahogany bar, and the gentle tickling of the piano in the background. "Well you know I don't exactly play in shit-holes," Endymion replied as he hoisted himself onto a bar stool. "A scotch and water please," he told the bartender. "I'll take a gin and tonic," Kunzite added as he slipped next to Endymion. "If you must know why I came here, it was because I wanted to apologize," Kunzite said softly. "For what exactly are you apologizing for?" he replied with a quirked eyebrow. Kunzite opened his mouth to reply, but closed it again quickly as the bartender placed their drinks in front of them. He gave the bartender a nod of thanks before continuing with the conversation. "You know damn well that I'm talking about the Monique thing," Kunzite whispered as he leaned closer to Endymion. "Yeah, I knew what you were talking, I was just making sure you knew what the hell you were apologizing for because at the time you seemed to think that you weren't doing anything wrong," Endymion said roughly as he took a gulp of the drink in front him. His face twisted in disgust at the bitter taste of the alcohol that he was unaccustomed to and he let out a dry cough. They sat in silence for a few moments. Kunzite sighed as he raised the glass to his lips and swallowed the alcohol, cough-free. Endymion reignited the conversation. "You know if the only way you can get girls to sleep with you is to promise them the world, then you don't receive my anger, you receive my pity," he said with a smile that did not reach his eyes. "I guess I deserved that," Kunzite chuckled. "Yeah you did," Endymion added curtly, taking another sip. "Well the past is the past right. Tell me about the future. You told me you're getting married. Do you really think that a relationship set up by deception and lies is actually going to work," he asked incredulously. Kunzite stared at his drink for a few moments. "I know the only reason I met Mina is because Ryan paid me to take her on, but that doesn't make her any less wonderful as a person," he replied sincerely. "Does she know the circumstances on which you two were introduced?" Endymion asked quietly. "I was afraid to tell her at first, afraid that I would lose her, but she didn't care. See, it doesn't matter your past, or even how you met. All that matters is what happens inside your relationship, everything else can burn in bloody hell. If you're happy and she's happy, well then that's all that matters. Actually something does matter more than happiness:love. You've got that, then you've got everything. And Endymion, that is one thing that we have plenty of," Kunzite smiled as he cleared his throat and wiped quickly at his eyes. Endymion sat without saying anything for a few moments. "I think I'm in love," Endymion choked out. "Does she love you," he asked softly. "I-I don't know," he whispered. "Well my advice as a friend and as a man in the same predicament as yourself, I say go for it. Go for it with all you're worth." Kunzite said firmly. "I'm scared, it's not really a traditional relationship" Endymion replied. "Did you not just hear everything I said? If you're in love you can do no wrong to her, because love is not selfish, and selfishness is the root of evil. If you're in love then the rest of the world can go fuck themselves. Don't give a damn what everybody else says or thinks. Do you think Mina and I didn't encounter static when we started going out? Everybody thought she was just using me to further her career, but we proved all those interfering mother fuckers wrong. If you've got love, then you've got everything." Kunzite said, his voice quivering with passion. "Amen preacher," Endymion smiled as he raised his glass to a toast for new beginnings.  
  
There was a gentle knock on the door. Endymion glanced at the clock on his bedside table. It read 1:00. He threw his book to the floor and heaved himself out of bed thinking who the hell was knocking on his door at one in the morning. "Hullo," he answered hoarsely. "Hey," came a soft angelic voice. "Usa-Usagi," Endymion replied clearing his voice. "What are you doing here at this hour, a bit improper don't you think?" he teased. She slipped through the doorway but un-characteristically did not head for the balcony. "I came here to thank you for bringing Mina here, it was the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me," she purred as she nimbly pulled at his shirt buttons. She was so close. Her intoxicating scent made his head spin and his loins tighten. "Well you're welcome," he managed to reply. "Mmm, I'm not done thanking you yet," she whispered seductively and she stood on her tip-toes to give him a kiss. However his response was not one that she was expecting.  
  
Endymion roughly pushed Usagi away from him. "What's wrong, I thought there was something between us, I know you felt it to!" she cried. Endymion laughed bitterly as a sarcastic smile crossed his features. "You want to thank me," he said in a dangerously low voice. She nodded slowly in response. "When people make love it's because they're in love and they want to share everything with that person: their mind, body, and soul. Not to thank them, you whore!" he shouted harshly. "Oh my God Endymion! Grow the hell up! What are you, a fucking faggot? People have sex for pleasure. If all those other fairy-tale things are present then that's just peachy, but in most relationships it's not like that," she shouted back. "I thought that you were beautiful, not just on the outside but inside too. I thought you were caring, gentle, and kind. I thought you were like me. I thought you were different," his finished softly. He walked slowly to the balcony and closed the door noiselessly behind me.  
  
Usagi gaped awkwardly after him. She was not going to let this happen. Endymion made her like she used to be. Endymion was her weapon against Ryan. Through Endymion she could get back at Ryan for all the pain he had caused her, but without fighting or disturbing the lifestyle she had grown so accustomed to. Being with Endymion had made her feel so rebellious and alive. Endymion was her secret, guilty pleasure and she would be damned before she lost him.  
  
Endymion gazed out at the sleeping city below, his face hard. He had risked everything for Usagi. He had torn down the walls he had so carefully erected for all those years after just a few days of being with her. He had looked forward to the moment when they would make love. Not because he was hired by Ryan, not because she wanted to thank him, but because she felt as strongly for him as he did for her. But that was just a dream. Just a fucking empty dream.  
  
Usagi slipped out onto the balcony next to Endymion. He did not acknowledge her presence. "God Endy, I'm so sorry. I feel like a complete ass. I didn't mean to come off like that. You have to understand, I'm not used to communicating my feelings. I needed to show you somehow how I felt. Not just for reuniting me and Mina, but for everything else you've done for me. I need to show you what I feel for you. I want to make love, not screw or fuck, but make love to you, because I'm in love," she whispered.  
  
Endymion stared at her eyes, searching for truth in their blue depths. He saw desire, passion, and another strange emotion he could not place. Could it have been love? Endymion gaze wandered from her perfect face to her wedding ring that was glinting softly in the moonlight. "Fuck the world," he thought savagely as he captured Usagi's mouth in a passionate kiss.  
  
Endymion picked her up and carried her over to his bed, placing her down gently. She moaned softly as his velvet tongue caressed her mouth, urging her to respond. Usagi fumbled with his buttons and let his silk shirt slide soundlessly to the floor. Her hands roamed over the taunt, sinewy flesh of his back. They broke away for a moment, their breathing haggard, as Endymion pulled her shirt over her head. He deftly unclasped her bra, allowing her round, perky breasts to bounce free. He trailed warm kisses down her neck, over her collarbone, and finally over one of her creamy mounds. Usagi let out a small gasp as he took one hard pebble in his mouth, and then the other. He smiled wolfishly as he flicked his tongue over one of her nipples, teasing and pleasuring her. After he tired of this game, he continued downward, placing light kisses on her flat stomach, until... "What are you doing?!" Usagi cried as she pulled Endymion's head away from her most sensitive area by his hair. He gave her a confused look until it finally dawned on him. Usagi always complained about how much her sex life was by "the book." He slithered back until his head was by her ear. "Was Ry- have you only had one man," he whispered softly as his fingers traced tantalizing circles around her erect nipples. "Uh-huh," she whimpered. "Just close your eyes," he replied soothingly and he went back down. Usagi giggled softly as Endymion's hot breath tickled her sex, but the giggles were soon replaced by a low guttural moan as-was that his tongue?!- slipped inside her. She tangled her hands into his thick raven hair, urging him deeper, desperate to take more of this immense pleasure he was giving her. Finally, as her wild moans reached their peak, she arched upward and shakily fell back down unto the satiny sheets. Endymion's face reemerged next to her, a wicked grin tugging at his lips. She gave him a weak smile in return. He kissed her again hungrily, and she enjoyed the sensation of tasting herself on his lips. She gasped as she felt his hard member rubbing against her thigh, straining against the fabric of his boxers. With quivering hands, she slid them off his slender hips and admired his large, erect manhood. Their eyes locked for a moment, and all that could be heard was their low intense breathing. Endymion knew in the back of his mind that this moment was not as perfect as he had hoped it would be. He secretly realized that Usagi's feelings were not as strong and awe-inspiring as his own. But as he reached over for a condom, all that he cared about was that the woman he loved desired him as much as he desired her.  
  
He flipped over onto his back. "Endy, what are you doing?" she cooed. "It's better if you're on top," he whispered huskily. Usagi gave him a seductive smirk and she lowered herself unto his hard, throbbing rod. She moaned as he filled her. She froze for a moment, allowing herself to become accustomed to a larger size than she was used to. Slowly she began a rhythm as old as time. Throughout the darkness all that could be heard was the moans and gasps of two individuals who had had kept their emotions bottled up for far too long.  
  
Endymion smiled as he stroked Usagi's sweat-soaked bangs away from her eyes. He could not remember the last time he had felt so fulfilled. He watched her silently, slightly awed by her astounding beauty, as she lay tangled in his bed sheets, her blonde hair a halo around her. "No matter what Usako, I will protect. I will take you away from all the suffering you have known and we'll start a family and be happy. I swear to you Usagi, Ryan will never hurt again, whether it be physically, emotionally, or just by not loving you as you deserved to be loved. This I promise because I love you," he whispered softly. A soft smile crossed her lips, as she cuddled her face into the fluffy pillows, sinking deeper into sleep.  
  
Endymion slipped off the bed as quietly as possible to not disturb Usagi. He walked stiffly over to the kitchen to prepare some coffee, when something caught his eye. He touched the rose gingerly. It was amazing how long it stayed alive, and disgusting how good care he took of it. He pondered deeply for a moment. Thinking of her, thinking of Usagi, thinking of everything. Finally he broke out of his reverie and walked slowly over to the balcony. The early morning sun reflected off his silky midnight locks. He grasped the rose with his right hand, the thorns making tiny pricks. He looked unflinchingly at the small streams of blood that were now coursing from his palm, down to his wrist. "This is the last time you will cause me pain," he choked out as he threw the ruby flower over the edge and watched as it fell silently to the awakening city below.  
  
"You didn't come home last night, you think you would've called, I was worried sick," Mina complained as Usagi threw herself upside down unto the couch. "Whatever, you weren't worried, you were probably to busy screwing Kunzite," she replied with a smile. Mina's blush verified Usagi's assumption. "So is the guest bed satisfactory?" Usagi pried. "It was above our expectations," she answered dryly. "Good," she replied curtly. "So where were you last night?" Mina questioned, tactfully changing the subject. "If you must know I slept with Endymion and it was the best sex I had ever had," Usagi replied truthfully, challenging Mina to give her a moral lecture. "So when will I hear the divorce papers signing and wedding bells ringing?" she asked with a laugh. "Oh my God Mina, it's nothing like that! I don't even want to think ahead that far. Ever since I was young I thought about the future. Listening to my mind even though I didn't want to. That's one of the reasons I married Ryan. My mother loved him, you know he can be so charming, and before she died of the cancer one of her last wishes was to see me married and taken care of. I think I loved Ryan, I still do, but I wasn't ready for marriage then. Right now I'm listening to the rest of me for a change, and it feels pretty damn good!" she finished emphatically. "Well maybe it's a good thing that you're not serious about Endymion because a girl Kunzite is friends with called him last night. She seemed very interested to find out Kunzite was with Endymion. Now what was her name... Margaret? No. Monica? No. Oh, now I have it: Monique."  
  
Well that's the end of chapter 5! Hope you enjoyed it! I hope this story's not confusing, I promise you all be revealed in time! Also for those who are wondering where Ryan is, he'll be making his presence known soon! Review! Review! Review! I'm hoping to reach 100 reviews after this chapter! Make my dream come true:) 


	6. Trust Between the Covers

Hi! Wow, thanks so much for the reviews! You don't know how much this means to me, you people are the reason why I write! I hope that you're enjoying the story so far; I'm trying to make the characters as developed as possible, but sometimes it becomes a little hard for me to portray them as they are in my mind! I hope you're following along and relating to the characters as I had hoped you would. I have been so busy with school work. I am hoping to update once a month. So now that I'm done with my mindless babbling, onto the chapter.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SAILOR MOON BUT THE PLOTLINE AND ALL OTHER ORGINAL CHARACTERS CAME FROM MY OWN HEAD.  
  
RATED: R FOR STRONG SEXUALITY AND COARSE LANGUAGE  
  
I AM EXTREMELY SORRY TO MY EDITORS, BUT I LOST YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESSES, MY E-MAIL IS REALLY GAY. SO IF YOU WOULDN'T ME RESENDING IT, I WOULD STILL LOVE TO HAVE YOU AS MY EDITORS! THANKS YOU SO MUCH, AND AGAIN I AM EXTREMELY SORRY!!!  
  
Trust Between the Covers  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Endymion slipped into his darkened bedroom. The shades were drawn tightly shut, blocking out the bright morning sun. He maneuvered his way through the outlined shapes of his furniture and pulled up the shades with a snap.  
  
"Hmm..." a figure mumbled incoherently as the bedcovers rustled.   
  
"Hey morning glory," he said huskily as he gave the lump in his bed an affectionate pat on the behind.   
  
"Leave me be Endy," came the muffled reply.   
  
Endymion sighed in exasperation as he sauntered out of the room and into the kitchen, a smile tugging at his lips as he thought how wonderful it would be to wake up next to Usagi every morning.   
  
He sat pensively for a moment. He had decided. For a while he was teetering at what looked like an impossibly large precipice, but he was going to take the leap. He was going to leave all the sturdy ground behind him and take a chance on the unknown and unstable. But he had to leave ALL the past.   
  
Endymion took a deep breath as he forced himself into the lovely circular room that housed his most prized possession. He got on his hands and knees, searching through an endless mess of music books and sheets. Finally he pulled a rather crinkled piece of paper folded four times from in between two music sheets in his handwriting. With a great deal of strength and will, he managed to heave himself off the floor and back into the bedroom.   
  
He stopped short at the beautiful sight before him, his breath catching in his throat and his member stiffening.   
  
Usagi flipped the golden cascade which was her hair over her shoulder as she focused her cerulean eyes upon him. Endymion froze entranced at the clear depths hidden beneath black, sooty lashes. Her porcelain skin glowed softly from the morning sun as she sat upright, the sheet slipping off her, revealing a glimpse of her creamy mound and pink nipple.   
  
She was gorgeous. She was his angel. She was his salvation. And at that moment she was everything.   
  
"Yes?" she asked throatily with a raised eyebrow.  
  
Endymion smiled weakly as he sat in a chair across from the bed. With shaking fingers he opened the aging paper. He closed his eyes tightly. The words to the letter were already firmly imprinted upon his mind. He could hear her deep melodic voice form the words. Her pouty lips saying the things that would scar him forever. Her soulful eyes and pale skin, the way her raven hair would fall softly over the curve of her face. He could see the way she would arch up to him as he ran his hands over her concave stomach. He could feel her slender hips rocking against him, demanding more, always demanding more. His nostrils flared as his senses were assaulted with her essence. His eyes flew open suddenly. Non ancora mai. Never again.   
  
He rose stealthily out of his seat as he walked sleekly over to the bedside. He kneeled down beside her, crossing his arms and resting his head upon them next to her. Usagi slid back down, laying her head on the pillow to become eye level with him. She stared into his midnight blue eyes with lashes that rivaled her own. She gently stroked his silky strands away from his handsome face carved with prominent nose, full lips, and strong jaw. He was handsome; the prime specimen of what is manly beauty. He was her damnation. He was what ruined everything, but saved her. Their soft breathing filled the silence comfortably.   
  
"You have something important, I can see it in your eyes," she breathed, as her fingertips brushed almost unfelt over his eyelids, like the passing of butterfly wings.   
  
"I have been unfaithful to you," he choked out.   
  
Usagi tightened noticeably. How dare he use the word unfaithful in her presence? Didn't he know how hard it was to play this game, especially with these new rules guiding her that she did not understand? That brought her attention back to Ryan. He was coming home tomorrow morning. Shit. Her thoughts blazed quickly through her mind. A second everything was perfect, why did he have to drag her back into the harsh light of reality?  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked annoyed.   
  
"I have not given myself fully to you. A part of me secretly still loved another as I gave my entire body physically to you," he whispered, entwining his fingers with hers.  
  
Usagi felt a jealousy and selfishness rise up within her. There was an unknown emotion there, a feeling that hinted it was wrong if Endymion shared himself with anyone else but her.   
  
"Don't make that face bella, I know you can't do that right now, but I can wait. Right now though, I want to be there entirely for you, for us," he said.  
  
Usagi smiled at his passions and ideals.  
  
"I like it when you use some Italian," she replied hoarsely.  
  
"I'll teach it to you," he smiled.  
  
"I'd like that," she breathed.   
  
"I want all of you, Endymion," she said softly but firmly.   
  
"Can I trust you not to break me, because if I give you the whole, you just don't break a piece, you break me," he said, pleading in his eyes.  
  
"What is a relationship without trust?" she replied, a strange smile appearing on her face at hearing her own hypocritical words.   
  
Endymion unfolded the paper once again and handed it to Usagi. Usagi gasped inaudibly as her fingers brushed against a faded scar on Endymion's wrist as she reached for the letter. Endymion looked quickly away, ashamed. The curvy writing was hard to decipher for many letters were blurred from obvious tear stains and the paper was quite worn from being handled by human hands. She read the words out loud softly. The richness of their tone felt good on her tongue.  
  
Don't hold yourself like that  
  
You'll hurt your knees  
  
I kissed your mouth and back  
  
But that's all I need  
  
Don't build your world around volcanoes melt you down  
  
What I am to you is not real  
  
What I am to you, you do not need  
  
What I am to you is not what you mean to me  
  
You give me miles and miles of mountains  
  
And I'll ask for the sea  
  
Don't throw yourself like that  
  
In front of me  
  
I kissed your mouth your back  
  
Is that all you need?  
  
You said:  
  
"Don't drag my love around volcanoes melt me down"  
  
What I am to you is not real  
  
What I am to you, you do not need  
  
What I am to you is not what you mean to me  
  
You give me miles and miles of mountains  
  
And I'll ask for what I give to you  
  
Is just what I'm going through  
  
This is nothing new  
  
No no just another phase of finding what I really need  
  
Is what makes me bleed  
  
And like a new disease he's still too young to treat  
  
Volcanoes melt you down  
  
He's still too young  
  
I kissed your mouth  
  
You do not need me  
  
She realized at once that it was a poem, and that it fit perfectly to the rhythm of the song Endymion had wrote for Monique.   
  
"This is the letter that she left you before she went away, isn't it?" she asked gently.  
  
"D-Do y-you know what's like for somebody to tell you that you don't love them. How the fuck could they know how you're feeling," Endymion said, his voice shaking.  
  
"Believe it or not, I do..." she trailed off, thinking of the multiple times Ryan accused her of not loving him.   
  
***FLASHBACK***  
  
"Darling, I was merely telling the poor man where the bathroom was, he was in dire need of the facilities," Usagi said sweetly as she sat down in front of the vanity, removing her large diamond earrings.  
  
"Those banquets are for the company to gain new clients, not another excuse for you to un-ashamedly flaunt yourself in front of a room full of people," Ryan bit back harshly.   
  
Usagi winced at his calm tone, with rage rippling underneath. He never yelled, no, he just used that infuriatingly condescending tone that felt like a whip upon her back.   
  
"I was just telling him where the bathroom was, love," she giggled nervously.   
  
"Why so you could meet him there, you cheap whore," he asked softly.   
  
Usagi stared at her reflection, at loss for what to say.   
  
"Of course not, I love you, you know that," she said, a note of pleading creeping into her voice.   
  
"If you loved me, you wouldn't make a fool of me by throwing yourself at whatever has a dick and walks upright," he said coldly, grabbing her arm roughly and pulling her up against him.   
  
"Oww, you're hurting me," she whimpered.   
  
"How can you stand there and lie in front of me wench! You say you love me dearest wife, then show me, show me how much you love me," he sneered, fake sweetness mixed with anger in his voice.   
  
She sniveled softly as he pressed on her head firmly, pushing her down upon her knees. She closed her eyes and wet her lips anxiously as she heard the sound of a zipper being undone and the soft ruffle of pants as they pooled around his feet.   
  
***END FLASHBACK***   
  
Endymion held the paper up so it was eye-level, and then took a match that he had been gripping firmly in his hand. He struck it against the bedside table with a whoosh. He and Usagi looked at the flickering of the flame, mesmerized for a moment, until he drew it close to the aged paper.   
  
They watched in silence as the writing was engulfed in flame. The fire reached a passionate peak, and then dissolved. Nothing was left except a few burned scraps of memories and ashes.  
  
Endymion buried his head into Usagi's chest.   
  
"It's okay," she repeated soothingly, rubbing in a circular motion on his upper back, and gripping the hair by the nape of his neck occasionally.   
  
Endymion snuggled closer to her, his tender nuzzles turning into kisses. She moaned as Endymion ran his tongue over her sensitive flesh. Before long Endymion had her hands pinned behind her head, his kisses brutal against her mouth. She opened her legs willingly to him as he plunged inside her.   
  
His thrusts were rapid and demanding, but she matched every stroke with her bucking hips.   
  
"Tu hai tutto posso dare," came his strangled moan as her inner walls tightened in an orgasm around him.   
  
He did not know, nor could she tell him, that he was once again building his world around a very active volcano.  
  
  
  
Usagi rolled around and stretched luxuriously as she turned around and faced the clock.   
  
"Mmm, Usako, don't leave," Endymion murmured as he wrapped his warm arms around her, drawing her close to his chest.   
  
"Oh my God! I'm supposed to meet the girls in a half-an-hour!" she cried as she jumped out of bed.   
  
Endymion smiled as her nude form darted around the room, frantically looking for her now wrinkled clothing from the night before.   
  
"Why couldn't you have just woken me up or have left me alone? When you walked in I was already awake. But no! You had to be your sexy infuriating self, and make me..." Usagi trailed off as she stared at his brutally handsome face, a lovely smile lighting it up.  
  
"Feel so amazing," she finished.   
  
He got up, and wrapped his arms around her stomach, their bare bodies touching. She giggled as he placed butterfly kisses along her neck.   
  
"No..No..no Endymion!" she said more firmly, as turned around and pressed her small palms against the large expanse of his chest.   
  
"I really have to go."  
  
"Ugh, I can't wear these, now I have to go home and change!" she exclaimed in disgust, holding a ball of fabric that used to be a very nice Versace blouse and skirt.   
  
"Here," Endymion said, tossing her a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.  
  
She grumbled almost inaudibly as she scrambled into his clothing; however, he could pick up a few words such as "unbelievable" and "looking like a dyke."  
  
"I'm really sorry just to run but," she said helplessly as slipped on a pair shoes.  
  
"Will I see you today?" he asked hopefully.   
  
"Haven't you had enough, we did it all night and for the better part of the morning," she said silkily as she traced her fingernails across his chest.   
  
Endymion grabbed her hand in mid stroke, and lifted it away from him.   
  
"Is that all you think we do? Have sex? I would like to spend some time with you when I can actually make out what you're saying besides "Endy" or "God" or "harder."  
  
"Of course," Usagi smiled.   
  
"I'll try, but you know you do have to share me," she giggled.   
  
Endymion's face turned cold for a moment.   
  
She gasped inwardly as the impact of what she had just said dawned on her..  
  
"With my friends I mean," she finished lamely.  
  
"Of course," he replied coldly.   
  
"Well maybe I'll see you later today," she said quickly as walked out of his apartment.   
  
"What have I gotten myself into," she wondered. But inside she knew that she could never let Endymion go. She could no longer turn back.  
  
Endymion looked at the clock and cursed under his breath. He was going to be late for work. But God, Usagi looked so lovely lying there; he just had to take her again. He sighed. He had hoped that they would have ended on a better note though. He turned the knobs in the shower all the way to hot as he enjoyed the burning sensation of the water against his skin. He flicked the shower-radio on and soon the soft melodies and rhythms rose above the humming of the water. A smile spread across Endymion's face as the familiar words came to his mind:  
  
"He's the one who likes all the pretty songs  
  
And he likes to sing along  
  
And he likes to shoot his gun  
  
But he knows not what it means  
  
Bruises on the fruit   
  
Tender age in bloom"  
  
Endymion sang along softly, the water forming tiny rivulets as they ran down developed abs. A reminiscent look crossed his features as he thought about the many times he and Motoki had blared this song while sitting in his room back in Italy. Whenever they did anything stupid, like the time they got totally jacked up on crack one bored summer evening, they would just sing those words to each other, and that would explain everything. They were young, and everything was through rose tinted glasses, and the whole time they really had no idea what the world was about. Endymion snorted sarcastically as thoughts of Ryan entered his mind. He didn't think those six simple lines would make him forgive and forget.   
  
"Oh well," he thought. He'd just take it a day at a time.   
  
"Yeah and I've only got one day left," he added grimly.  
  
Rei scanned the tables outside Il Café Centro; however, no familiar face caught her eye. She checked her watch. She was seven minutes early. She hastily checked her reflection in the window and sauntered inside to see if Endymion was working.   
  
"What are you so happy about?" Motoki asked with a grin as a placed an order with the cook.   
  
"If you must know, I slept with Usagi last night, and it was absolutely amazing," Endymion replied smugly.   
  
Motoki froze and tightened in response.  
  
"You fucking moron. Are you out of your fucking mind?! Ryan's going to massacre you!" he shouted.  
  
"I may have been afraid of a lot of things, but death is one thing that I'm not fearful of. Besides, Ryan can't wreck my career, you can't destroy talent," Endymion added coldly.  
  
Motoki shook his head in disgust.   
  
"I love Usagi, and Usagi loves me," he exclaimed.   
  
"She loves you, did she say that?" Motoki asked incredulously.   
  
"Yes... well no..not exactly...b-but she implied it!" Endymion finished, regaining his composure.   
  
"Oh she loves you? Tell me something Endymion, does she love you like Gianna loved you? Does she? Oh, or how about Monique? Does she love you like Monique loved you? Huh? Does she love you like fucking Monique..." Motoki spouted cruelly; however his taunting was cut short as Endymion's fist came in contact with his face.  
  
Motoki stumbled backwards, his hand over his nose. When he removed his hand, a small river of crimson was cascading down his chin. Endymion stared at his best friend, white-faced and appalled at what he just did. Motoki lunged at him, pinning Endymion against the counter. Endymion gritted his teeth in pain as the sharp surface bit into his back. Motoki raised his fist, but slowly let it fall to his side as he realized that Endymion was not going to fight back. He stared into his friend's midnight eyes for a moment before walking away, a look of almost pity adorning his features. Endymion lowered his head and stared at the ground for a few seconds; however, he lifted it back up in time to see a pair of violet eyes, laced with hurt, reflected in the pan in front of him.  
  
"You know she's actually doing better, which is quite a relief for all of us. We were so worried after Chad died, we didn't think she would ever be back to normal. She would just snap at everything and be most unpleasant and moody. She seems so much happier, she's even writing again. I personally have no idea what bought about this change in her, but I'm not going to question a blessing," Rei could hear Ami conversing with Mina quietly as she neared the table.   
  
Rei's eyes burned with unshed tears as she took a seat across the table..  
  
"Hmm... Usagi's not here yet, that's a surprise," Rei announced sarcastically.   
  
Mina gave Ami a questioning look, but Ami just smiled.  
  
"So how's the book coming along?" Ami bristled.   
  
Rei was about to reply when a loud shout stopped in her mid-sentence.  
  
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" the manager demanded as Motoki stormed out of the restaurant.  
  
"You can take this fucking job, and shove it up your ass! I'm done. Finisco!" he bellowed, throwing his uniform shirt at him.  
  
Endymion followed Motoki out of the restaurant, but stopped dead in his tracks. Motoki only spoke in Italian when he was seriously pissed.  
  
"Oh fuck..." he whispered.   
  
"I shouldn't be working in this god-forsaken rat-trap you call a restaurant! I'm sick and fucking tired of playing by everybody else's rules. Finisco!" Motoki continued his ranting as he frantically took a wipe at his still bleeding nose.   
  
"He's right," Endymion thought to himself. He was tired of playing by everybody else's rules.   
  
"That makes two of us," Endymion said proudly, as he shoved his uniform shirt into the manager's chest.   
  
Motoki and he both stormed off; however, as the road split into two paths at the intersection, they each took a different direction.  
  
"What was that all about?" Usagi questioned as she flipped back her golden hair and took a seat across from Rei, tilting her head towards the spot where the heated scene just took place.  
  
Rei threw her any angry glance.  
  
"Hmm, I don't know. Endymion seems a little off. Trouble just seems to follow him around like a dark cloud," Ami noted softly.   
  
"Yes well, I think a lot of people bring the rain upon themselves," Rei whispered venomously, in a failed attempt to sound nonchalant.  
  
Usagi stole a glance at her anxiously.  
  
"So Rei, tell us about the novel," Ami chirped in, nervous to change the topic.  
  
"Why is everyone so fucking nosy, the book's coming on fine, if you want to know about it, splurge a little and spend twenty dollars when it comes out," she bit out.   
  
They all exchanged looks and settled into an uncomfortable silence.   
  
"Besides, it was going to have a happy ending, but not anymore. I decided that this one is going to be realistic," she added softly.   
  
"Don't be so bitter Rei! Lots of love stories have happy endings!" Mina exclaimed.  
  
"Hmph, I am toying around with an idea of a sex-deprived woman, finding happiness in a frivolous affair, but it was even too naïve for me, so I might work that in, as an unhappy ending of course. And speaking about failures, why were you late. It's quite rude you know, to keep people waiting," she whispered dangerously low.  
  
Usagi stared at Rei aghast. She knew. She knew. She knew.  
  
"I'm sorry, I just lost track of time," Usagi replied, trying to keep her voice even.  
  
"I apologize for keeping you waiting, but I'm really just so involved with life. I never realized what a beautiful world it was," she breathed.   
  
"And while we're on the topic of new life, how's the baby Ami?" Usagi asked enthusiastically.   
  
The rest of the conversation was dedicated to the joyful babbling that only the prospect of a new baby can bring.  
  
Endymion flopped upon his bed, staring at the blank ceiling. Things were fucked up all right. He just lost his best friend, again, and he hadn't practiced for awhile. Shit. His concert, the only reason he was in this god-forsaken city, was in a week. He sighed. Why couldn't he have the girl and his best friend? But he was not going to let Motoki go, not because of a girl, as he had done so many times in the past. He placed his hands over his face, and groaned. He would deal with Usagi and Rei later, but first he had to make peace with a more important person...  
  
Endymion walked into the building, his footsteps echoing softly, disturbing the sacred peace and dusty pews. He slipped into a front pew, and gazed upward, the pain-stricken face of Christ on a cross stared back at him. He breathed in shakily, the incense tainted air causing a scratch in the back of his throat. The rustle of clothing to the side of the quiet church caught his attention and sent his nerves on end.   
  
"Can I help you, or are you just here for the healing presence of the Lord," the elderly priest asked the handsome man with the wind-swept ebony hair.   
  
"Father, I'm here to make peace," came his raspy voice.  
  
"I've done some things I'm not proud of, and I'm sure I'll spend some time in purgatory for my sins, but it's better than the eternal fire, right?" Endymion asked with a slight smile.   
  
"If you're truly sorry, you'll see the face of God right away," he replied.   
  
"But I'm sinning now Father, and I am fully conscious of my decision, that's a severe break from God, but even though it is forbidden in the Scriptures, I believe that I am doing the right thing. Is that wrong of me," he asked a note of almost pleading in his voice.   
  
"Are you Confirmed?" the priest asked cautiously.   
  
"Yes, Endymion Alexander Sebastion Shields, but what does that have to do with anything" he replied perplexed.  
  
"If the breath of the Lord moves inside you and gives you this guidance, then I believe that you are following the will of Christ," he said.   
  
"Yeah, well the Spirit is sure picking a funny time to show itself. I could've used its guidance a lot sooner," he replied, a note of bitterness resounding in his words.  
  
Endymion took a deep breath and shakily started:  
  
"Father, I have sinned against the church and God. With reckless decisions I caused the death of a beautiful young girl, bought about the death of unborn life by creating it in the first place, destroyed the lives of my Aunt and Uncle, forced the woman I loved into selling herself, and toyed with the emotions of a fragile soul," he choked on his words, burning tears forming in the corner of his eyes.   
  
The priest stared at the dark-haired man, with stormy eyes. The seconds ticked by in silence.  
  
"I absolve you of these sins, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit," he said softly making the sign of the cross above Endymion's bent head.  
  
Endymion exhaled slowly, a weight that he did not realize was so heavy slipped off his chest. He had missed the amazing feeling of being forgiven unconditionally. He had almost mentioned Usagi, but had decided against it. He was not going to ask for clemency concerning her, for he did not regret a single moment spent in her presence. He smiled, it was a new day.  
  
He placed his sweaty palms together, and began his penance, the forgotten words tumbling from his lips:  
  
"Padre nostro, che seri nei cieli...."  
  
Motoki walked grumpily towards his apartment, tossing his empty scotch glass rather carelessly unto the table. He was not in the mood for any visitors. He was half-drunk, pissed as hell, and feeling the after effect of regrets from his rash decision.   
  
"Yeah," he said miserably pulling the door open.   
  
His throat tightened as old memories swirled within his chest.   
  
At that moment, as Endymion stood leaning against the door frame, with dark hair like wet raven feathers clinging to his forehead, and a devil may care smile tugging at his lips, he looked just as he used to when Motoki would knock on his door, and he would come jetting out, the warm summer air pleasant upon their faces.  
  
"What the hell do you want? To chastise me on how I could not afford the decision I just made, or to rub in my face that you fucked Usagi, and defied Ryan as I never could," Motoki demanded bitterly.  
  
Endymion smiled and shifted his weight.  
  
"He's the one who likes all the pretty songs. And he likes to sing along. And he likes to shoot his gun. But he knows not what it means. Bruises on the fruit. Tender age in bloom," he sang softly, an apologetic look swimming in his eyes.  
  
"We're not teenagers anymore Endymion," Motoki tried to explain exasperated.  
  
"I think everyone should look at the world through the eyes of child. And anyone who thinks they cannot make mistakes based on lack of experience is a fool," Endymion replied swiftly.  
  
Motoki gaped at him, and shook his head.  
  
"Haven't you figured it out yet, you're supposed to be some fucking genius violin prodigy?! I care about Usagi a lot actually, but when it comes to her love life, as long as it's not violent, it's really none of my damn business. I was jealous. Not of the fact you banged Usa, I love Rita. I was jealous that you did not let Ryan control your life and dictate your dreams. Well I'm done laying down. I'm going to open the best restaurant this goddamn city has ever seen, and if Ryan doesn't like it, he can suck my dick, because I don't really give a shit," Motoki said more loudly than usual in his drunken stupor.  
  
"So we're friends again," Endymion laughed.  
  
"Always," he replied.   
  
Rei sat quietly, staring into the dancing flames of her fireplace. She wished she could become the flames, just be consumed, until all the pain, all the emotion, just melted together and turned to ash. She took a slow sip from her wine glass, the alcohol doing little to soothe her broken spirit.   
  
"Why does everything have to be so hard? Why must every man I love be taken from me?" she said quietly in a flat voice.  
  
"God Chad, I miss you so much," her voice broke as she bit her bottom lip, constraining the tears.   
  
A gentle knock on the door awoke her from her reverie.   
  
"Yes," she said softly as she opened the door, pulling her red silk bathrobe tighter around her shoulders.   
  
"Hey," said a hoarse masculine voice.  
  
"Come in Endymion," she sighed, moving out of the way to grant him access to her modest home.  
  
Usagi paced around her spacious bedroom. Back and forth. Back and forth. She sighed angrily. How could she go from feeling so good, to feeling so shitty. But she was furious with herself more than anything. She was slipping too far. She was willing to sacrifice her friends, her husband, and her life, for a man she had only known a few weeks. She used to be in control, but now things were unraveling...fast. She whipped around and faced herself in the mirror; an ashen and anxious face stared back at her.   
  
"Get yourself together," she commanded coldly.   
  
"Endymion I don't know why you're here. Trust me, you don't have to apologize for anything," Rei said wearily as she sat down on the couch, motioning him to take a seat a next to her.   
  
"I know, it's just that," he trailed off as he admired her image in the firelight.   
  
Her raven hair lay sprawled across her back, a contrast to her porcelain skin. Her low cut bathrobe revealed ample cleavage and clung seductively to her hips. Endymion shifted uncomfortably. His eyes wandered back up to her face, as he watched the flickering of the flames toss shadows upon her cheek bones. He immediately lost his arousal, however, as he realized the pain reflected in her violet eyes. He knew if he wanted to he could have Rei. But he knew it would just be a lie, for both of them. He needed release, and she needed to be loved. At that moment, he swore to God that he would find her happiness. He had much to pay for.  
  
"I actually came over to tell you that I talked to that publisher that I was speaking to you about. He said that he could meet with you tomorrow afternoon. I can give you his cell phone number if you wish. His name is Jedite Lomack."  
  
Usagi laid on her bed, allowing the darkness to consume her. She listened to her steady breathing fill the quiet room. She put a hand to her head, trying to force the haunting images from her mind, but whenever she closed her eyes, she saw him. The way his firm muscles contorted underneath her touch as he moved in and out, in and out. The way his bangs would fall over his eyes and how his beautiful mouth would whisper words of undying devotion. She let out a strangled moan. She knew that Rei loved him, and she felt so selfish for denying her friend that. It would be different if she loved him, but of course she didn't. She loved Ryan. And Ryan loved her. Ryan loved her. She didn't really know what she was doing with Endymion. And there in the dark of the quiet bedroom she shared with her husband, the answer came to her. She held on to Endymion for the same reasons she continued to hold on to the secrets which she kept closed to her heart, and behind locked doors.   
  
Usagi looked at the clock, as she continued to lie there, letting the evening hours slip into the darkness of night. She did not wish to fall asleep, nor did she particularly want to stay awake. She let out a frustrated sigh, and squirmed within the satin sheets. She remained still for a few moments, her face pensive with thought, until she gave into the internal battle, and let her hand slither between the warmness of her legs. She licked her lips as she got a steady rhythm going. BRRIING. Her hand flew out from in between her, and she looked wildly around, as her heart beat frantically in her chest. BRRIING. The phone once again sliced through the quiet of the house. She let out a shaky sigh of relief as she reached for the receiver.   
  
"God that man must have a sixth sense, he always calls when I'm doing something he doesn't approve of," she cursed underneath her breath as she prepared herself for another talk with her husband.  
  
"Hello," she said, hopefully in a casual voice.  
  
"Hey," replied a husky, masculine voice.  
  
"Endymion! I wasn't expecting to hear from you, especially after this morning, what happened at the café," she bubbled, as she ran a hand through her silky mane.   
  
"Hey, can you meet me at the bridge in the park, in about 10 minutes?" he asked calmly.  
  
"Umm...but it's.." she began, but was quickly cut off.  
  
"Only ten, we are relatively young," his deep voice resounded in her ears and in her heart.  
  
A small smile spread across her lips as she remembered those same words he spoke to her just a couple weeks ago. It seemed so long ago...  
  
Usagi once again stared at her reflection. She knew she shouldn't go. She should just cut her losses. But she couldn't. She couldn't let all of her spirit and dreams die.   
  
"I'll be there soon..." she whispered softly.  
  
Endymion threw on a coat and cursed beneath his breath. This was it. There was only one more person left to make peace with it. He grabbed his keys and walked resolutely towards the door.  
  
Usagi walked at a brisk pace. The park was about a one and a half mile walk from her house, but she didn't feel like driving. Besides Endymion lived about twenty-minutes away, it would take him a little while to get there. She looked at the happy couples holding hands, laughing, stealing kisses and glimpses of one another. She wiped furiously at her eyes. She and Endymion could never be like that. They could never walk hand in hand in the bright sunlight or under the glowing streetlights. They would always be in fear that someone would see, see and tell Ryan. And Ryan could never know. This was it. She was calling it off. Ryan was right when he said that she was selfish and unrealistic. Ryan was so good for keeping her and taking care of her. So good. Endymion deserved better than her, Endymion deserved someone who he could be proud of and take places without fear of confrontation. He deserved someone who could love him. As she neared the park, she practiced how the words would feel on her lips.  
  
"Goodbye Endymion," she breathed.  
  
As Usagi neared the bridge she saw the strong outline of Endymion on the other side, his hands in his pockets, doing almost a little jig to fend of the cold night air. Her face lit up in a smile as she watched him, and her small laugh caused him to stop. Even from across the bridge, she could see the embarrassed expression gracing his features. They stared at each other for a few moments, both unwilling to move.   
  
"I will not go to her," Endymion repeated silently to himself.   
  
He could no longer survive in this one sided relationship. He did not want a lover that was invisible to the rest of the world, one that only revealed herself to him behind locked doors or beneath the covers. She had to be willingly to compromise, to meet him halfway.  
  
Usagi stared at Endymion, willingly him to move.  
  
"I will not go to him," she repeated silently to herself.   
  
She could not show him that she needed him. He needed to know that this was all on him, and she just had the good will to let him carry on. This relationship was his doing, not hers.  
  
Endymion let out a sigh of resignation as he realized that she was not going to move. And his cheeks burned with shame as he took his steps, his face downward. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fight it. He was going to be strong, he was going to be manly, and he was going to be in control. He had to suppress a cynical laugh. He was love's bitch once again, and she knew it. He would once again be there to the bitter end, abandoning his God, his career, and his friends, all for her. All because he loved her. However, he stopped suddenly about halfway across the bridge as he slammed into something soft. He looked up to see Usagi's bright blue eyes shining back at him. He opened his mouth, but she placed a finger upon his lips, urging him to be silent. Words were not needed. She replaced her finger with her lips, and the couple kissed in the middle of the bridge, concealed in the darkness. Invisible to the world.  
  
  
  
"No, just park it on the street," Usagi giggled, as Endymion swiftly pulled up alongside the curb.   
  
"What will the neighbors think?" he joked, flashing a flirtatious smile.  
  
"Let them talk," she smiled, flipping back her golden hair.   
  
He smiled.   
  
Usagi opened the door, and Endymion whistled in amazement as he followed her into the spacious foyer.   
  
"Holy shit," he murmured as he took in the chandelier and cathedral ceilings.  
  
"Yeah, well Ryan's a pretty good businessman," she responded to his admiration.  
  
"Hmph, I know," he whispered in reply.   
  
Usagi quirked an eyebrow before slowly ascending the winding staircase.   
  
Endymion followed her up in anticipation, two steps at a time. However, he noticed how the hallway leading to the master bedroom groaned under his step, and how the door creaked as he slowly pushed it open, almost as if in protest to the presence and touch of another man inside the house.   
  
Usagi stood before him, slowly unbuttoning her blouse to reveal her breasts straining against the material of her bra.   
  
She slid unto the bed; he could see her chest moving up and down quickly. He took a quick scan of the room, noting the impeccable taste in decorating. His gaze lingered on a portrait of Ryan and Usagi, obviously when Usagi was much younger; her eyes held the more hopeful and un-jaded look of youth. Finally his eyes rested once again on Usagi, as she laid there, her jeans unbuttoned to reveal a glimpse of pink panties. This was the ultimate betrayal. To take another man's wife between his own covers was the highest perfidy.   
  
"As long as you're in love, you can do no wrong," he smiled to himself, and he stalked over to Usagi.   
  
He captured her mouth, slowly tasting her; however, she wrapped her legs around him and deepened the kiss, demanding all of him. He trailed kisses down her neck and on the curve of her voluptuous breasts, but she moaned in protest. She tangled her hand in the mess of his black hair and pulled his face to her.   
  
"I need you," she breathed, urgency written in her eyes.   
  
His mouth once again came roughly down upon hers, as he searched blindly for a rubber through the pockets of his discarded pants lying beside them..   
  
"Hmm...Endymion don't worry about," she cooed as she turned his face towards her, placing hot kisses along his jaw bone, and grinding her wetness against his manhood.   
  
"Ah, Usagi..." he moaned, biting his lower lip, as her hips continued their wicked administrations against his groin.   
  
She looked straight into his eyes.   
  
"Endymion, I'm a virgin to you. I've never really felt a man inside me, there's always been rubber separating us. Don't you want to touch, don't you want to feel what no man has ever felt before?" she asked seductively between kisses, arching up to him, and continuing the steady rocking of her pelvis.   
  
"Oh God," he murmured, closing his eyes and enjoying the sensation of the friction she was creating between them.   
  
"I'm sorry Usako, I can't," he said, finally grasping hold of the elusive condom.   
  
"Why not? Don't you want to be more intimate with me than any man has ever been?" she demanded.   
  
"It's not that Usako, honest, but what if you get pregnant?" he replied exasperated.  
  
"Don't you want children?" she asked incredulously.   
  
"Of course, but not now, not like this," he whispered.   
  
She studied his handsome face and groaned inwardly. He was right. As much as she hated to admit it, he was right.   
  
She gingerly took the condom from between his fingertips and rolled it unto his very hard dick.   
  
"You're right," she whispered, softly brushing her lips against his..   
  
"Now fuck," she breathed.  
  
A sinful smirk tugged at his mouth as he plunged deeply inside her. The sounds of their strangled moans and the intense banging of the headboard echoed throughout the large house.  
  
"Where have you been all day," Kunzite growled as he pulled Mina close to him the minute she walked through the door.   
  
"I was with the girls for lunch, and then I did a little shopping," she giggled as he placed warm kisses on her neck.   
  
"Mmm, so how are they?" he asked as he continued his ministrations on the soft flesh of her neck.   
  
"No wonder Rei stayed here after Chad died, there's so much inspiration.. I swear to God, it's like a soap opera every day," she said, catching his head and capturing his mouth with a kiss.   
  
"Well I have something that will make the plot thicken. I got a very interesting and surprising phone call today..."  
  
"Oh my," Usagi said, trying to suppress a giggle as she picked up a picture of Ryan and her which fell off the wall during their love making.  
  
"I think we might have gotten a little carried away," he whistled as he surveyed the damage done to the wall behind the head board.   
  
"Oh well, I don't think he'll notice," she replied.  
  
'But look at that crack," he motioned to a steady line going up the wall.  
  
Usagi gave him a devilish smile before slipping her fingers between the crack and flinging it open.   
  
"Oh my God..." he murmured as he stared at a room the size of a large closet.   
  
There was what looked like empty shoe boxes stacked up to the top. There was only enough room in the closet for about one person to stand, rather uncomfortably.   
  
"The builders of the house put it in for storage; I guess they thought two walk-in closets weren't enough. Anyway, since Ryan's never home, he doesn't even know about it," she whispered as though Ryan would be able to hear her if she spoke any louder.  
  
"What's in all the boxes," he asked surveying them suspiciously.   
  
Usagi stood up on her tip-toes and tentatively took down a box. She placed it on the bed, and motioned for Endymion to sit down next to her.   
  
"I've never shown these to anyone before, so please don't be harsh," she said, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear.  
  
"Usagi, these are brilliant!" he exclaimed as he fingered through the multiple designs.   
  
"I never knew you had such talent."  
  
"Yeah, well Ryan doesn't seem to think so," she replied glumly.   
  
"Why aren't you an interior designer?" he asked incredulously.   
  
"Ha! I wouldn't make it one day, Ryan's right. At least he did let me decorate the house, that was so good of him," she said, almost more to herself.   
  
"Why the hell do you sit behind a desk all day, doing nothing really?" he asked.  
  
"Because Ryan saw how bored I was at home all day, so he gave me a job as a secretary at his office. Well they say I'm a partner, but that's a load of bullshit. Ryan just said that to make me feel better. But at least I have something to occupy my time," she explained.  
  
"Or another way for Ryan to keep an eye on you," he replied disgusted..   
  
"God gave you a talent, and you're sitting there wasting it. I thought you knew better than that," he said vehemently.  
  
"I mean look at these, how could anyone make you believe that these aren't good?" he demanded quickly scanning through the multiple pages.   
  
However, he stopped short as he noticed a common theme in the pictures she had shown him. They were all obviously designs for a baby's or child's room. He raised his head slowly and gave Usagi a questioning look. She blushed and turned away.   
  
"Here, I can show you the room those designs were for, then you really get the complete picture," she said softly, leading the way out of the bedroom.   
  
They came to a room at the end of the wall. Endymion looked inside and found it to be completely bare and white.  
  
"Well, it does need some color," he said with a smile.  
  
"This is the only room Ryan wouldn't let turn into a guest room. I guess he gave me hope that there could once be a cradle in there," she said, her words broken as she lifted a hand to her mouth in an attempt to prevent the tears.   
  
Endymion motioned to comfort her, but she batted him away.   
  
"Besides, it doesn't matter now. I've decided to turn it into a library," she said, somewhat regaining her composure.   
  
Endymion stared at her for a few moments, at the intense longing in her eyes.   
  
And suddenly it all became clear as Ryan's word echoed in his mind: "Don't talk of things which you don't understand."  
  
Endymion thought it was rather odd that Ryan would be so paranoid about Usagi's faithfulness, but he wasn't worried about her being attracted to another man, he was concerned about how far Usagi would go to get pregnant. And as he continued to stare at Usagi, who was obviously somewhere far, far away within the corner of her mind, he questioned everything he had sacrificed for her. Maybe she didn't love him at all.... all she wanted was a baby. He closed his eyes, and forced himself to believe that it wasn't true. It couldn't be true, for if indeed it was, Ryan had won.  
  
"It's past midnight Usako, I guess I should get going," he said.   
  
"But Endy, aren't you hungry...you must have worked up an appetite," she giggled, pulling him back into the bed with her.   
  
After she had shown him the room, they decided to move back to more pleasurable things.   
  
"I think I've eaten plenty," he replied huskily, slowly stroking her must sensitive area.   
  
Usagi blushed bright red in response.   
  
"I guess I'll see you to-," but he stopped in mid-sentence.   
  
Ryan was going to be home tomorrow.   
  
"I'm sure he'll have some business to attend to," she replied nonchalantly, as she threw on some clothes and went downstairs.   
  
Endymion finished zippering up his pants and followed her.   
  
"Here," she said placing a key in a hanging flower basket on the porch.   
  
They looked at each other in silence for a few moments.  
  
"You have the key Endymion. You've unlocked all the secrets about me. However, don't hurt me by forcing the door, I need time," she whispered.   
  
He gave her a quick kiss before heading towards his SUV.   
  
"I love you Usagi," he called to her.   
  
"I know," she smiled.  
  
Usagi walked light-hearted back into the house, but her heart jumped to her throat as the violent ring of the phone sliced through the quiet.   
  
"Hello," she said shakily.  
  
"Hey baby."  
  
"Oh Ryan, I can't wait to see you tomorrow," she said in an attempt to be enthusiastic.   
  
"I know baby, but I'm going to be later than planned. My flight got cancelled, so I'll have to take the afternoon flight. But I'll be home in the evening," he said.   
  
"Oh, okay," she replied, trying to sound disappointed.   
  
"Well you better get some sleep sweetheart, you're not going to get any tomorrow night," he finished huskily.   
  
"I love you," she said softly.  
  
"Bye."  
  
Usagi placed the phone back down. She did not know why the thought of Ryan's hands upon her suddenly gave her a nauseous feeling. She stared at the rumpled bed sheets, and felt the place where Endymion had laid just a few moments ago. It was still warm and smelled of roses and cinnamon. She began to cry. But they were different from the tears that were often shed from missing her husband and feeling unloved, the walls could tell the difference. These were tears of the most intense pain, brought on by the realization that you must let go someone you truly loved.  
  
Ryan raised his glass to his lips, as he gave a seductive smirk to the reason his flight was "cancelled": a slim brunette who was waiting in the hotel lobby. He was going to give a certain violinist a call tomorrow. He knew Endymion thought him idiotic, but he knew that even if Usagi did end up having feelings for the musician, they would be instantly broken when the entire plan was revealed. Oh yes, he was going to tell Usagi, and let her feel ashamed. Everyone thinks that love is the only thing needed for a relationship to survive, but he knew better. It was not love, but trust.  
  
Endymion jetted up the steps to his apartment, whistling a familiar tune. Everything was perfect. Usagi would eventually leave Ryan and be with him, and they could live happily ever after. He could wait for her, he would always wait. However, he stopped his whistling in mid-note as he noticed the familiar form of a slender figure with raven hair, asleep outside his door.   
  
Wooh, that's done! Hoped you enjoyed. Okay, just a few after notes. The poem in the beginning is actually a song by Damien Rice called "Volcano." It has an awesome violin so you guys should listen to it! Also that saying, "...Tender age in bloom", well those are lyrics from the Nirvana song "In Bloom." Also, as you may have picked up Endymion is a Catholic, and I know you might be thinking that Catholicism is not that prominent in Japan, but I have to remind you that Endymion is from Italy originally. Also, I'm sorry about not reposting chapter 5, couldn't figure out how to fix it. If you have any questions about was has happened SO FAR just e-mail me and I'd be happy to answer your questions. Okay, just wanted to clear a few things up! Remember to review, review, review!   
  
~PinkMoonBeam 


	7. Part A: Familiar Circumstances

Hey! As you've probably realized from the title this is Part A. That means that it's going to be a little shorter than the rest of my chapters. Please read the end note at the end of chapter! It's important. Also this chapter is more sexual in nature, so please don't be offended. Actually most of the sex scenes are the contrast the emotional attachment between relationships. You'll understand at the end of the chapter! Thanks for all the reviews, even though I was a tad upset with the amount I received for the last chapter. Hope you enjoy!  
  
Thanks so much to my editor Meghan! You can thank her for the timeliness of my chapters!  
  
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SAILORMOON BUT THE PLOTLINE AND ALL ORGINIAL CHARACTERS CAME FROM MY OWN HEAD.  
  
WARNING  
  
RATED R FOR GRAPHIC SEXUAL SCENES, LANGUAGE, AND DRUG USE.  
  
Trust Between the Covers  
  
His heart jumped to his throat and he contemplated running right back down the stairs.   
  
"Please be Rei," he pleaded silently to himself.   
  
His mind tried to convince him that of course it was Rei, lonely and desperate. However, his heart knew better. His heart knew that only one girl had hair so desperately black, and a figure that slender.   
  
"Well, what better way to make peace than right to her face..." he sighed.  
  
Mina flipped back her golden hair and snuggled next to Kunzite, making tiny circles on his hard chest with her nails.   
  
"I don't really understand why she would come all the way here, especially just because of some old fling," Mina sighed, once again igniting the former conversation, which was dropped when more pleasurable activities emerged.   
  
"Endymion wasn't some fling," he replied, "It's a complicated story, and I don't know half of it. But I do know that if she's looking to rekindle an old flame, it isn't going to happen,"  
  
"And why's that. From the way you talk, he was desperately in love with her," she pointed out.   
  
"Well that was then, and this is now. Besides, Endymion is desperately in love with someone else, Usagi," he said with a smile.  
  
A satisfied smirk crossed Mina's features.  
  
"What are you so happy about, you look like the bird that just ate the canary," he joked, giving her a playful poke in the ribs.  
  
"I just enjoy the feeling of being absolutely right, especially when it comes to affairs of the heart," she replied matter-of-factly.   
  
"Hmm," he said with a quirked eyebrow.   
  
"And that's the feeling I get every moment spent with you," she whispered, propping herself up to allow herself access to his lips.   
  
Kunzite grabbed her hips and flipped her on top of him. His last thoughts before lust and love took over his senses was a wish that his friend could experience the same pure reciprocated love he did.   
  
"Why are you here?" Endymion demanded of the sleeping form.   
  
"I hate you. I hate you with your raven hair and crimson lips and porcelain skin. I hate the way you left me; I hate the way you used to dig your fingers in my shoulder when we fucked. Why must you still gnaw and chip away at my being? Why can't you just die?" he whispered.   
  
Her charcoal eyes fluttered open on his last word.   
  
"Darien," she breathed.   
  
He noticeably stiffened at the endearing term: my protector.   
  
"Why are you here," he once again demanded of her now conscious form.  
  
"I need my protector," she answered calmly.   
  
"It seems to me like you really didn't need anybody. I was just good enough until something better came along. Well here, look, I'll save you a few months. Here's fifty dollars, I'm sure you're find someone that'll promise you the world to fuck you," he spat, tossing the money upon her.   
  
Her dark eyes settled on him, a thousand emotions swimming in their depths.   
  
"I don't need your money," she replied softly.  
  
"Hmm, if my memory serves me correct, that's all you never needed, and you didn't care how low you sunk to get it," he said bitterly.  
  
At that comment she jumped to her feet.   
  
"I did that for you, you ungrateful bastard. Don't you dare throw that back in my face!' she shouted, her voice reverberating with rage.   
  
"I'm sorry, that was a low blow," he answered sincerely.   
  
"However, you still didn't answer my question adequately. Why the hell are you here?" he asked deliberately slowly.   
  
"Because like you that one spring night so long ago, I have no one else," she said, tilting her head to meet his eyes.   
  
"You never needed anyone except cocaine and comforting lies," he replied cruelly.   
  
"Darien, my mother lives out of her car, and all the money she manages to get goes to booze. The only family I've ever had disowns me because of what I said on the stand to defend you, for you. Kunzite no longer wants me around now that he has that blonde haired model floozy, and my art's not selling. You were right Endymion, I really have no talent, and I was chasing dreams. Wisps and shadows of dreams," she cried softly.   
  
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," Endymion said helplessly.  
  
"I'm sick Darien, I'm sick," she choked out. "I have no one but you."  
  
"I can't love you. I love someone else," he said simply.   
  
She looked ahead at only something she could see and nodded her beautiful head.   
  
"I know you wouldn't always love me, but some childish fancy always kept me hoping that even though I should remain unforgiven, you would extend your hand to me and give me another chance. But I knew Endymion, I knew you would have someone else," she said with a strange smile tugging at her pouty lips.   
  
"I'm not asking you to love me. Please just let me stay with you until I get back on my feet. If you so desire, our relationship will remain completely un-physical, and if so wish, non-existent," she explained truthfully.   
  
He gave her a questioning look.   
  
"Please," she begged, "You're all I have."  
  
Pity moved in his chest for her. She was there when no else was. He had to do the same for her. He opened the door for her.   
  
Usagi awoke early the next morning. The prospect of Ryan in the corner of mind. She had all day to spend with Endymion. She hopped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom, anticipating the look of surprise on Endymion's face when she showed up on his doorstep.   
  
"Usa, what are you doing here? I thought Ryan's flight was supposed to get in this morning," Endymion answered the door groggily.  
  
"Oh it got pushed back until the afternoon, so I thought I'd see you," she replied, gripping the fabric of his t-shirt and pulling her close to him.   
  
She walked backwards, leading him to the couch, but she jumped up in surprise as she made contact with something warm and soft.   
  
"What the hell?" Usagi whirled around. "Who is that, and why is she sleeping on your couch?!" she screeched.   
  
"Good gracious woman, calm down," Monique yawned as she brushed a raven strand away from her eyes.   
  
Usagi stopped mid-rant as she realized who it was. She was breathtaking, a gothic beauty. Silky black hair rested perfectly in layers against a porcelain face with high cheek bones and a prominent nose. Her eyes were that of a doe's and were covered with sooty lashes.   
  
"Usa, can we talk in the kitchen for a moment," Endymion said, steering her stiff form towards the kitchen.   
  
"Well this is just splendid," choked Usagi, "Talk about karma. I come to cheat on my husband and find my lover cheating on me. Maybe God really is trying to tell me something. It's okay Endymion really, I hope you're very happy together," Usagi tried her best to act indifferent while holding back her tears.   
  
"Usa," he growled in frustration as he grabbed her arm, preventing her from walking out the door. "Trust me, there's nothing going on between me and her. It's over. I know it took me a long time to put behind me, but that's exactly where it's saying. She going through a tough time and she really has no one. I owe her Usagi, my friendship, that's all," he said, looking straight into her bright blue eyes, so different than Monique's brown ones, but not any less beautiful.   
  
"I don't know why I'm supposed to believe you. I mean let's face it Endymion, you obviously don't have the most upstanding character if you're fucking around with me," she replied honestly.   
  
He gripped her shoulders tightly and forced her to look straight into his stormy eyes.   
  
"Don't you ever think that the circumstances of our relationship undermine my love for you? Do you understand?" he asked firmly.   
  
"Yes, I know," she answered reluctantly.   
  
"Come here," he motioned her into his bedroom.   
  
He picked up the smooth violin, and at the first note he played all of Usagi's anger slipped away. She listened to the beautiful melody, and she felt his love, his desire, his frustration, and pain. The music would reach an incredible peak, as if about to explode, but came back down again before it could do so.   
  
"Endymion, that was beautiful, was that for me?" she asked in an almost inaudible whisper when he finished.   
  
He set his violin down with great care and walked over to Usagi, getting behind her and wrapping his arms around her.   
  
"Could you hear what I was trying to tell you in the song? It's so much easier to reveal to through music than words," he said, his warm breath tickling her ear.   
  
"It seemed as if you wanted to scream your love to me to the entire world, but something held you back. I could hear the frustration in the music," she replied, choosing her words carefully.   
  
"I don't want to be your invisible lover Usagi. I want to be able to hold hands with you in the daylight, to be seen places with you," he said passionately.   
  
"I know Endymion, I know, all in time. But right now, you know my love for you, and that's all that matters," she said, reaching back to run a slender hand through his thick mane.   
  
She moaned as his mouth roughly came down upon hers, his hand gripping and tugging at her shirt. She arched up to him, allowing him to slip his hand between her legs. She wrapped her arm around his neck for support as she bucked against. She rode his hand for a few moments, until her body tightened and shuddered. She placed gentle kisses along his jawbone and neck, pushing him back onto the bed. She shimmied out of her pants and straddled him in just her bra and underwear.   
  
"Cute panties," Endymion smiled, toying with the pink fabric that had a white bunny on the butt.   
  
She leaned down to kiss him and purred as she felt his large hands rub against her hips then over her ass.   
  
With trembling fingers he reached for a condom from the bedside drawer. Usagi motioned to stop him, but hesitantly moved her hand away. She lowered herself upon him, and they once again began the familiar rhythm.   
  
Monique sat by the bedroom door quietly, biting her low lip. She pulled her knees close to her body as she tortured herself; listening to the sound of the man she loved making love to someone else.  
  
Endymion closed the door with a sigh after Usagi.   
  
"Shit," he cursed under his breath as he read the clock.   
  
He had to be at rehearsal at eleven. He scurried into the bathroom to take a quick a shower. He flung the bathroom door open and the sight in front of him made his jaw drop slightly in awe. Tiny beads of water clung to her wet skin, and her ebony hair was sleek against her elegant shoulders.   
  
Monique whipped around with a small noise of surprise and pulled a white terry towel around her nudity as her chocolate eyes locked with Endymion's. Slowly and deliberately she let the towel fall from her figure. He stared transfixed at her flaring hips and even though her ribs protruded slightly her breasts were still full and perky. Her dramatic collarbone brought attention to a graceful neck and feminine shoulders.   
  
"It's not as if this is something you've never seen," her sultry voice awoke him from his reverie.   
  
"I'm...I'm sorry," he stammered, realizing how obvious his staring must have been.   
  
"I see you have a shower radio. Clever. The shower can be such a lonely place. Nothing but blank walls with the pounding water and yourself in your most vulnerable state. Nothing is hidden and your thoughts are your only company. Can almost make you go crazy, can't it Darien?" she asked in a far away voice, her eyes flitting and resting momentarily on the scar gracing his wrist.   
  
"I just enjoy listening to music everywhere," he replied, slightly defensively.  
  
"Hmm...Sometimes it's good to be with your thoughts. They're always there waiting for you, you have to pay attention to them eventually," she said nonchalantly.  
  
"Well if you don't mind, I have to get a shower. I have rehearsal all day, I won't be back until evening," he said impatiently.  
  
"Well what's stopping you? It's not like I haven't seen it before," she said wickedly bending over to brush underneath her wet hair, providing Endymion with a spectacular view.   
  
Endymion just smiled as he lifted his shirt above his head.   
  
Monique smiled as she took another swipe with her paint brush. The landscape stretched out perfectly on the canvas, like a picture. She had always wanted to do portraits, but had failed in capturing the eyes. She could never capture the eyes. She turned away from her work; however, at the sound of the door to the apartment opened. A small smile tugged at her lips. She watched as Endymion flung himself on the couch. He sighed and spread out a perfect line of white powder on the table. He rolled the dollar bill with care before lowering his head.   
  
"What's wrong Darien?" she asked as she scrutinized her work, adding dabs occasionally in a vain attempt to add depth.   
  
He wiped his nose and laid his head back against the couch as her melancholy voice broke through the fog forming around his mind.  
  
"Do you know what day it is?" he asked softly.   
  
"I'm sorry, it escapes me," she replied airily as she turned her head to the side, her nose crunched with thought.   
  
"It's the day I killed Gianna," he murmured not bothering to sweeten up the fact.   
  
Monique laid her brush down, abandoning a lost cause as she knelt down by her lover.   
  
"No darling. It's the day that we started a new life together. Away from the families that never really cared about us, and the fair weather friends," she whispered wrapping her fingers in his ebony hair, making Endymion look at her.   
  
He tried to focus on her face, but the outline was blurry. His head lolled slightly as he concentrated on her lips as they formed their familiar words.   
  
"But you didn't leave," he said dully, the words burned into his subconscious.   
  
"No my dear Darien, I am here even though you did the unthinkable. I know how it feels to be unwanted, unloved. We're two of kind Darien, you can't change that," she breathed.  
  
He continued to watch her mouth....her beautiful, delicious mouth that brushed against his lips and wrapped around his dick. He smiled as he reached between her legs and played with her panty line.   
  
A seductive smirk graced her features as she realized which direction this was going. Endymion was an exceptional lover. She peeled off her tight black top allowing her bare breasts to bounce free. She pushed his back against the couch as she straddled him, riding him at a furious pace.   
  
"Oh God!" she moaned as he ran his hands up her stomach and clasped her breasts.   
  
She continued to buck against him, digging her nails into his shoulder for support. He managed a strangled groan as the intense feeling of pleasure mixed with pain washed over him. He moved his hands from her breasts and gripped her ass, impaling her further upon his manhood forcing her to move at an even quicker pace. She whimpered as his large hardness stretched her most sensitive area. She whipped her head from side to side as she lost herself in the euphoria and the sounds of their bodies slamming together and the banging of the couch against the wall: Bang! Bang! Bang!  
  
"Hmm..." Monique covered her face with her arm trying to hold on to the elusive fantasy.   
  
"Jesus Christ, I'm coming," she said miserably as the knocking on the door became louder.   
  
"Hello," Monique said gruffly as she pulled open the front door.   
  
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Motoki blurted out in general shock.   
  
"I'm sick. Besides I should be asking the same thing. Some nerve you have showing your face after what you did to Endymion!" she bit back.   
  
"Yeah, in the head. And you- do not even get me started," he replied furiously. "And where the fuck is Endymion?! I have to speak with him. And I swear to God if he's here naked I'm castrating him! Do you hear me?" Motoki bellowed at the uncaring apartment.   
  
"He's not here, he's at rehearsal until evening," she said annoyed at his childishness.   
  
"You've got some balls," Motoki whistled as he watched Monique make herself comfortable on the couch.   
  
"As I recall you are the one that ditched Endymion in his most dire time of need for that little bitch, so let's not go pointing fingers," she said icily.   
  
"YOU'RE THE CAUSE OF HIS 'MOST DIRE TIME OF NEED'," he shouted in frustration.   
  
"Not that again Motoki, it's becoming old."  
  
"What, the truth?" he snapped.   
  
"If you've come here to feed Endymion that bullshit story you're wasting your breath. He didn't want to hear it then, and he doesn't want to hear it now," she said matter-of-factly.   
  
"Well he'll listen now. I saw you break him down once, and yeah I fucked up in the past but at least I'll admit it and am trying to make it right. I'm going to be his friend and do what's best for him, and that means showing him what a conniving bitch you are."  
  
"You don't know shit," she whispered dangerously.   
  
"Well I do know that you were insanely jealous of Gianna and that it ate you up inside that Endymion loved her and not you. And I know that night when we were all walking down Main Street you asked to see the engagement ring that Gianna was so proud of. You said that you wanted to get a better look at it. I know that two seconds before Endymion drove by, driving like a bat out of hell, you threw that ring right in front of him into the street. You knew the Gianna would run out into the street to get it. She loved that stupid ring more than she loved her fiancée. You killed Gianna, and me and everyone else that night knew it too. But it was just so easy and convenient to blame Endymion, saved the name of Gianna's family a bit too. And yes I played along and didn't tell anyone. I was just as bad as everyone else. And I thought that maybe, just maybe, when you got up on the stand you would tell the truth. Even though Endymion was speeding and intoxicated, a person who was not still would not have been able to stop in time. But no, you just sullied Gianna's name, not saved Endymion's. I kept my mouth shut then, but I'm sure as hell not going to keep it shut now," he said, his voice shaking.   
  
"Oh, you think you just have everything figured out, don't you?" Monique demanded as she hopped to her feet. "You think I was jealous of Gianna? Ha! I was better off with my drunken hobo mother than with that family! You think you know everything Motoki? Well did you know that the poor excuse of a man Gianna called Dad used to rape me? Yeah, all the time. Do you know what it's like to fear the sound of footsteps coming down the hallway? And do you know what it's like when you hear the bedroom door creak open, and you wish and pray that it was someone else, but you know in your heart that it's him? He said it was the least I could do, because he was so good and kind to take me in. Gianna knew it, too. But when I tried to tell my aunt, Gianna said that I was lying, and I was just trying to get back at him because he made me break up with my boyfriend. My uncle never let me have any boyfriends; the sick bastard wanted me all to himself. And besides Gianna's fiancée was a complete jerk too. He used to beat her and was cheating on her with her best friend, aka your little fuck toy. He was only marrying her so he could get his hands on that supposed fortune. Too bad he didn't know that her father had gambled it all away. Besides, I didn't think Gianna would run out to get it. I thought her fiancée would, he was so damn cheap. I was doing her the biggest favor of her life, even though she was incredibly cruel to me. I didn't know it was Endymion driving the SUV; it all just turned out wrong. And I didn't know she was pregnant. See Endymion knew all this about me. Love is when you know the deepest, darkest secrets about someone, and you care for them anyway. So yeah, it's true that I could have said that Endymion wasn't to blame, but I was afraid. The minute Endymion got off, they would turn on me. I admit I was a coward. But before you go running to Endymion, just know that you completely turned your back on him, even more so than me, just for a little whore that would go kiss you and use those same lips to go suck another go off," she finished softly, her voice strained.  
  
Motoki just stared at her for a moment, his bottom lip quivering slightly.   
  
"What wrong Motoki? I do believe it looks as if you might cry," she said cruelly.   
  
He looked quickly away.   
  
"You were always an excellent liar," he said, as though trying to convince himself of the falsehood of her statements.   
  
Monique was about to reply, but he held up a hand to silence her.   
  
"I'll get to bottom of this, this whole mystery of why you're here. And I don't need you're little monologues obscuring the truth," he said with an air of confidence.   
  
"Don't let the first thing with legs and a vagina distract you," she said with fake sweetness.   
  
Motoki smiled at the familiarity of the words before storming out, slamming the door behind him.  
  
  
  
  
  
Ryan stepped off the plane gracefully, a leather suitcase in one hand and a suit in another. Usagi wasn't expecting him for another half an hour, so it gave him plenty of time to make a little stop and take care of some business. But of course it did. Everything was planned, everything was organized, everything was perfect.   
  
"Oh my God, who's bothering me now?" Monique complained to no one in particular.   
  
"I swear to God Motoki..." Monique said as she flung open the door. However she stopped in mid-rant as her eyes fell upon one of the most beautiful men she had ever seen. Handsome was not the word for him. Endymion was handsome with his strong jaw and dark hair, but this man, this man looked almost like an angel. His skin was slightly tan and he was obviously slightly muscular under his suit. But he was not as broad as Endymion; he was tall but had a slight build. He had high cheek bones, pouty lips, and intense green eyes.   
  
"Yes? Who are you looking for?" she asked, doing a swift scan of his neat blonde hair, expensive suit, and Rolex.  
  
"I'm actually here to see Endymion, is he in?" Ryan asked surveying the raven haired nymph clad in only a black tang top and tight black shorts.   
  
"No, but you're welcome to come in and wait if you wish," she smiled, pulling back the door to allow him access.   
  
"Thank you," he said entering, brushing against her. "I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself. My name is Ryan Black. I'm a business associate of Endymion's," he said flashing her a flawless smile.   
  
"I'm a friend of Endymion's. I'm just visiting for a few days," she explained. "You're welcome to show yourself around while you wait. I was just about to start painting. I feel like such a bum. I must warn you though, it's a bit messy," she said with a laugh.   
  
"It's perfectly fine," he replied cautiously walking around the apartment, scanning for any traces of his Usagi.   
  
He slipped his hands into his pockets and sauntered into the bedroom.   
  
His heart fell when he saw nothing out of the ordinary tousled in with the unmade sheets. However, when he was about to exit the room a pink garment caught his eyes. His slowly walked towards it. It looked to be a pair of pink panties. Usagi once wore this one pair of excruciatingly childish pair of pink underwear which had a bunny on the butt. He had forbade her from ever wearing them again, stating that they were an utter turn off. He bent down to pick up the undergarment to examine it more closely, but a voice behind him made him jump in surprise.   
  
"I was just wondering if you would like anything to drink," Monique said with a raised eyebrow.   
  
Ryan jumped up from his position on the floor and brushed off his pant legs.   
  
"A water would be lovely," he said with his most charming voice.   
  
She gave him one more questioning look before heading to the kitchen.  
  
He gazed with appreciation at her backside.   
  
"I'm sure she doesn't wear pink panties........."  
  
"It's a beautiful apartment," Ryan said as he looked out towards the balcony.   
  
"I know, it has a wonderful view. I'm hoping it will give me some inspiration. You don't mind if I play some music do you? It helps me to concentrate," she explained.  
  
"Go right ahead," he replied with a motion of his head.   
  
Monique reached for the remote and hit play. An instant later a pulsating seductive beat echoed from the speakers followed by a deep sultry voice.  
  
You let me violate you. You let me desecrate you   
  
You let me penetrate you. You let me complicate you   
  
Ryan looked at her, and she turned away quickly as though ashamed that he caught her.  
  
Help me I broke apart my insides . Help me I've got no soul to sell   
  
Help me the only thing that works for me. Help me get away from myself   
  
Ryan glanced at her again, but this time she kept eye contact and mouthed the words from behind her canvas.  
  
I want to fuck you like an animal   
  
I want to feel you from the inside   
  
I want to fuck you like an animal   
  
My whole existence is flawed   
  
He inhaled sharply as she licked her lips, his dick jumping in response. He reached to pull the curtains closed as she stalked towards him, grabbing him by his jacket. The curtains shut with a whoosh, plunging the room into darkness.   
  
You get me closer to God.  
  
"Kunzite, I don't want to go to back Italy!" Mina cried, slamming closed her suitcase.   
  
Kunzite stared at her, taken aback.   
  
"I thought you liked Italy. Besides certainly you don't want to stay in this hotel room for the rest of your life," he replied.   
  
"No, but I do want to stay in Tokyo," she said fervently, "I forgot how much I missed the familiar surroundings. This is where my friends are. This is where I belong."   
  
"Well wherever you belong is where I belong. Just let me fly back to Italy, wrap up some loose ends, and we're start looking for a house here," he said wrapping his strong arms around her.   
  
Just as he was about to kiss her, however, a loud knock made them break apart.   
  
"Oh hey, Motoki! I wanted to talk to you before I left! Come in," Kunzite said good-naturedly.   
  
"Hey Mina," Motoki said softly as he laid eyes on the beautiful blonde.   
  
"Hey Motoki," she replied as they exchanged a look of shared pain inflicted by the same man.   
  
"So what brings you here?" Kunzite asked as he sat down.   
  
"Well, we need to talk..." he said, coughing slightly.   
  
"Oh, well I better go pack your things Kunzite," Mina said taking the hint and running upstairs.   
  
"What do you know about Monique?" Motoki asked as he sat across from Kunzite, folding his hands.   
  
"So you already found out," he sighed.   
  
"Yeah," Motoki replied curtly.   
  
"How's Endymion taking it?" Kunzite asked.   
  
"I really don't see why he should be taking anything. I know you know something. You were the last person that had contact with her."   
  
"We went out for a little while, but broke it off. We remained acquaintances though after I started going with Mina. I mentioned to her that I was going to Japan to visit Endymion. She seemed interested but nothing really evolved. Then she called me a few days ago asking me where he lived, she said she just wanted to talk. I thought it would be therapeutic for Endymion to speak with her," Kunzite explained nonchalantly.   
  
"You thought it would be therapeutic? Do you know the hell that woman put him through. Besides she said something about being sick. I came here to find truth, don't lie to me," Motoki demanded.   
  
The color drained from Kunzite's face, rendering it pale.   
  
"I didn't think that fact would be something she'd be advertising," Kunzite replied, regaining his composure. "You're right, she is sick. And when I broke up with her she was in tears, sobbing that there was no one to take care of her. But you have to understand I wanted a family, besides I was and still am in love with Mina. I did feel dreadful though, so I might have let slip the fact that I was visiting Endymion. From the why she speaks he owes her big time."  
  
"First of all she's full of shit. Secondly, you dumped her on one of your best friends so you could sleep better at night. God, don't you think Endymion's had it hard enough without the people he trusts the most complicating his life further. For the first time Endymion seemed genuinely happy with his relationship with Usagi. Granted it was a tad bit unorthodox, but I came to accept because it made him happy. But you dump this slut on him that he just got over obsessing about so you can fuck Mina guilt free," Motoki said with disgust.   
  
"It's not like that. I didn't think she'd mess up Endymion's relationship with Usagi. They can't have a physical relationship; well I don't think she'd take the chance. Motoki, she has AIDS. She's had it for about a year. I just thought that she could stay with Endymion until she found a means of supporting herself and some friends. Besides, I'd thought he's like to make peace with her before you-know," Kunzite said, hoping for Motoki's understanding.   
  
"What makes you think that Monique won't put the moves on Endymion? It would probably make her exultant for Endymion to get AIDS. She'd probably think it horribly romantic that they die together," he said bitterly.   
  
"Deep down she loves him, and Endymion loves Usagi. When you're in love, you can do no wrong," Kunzite said firmly.  
  
"Is that they shit you feed yourself to help you sleep at night? You need more than love, you need trust. And I sure as hell don't trust them alone with each other."  
  
Monique pushed Ryan off her after she felt his muscles tighten and shudder in orgasm.   
  
"You know, I don't think that Endymion's going to be home until later, but I'll be sure to tell him that you came by," she said carelessly, brushing her hair away from her face.   
  
She hoisted herself up off the couch and walked back over to her canvas. A few minutes later she looked back over to the couch and noticed that Ryan was still there.   
  
"Is there a problem, is there something else you need?" she asked, not bothering to hide the annoyance in her tone.   
  
"Oh...no," he stammered as he gathered his clothing. Monique was the best fuck of his life and now she was just discarding him like yesterday's newspaper.   
  
He left the apartment ashamed and with a bruised ego." But at least Usagi will be home," he thought to himself. He could vent some of his frustration on her.   
  
"Thank God he finally left," Monique sighed as she reached under the couch and admired her new Rolex with a smile.  
  
Endymion's heart skipped a beat as he recognized the familiar black Porsche zooming out of the apartment complex's parking lot. He ducked down behind the wheel. He let out a sigh of relief. Ryan hadn't seen him. He had seemed very preoccupied with something else. Endymion shrugged it off and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.   
  
"Worst fuck of my life," Monique murmured as she tidied up the apartment feeling very unsatisfied.   
  
She glanced towards Endymion's bedside table indecisively. She knew she shouldn't but... She waited a few moments before hopping on the bed and pulling the drawer open.   
  
"Yes," she whispered as she found a half full box of condoms.   
  
She was about to slam the door shut when a picture caught her eye.   
  
Usagi sat in her bedroom, watching the hours slip by and still no husband. Endymion would be back from rehearsal now.  
  
"Fuck this, and fuck him. I'm done caring!" Usagi announced scathingly to the empty room as she grabbed her keys and headed to the man who would always be there.  
  
"Hey Monique, I'm home. Are you feeling okay?" Endymion called as he removed his jacket and set down his violin case.   
  
"Monique..." he called as he wandered through the house, finally reaching his bedroom.  
  
"There you are," he murmured as he found her lying on her stomach, legs crossed in the air, staring intently at the picture.   
  
"You seem happy," she whispered in a far away voice.   
  
Endymion leaned over her to look at the picture. It was the only picture he owned of him and Usagi. They had taken it when they went to the concert: their first and only date.   
  
"She's beautiful," she said sincerely.   
  
"We were like that once Darien. Amazing isn't it. How we were still happy even though we knew all that shit about each other. Most people would turn tail and run if I whispered one word about my past," she said with a cynical smile as she reached down into one of her bags and pulled out a small pouch.   
  
Endymion watched as she measured out a small line, put a bill to her nose, and bent her head.   
  
"You shouldn't be doing that if you're sick" he said softly.  
  
"It won't make a difference. I'm sorry Darien. I'm sorry and I'm tired," she said slowly focusing her liquid eyes upon him.   
  
"You broke my heart," he choked out.  
  
"But I have some glue. Help me inhale, and I'll mend with you," she replied melodically.   
  
"Do you really think that this thing with Usagi is going to work out? I heard you guys in the kitchen today. She doesn't understand you like I do. She's some fickle rich brat that wants to get revenge on her husband who's probably not keeping up his end of the deal in the bedroom," she said sagely.   
  
Endymion thought back to the times when Usagi had been distant and secretive.   
  
"You know you have to share me" her words echoed in his mind. Maybe Monique was right. No one but her could ever truly know or love him.   
  
Endymion gingerly took the bill from her fingertips and sniffed a line of the white gold. He closed his eyes and allowed the familiar sensation to wash over him. Monique turned his head toward her. He sat mesmerized as she lifted her top over her head. He smiled as his lips touched her and his senses were assaulted with her scent and taste.   
  
Usagi tried the door to Endymion's apartment. She really didn't want Monique answering the door. Even her name sounded bitter on her tongue. To her surprise the door opened noiselessly. Usagi slipped off her shoes and headed to Endymion's bedroom.   
  
"Endy-" but his name fell dead on her tongue, as she watched the sinewy muscles of his back strain as he rocked against Monique.  
  
His head was turned from her, buried in the concave of Monique's neck whose eyes were closed in ecstasy. Usagi bit her bottom lip to prevent the tears and ran home to her husband's arms and bed. It had gone full circle. It was just like the day Usagi first laid eyes on Endymion: he was in love with Monique and she was the property of her husband. The words that her mother once spoke echoed in her mind: People don't change, circumstances do.  
  
OKAY, I'M MAKING THIS ALL CAPS BECAUSE I WANT PEOPLE TO READ THIS AUTHOR NOTE! Okay, I hope that caught your attention, I find all caps annoying. I know there was a lot of sex in this chapter, and I hope that it wasn't offensive to anyone. It was pointless sex though, I tried to show how much more romantic Endymion's and Usagi's lovemaking was compared to Monique's. Well at least that's what I was trying for. I also realize that this chapter was kind of soap operaish, but this was one of the darkest chapters, it gets happier from here, I promise! So please don't send a ton of flames, not all relationships are they meet, fall in love, and live happily ever after. ALSO VERY IMPORTANT! YOU PROBABLY REALIZED THAT I SAID IT WENT FULL CIRCLE AT THE END. AS YOU MAY HAVE FORGOTTEN ALL THE CHAPTERS FROM CHAPTER 2 ONWARD HAVE BEEN A FLASHBACK FROM THE FIRST CHAPTER. NOW THE NEXT CHAPTER POSTED WILL BE IN THE PRESENT. THIS WAS ALL SORT OF PROLOGUE. I just thought that fact was important and I'm sure some of you do not recall that the first chapter ended with Usagi thinking of how it all began. You might want to reread it! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! Part B is going to be much shorter than the other chapters so if I get many reviews it should be out quickly. Oh yeah, I was wondering if you guys preferred longer or shorter chapters. Please get back to me because I can make them either way. The reader's enjoyment if my first priority. They will still contain the same information but I would just break them into parts. Also the song Monique plays is "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails Well thanks for reading and review, review, review!!!!  
  
~ Pink Moonbeam 


	8. Part B: A Slip of the Tongue

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SAILORMOON. HOWEVER ALL ORGINAL CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE ARE MINE  
  
RATED: R FOR STRONG SEXUAL CONTENT, LANGUAGE, AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE  
  
Hey! My sincere apologizes for the time it took for me to update! Thank you to everyone who reviewed. It was most appreciated. However, a major theme throughout the reviews was one of AIDS. Let me remind you that your chance of getting AIDS while wearing a condom is very slim. Actually the only way is through the condom breaking. Just something to keep in mind while you're reading.  
  
Trust Between the Covers  
  
A Slip of the Tongue  
  
Endymion stared at his reflection intently in the mirror. His shocking blue eyes contrasting drastically with his now pale skin. His black hair that mocked the midnight sky lay sweat-soaked upon his forehead as his chest moved in irregular rhythms. He wanted to destroy the image in front of him. Disgust coursed through his veins for the man staring back at him. He was nothing but a whore...a dirty whore. He focused his eyes on the gothic beauty beside him; her hair was tousled and wrapped around her like a black cloak, some strands clinging to her swollen ruby lips. He closed his eyes and shuddered as he felt the skin of his back burning. He turned to get a better look, and his face twisted in repulsion as he noticed the red scratch marks that graced the sensitive skin of his sinewy back. His mind wandered to Usagi and his stomach lurched.   
  
"Oh God..." his mind raced with possibilities.   
  
But one thing was for sure, he had to tell her what he had done. He didn't love Monique, their fuck was completely mindless. Well maybe not completely. Somewhere in the dark corners of his mind that were not crowded with the stuporing effects of cocaine, he loved the power he felt when he pinned Monique against the mattress, embedding himself forcefully within her. It gave him a sort of sick pleasure to use her, just like she had used him. But never again, even now he felt loathing for his actions. He retraced all the actions that took place after he had walked through the door and set his violin down.   
  
"Okay...I looked for Monique, talked to her about the picture...snorted....she took off her top, then he laid her down...shit condom!" Endymion repeated the sequence in his head.   
  
He looked violently around, rummaging through drawers, and flipping over his bedspread.   
  
"Thank you Lord," he breathed a sigh of relief, as he snatched a used condom from underneath his bed and threw it in the trashcan.  
  
He looked at the clock. It was too late to see Usagi now, but he would explain himself to her tomorrow even if he had to stand up on the stage to do it. It didn't matter if Usagi never had any idea what he had done, he would know. Besides what was a relationship without trust?  
  
Usagi lay on her bed, watching her handsome husband move sleekly around their spacious bedroom, removing his watch, untying his tie, and unbuttoning his shirt to reveal a tanned and hard stomach.   
  
"I got you tickets to the orchestra tomorrow evening. I know how you enjoy it," he said, tidying the dresser.   
  
"Orchestra means Endymion and that means trouble," her mind reminded her.  
  
"Thank you," she replied softly.   
  
His intense green eyes settled upon her form on the bed, her partially exposed chest rose quickly and her blonde hair settled around her like a halo. He couldn't remember the last time she was like this, or perhaps he had just failed to notice.   
  
Usagi watched her husband as he stared intensely upon her. Sometimes she wondered if Ryan knew about him. But she quickly pushed those thoughts out of her mind and out of her heart as she let her husband climb on top of her. She ran her hand down his soft back, and a small smile tugged at her lips as his warm breath tickled her ear. She spread her legs for him, sliding her small hand down his sleek back. She heard the slight rustling as he reached for a condom.   
  
"Ryan, please don't..." she pleaded.   
  
Ryan forcefully pressed his mouth against hers to quiet her muffled pleas.   
  
"Why won't you give me what I so desperately want," she whispered when he broke the kiss.   
  
"I wanted a caring, beautiful, smart, and loving wife. We can't all get what we want," he replied softly.   
  
Usagi closed her eyes, and turned her head away from him. A strangled breath escaped her swollen lips as she felt his member slowly slide into her. And even though she tried to fight it, images of Endymion's muscular build and stormy blue eyes invaded her thoughts.   
  
He was supposed to be at his concert five minutes ago. Endymion cursed softly in frustration as he walked briskly into his bedroom. He jumped back in surprise as the form of Monique, clothed in only a skimpy pair of black lace panties, stood in front of his mirror. A apologize was already half way pass his lips when he decided against it. What was the fucking point of apologizing, she was right, it's not like he hadn't seen it before. However, he noticed features of her body that escaped his lust-clouded glance the first time he laid eyes on her nude figure since she had arrived. Her complexion had always been pale, but now it was almost white, her cheekbones straining against the skin of her face. She had always been on the skinny side, but now her ribs stretched against the flesh of her abdomen, her flaring hips jagged. She was still beautiful, but now she was a wilting flower.   
  
"You should really try to stop snorting," his soft masculine voice pierced the silence of the room like a knife, "you don't look well."  
  
Monique continued to stare at her reflection as she brushed her silky hair. She desperately wanted to tell Endymion everything, but the words got stuck in her throat and she couldn't push them past her lips.   
  
"It's going to kill you," he said as he continued to scrutinize her deteriorating figure.   
  
A faraway look, which seemed to adorn her face so often these days, crossed her features.   
  
Her tongue flicked over her lips and a hoarse melodic whisper penetrated the stuffy quiet of his bedroom.  
  
"Every night  
  
Loaded on wrong  
  
And further from right  
  
Spinning around  
  
Two howling moons  
  
'Cause they're always there  
  
Whatever I do  
  
The river is loaded  
  
I've been there today  
  
Took it some question  
  
He does me again  
  
I'd die in you arms  
  
If you were dead too  
  
Here comes a lie  
  
We will always be true  
  
Bigger you give  
  
Bigger you get  
  
We're boss at denial  
  
But best at forget  
  
Cupboard is empty  
  
We really need food  
  
Summer is winter  
  
And you always knew  
  
I touch your mouth  
  
Your willy is food  
  
Addicted to love  
  
I'm addicted to fools  
  
I kill you once  
  
I kill you again  
  
We're starving and crude  
  
Welcome my friends to  
  
Going up  
  
When coming down  
  
Scratch away  
  
It's the little things that kill  
  
Tearing at my brains again  
  
The little things that kill  
  
The little things that kill," she sung as she slipped on a dress and fixed her hair.  
  
Endymion smiled. The words from so long ago reigning familiar in his memory. She was right, the major things in life such as what happened between him and Gianna back in Italy did not kill, the mundane hardships of everyday life where what tore down the human soul and body. It's the little things that kill. She had always told him that she used drugs to escape everyday life, but looking at her frail figure, he knew that her escape would soon be permanent. He had to tell her that he could no longer see her, not only did he not trust himself around her but it was unfair to keep up this charade. He knew deep in his heart that Monique loved him, but his heart was already claimed by another. He would take care of her and any extra money he had would go to her, but they were really never meant to be: Here comes a lie, we'll always be true. They were both clinging to a past that should be forgotten and putting their faith in a future that wasn't really there. But he could not bear to tell her now, she looked so beautiful in her black dress, her hair pulled on top of her head in an elegant bun. Tonight she would be beautiful and feel beautiful, and he would play his song for her. But when the evening was over he was going to tell her everything.   
  
"C'mon we have to go, we're late," he said.   
  
Monique turned to him and she could tell that something was brewing behind his blue eyes. She didn't know what possessed her to grab a picture of Endymion when he was a teenager off his dresser and place it in her purse when he left the room. She walked around the bedroom memorizing every feature as if she knew it was going to be the last time she would see it. She clutched her purse tightly to her side which held the young picture of Endymion, forever keeping him as she had always secretly wanted him to be: innocent.  
  
Ryan hurried Usagi up the steps to the theater house, his grip firm against her soft arm. They were late, by Usagi's fault of course. The spell created by Endymion around her life had made her forgot all her wifely duties that she should have performed when Ryan was away. She had forgotten to get his nice coat dry cleaned, so at the end Ryan begrudgingly submitted to wearing the one he wore on his business trip, which looked completely fine to Usagi. As they skidded through the lobby and prepared to open the doors to the theater itself, they collided with another couple in a hurry.   
  
"Oh sorry," Ryan apologized as his grip loosened on Usagi's arm.   
  
"It's fi-fine," came a very familiar faltering reply.   
  
She reluctantly looked up and the breathtaking form of Endymion stood before him. He looked absolutely dashing in a pair of black pants and sports coat, an open-collared sapphire dress shirt bringing out the intense blue of his eyes.   
  
Monique inwardly gasped and her doe eyes slightly bulged as she noticed Usagi, Ryan's arm lovingly around her. Her glance flicked over to Ryan, but he was busy scrutinizing Endymion.   
  
Endymion quickly recovered. He had to handle this situation in the most delicate way possible. But that was what Endymion was best at, hiding behind a mask, and the curtain was up, it was time to act.   
  
"I'm so glad you could make it," Endymion said, a charming smile upon his lips, as he firmly shook Ryan's hand.   
  
He couldn't pretend he didn't know Usagi, Ryan had expected him to have already fucked her by now.   
  
"You look stunning Usagi," Endymion said as he gave her friendly hug; however, unseen and unheard by anyone else he whispered into her ear, "Meet me in the lobby, alone, before the show starts, I don't care how you have to get there."  
  
Usagi gave him a penetrating stare for a moment before Ryan's voice brought her back to reality.   
  
"And who might you be?" Ryan asked good-naturedly, motioning to a beautiful woman clad in a black halter evening dress that revealed ample cleavage.   
  
Monique and Ryan exchanged a look.   
  
"So this is how he wants to play," she thought to herself.   
  
She gleefully watched as Ryan tried to hide his nervousness behind a patient smile. One slip from her ruby lips, and the shit would hit the fan.   
  
"I'm Monique, Endymion's girlfriend," she finally replied graciously, holding out her delicate hand.   
  
Ryan felt Usagi noticeably stiffen at the term of endearment that Monique had used for herself.   
  
"I'm Ryan Black, and this is my wife, Usagi," he said, distinctly relieved, as he returned the handshake.   
  
"Well I really must be going. I'll meet you in the lobby at the end of the show," Endymion said to Monique, "enjoy the show," he added, giving a nod to Ryan and Usagi.   
  
"In boca al lupo," Monique breathed as she grazed her lips against his cheek.   
  
Endymion gave one more meaningful in Usagi's direction, before going inside.   
  
"Where's your seat?" Ryan asked Monique.   
  
She shuffled through her purse, finally pulling out a ticket stub and handing it to Ryan.   
  
He glanced over quickly.   
  
"What a small world," Ryan said with a smile, "that's right next to us."  
  
Monique arched a thin eyebrow and smiled as she followed him and his wife inside.  
  
"If you'll excuse me, I have to use the restroom," Usagi said politely as she laid her jacket on her seat, and shuffled past Ryan and Monique.   
  
Usagi ran through the speech in her mind, as she took what seemed like the longest walk of her life, up the velvet carpet, back into the lobby.   
  
"I'm sorry Endymion, but I just don't think we should see each other anymore. My husband's back, and I believe it would be for the best if we just broke it off. I know you understand."  
  
Cool. Confident. Concise.   
  
She might put up with a lot of shit, but she would never stand for deceit and infidelity.The hypocrisy of her words falling upon deaf ears and blind eyes.  
  
Usagi took a deep breath as she saw Endymion casually standing in the magnificent marble lobby. The darkness of his dress and hair providing a drastic contrast from the bright marble of the surrounding room.   
  
He took swift confident strides towards her, and before she could even open her mouth, Endymion placed a long finger against her lips.   
  
"I'm already late, but just let me say this. I've never been more regretful in my life. I fucked Monique, not made love to, but fucked. I'm breaking things off, and making her leave. All I can do is ask for your forgiveness and tell you that I love you, more than anything in the world. I'll explain everything, and tell you everything in time, if you give me the chance. Please don't say a word, just listen during the show. Just listen."  
  
And with that, he removed his finger, and whisked off down the carpet and through the stage door. However, his last words were most unnecessary. He had rendered Usagi speechless.   
  
Usagi walked slightly dazed back to her seat. She noticed with dull amazement that Ryan and Monique's seats were empty.   
  
"I suppose they went to the bathroom," she thought indifferently.   
  
She settled herself into her seat, and casually flipped through the pamphlet.   
  
"Hmm...Endymion has three solos," she thought with a smile, trying to suppress the pride and adoration that was starting to well up inside her.   
  
"Miss...Miss, is this seat taken?"  
  
Usagi looked up quickly and her eyes met with a vaguely familiar jawbone and haunting eyes. She couldn't quite place him though...  
  
"It's just that my ticket reads that I should be sitting there," he said, waving a hand to where Monique's purse lay.   
  
"I'm sorry," Usagi replied breaking out of her reverie and rummaging through her husband's coat pocket.   
  
"I'll read the ticket," she mumbled, as she searched through the pocket.   
  
Usagi froze as her hand wrapped around a shape that was very familiar. She removed her hand quickly, as though it had burned her, and continued her search until she found the elusive ticket. Her eyes swept over the row and seat number, and her hand tightened around the paper. It was the wrong seat. Ryan had wanted Monique next to him. Fury and shame burnt in her cheeks as blood rushed to them.   
  
"It's okay miss, I'll sit up a few rows, there are always a few empty seats," the man replied swiftly, noticing the state she was in. And he hurried away quickly as though afraid to be seen.  
  
She crumpled up the ticket in her hand, and dove back into the pocket, pulling out the packet aforementioned.   
  
She stared at the condom in her hand in disbelief. This was the coat Ryan had worn on his business trip, why the hell would he need a condom in his pocket? She stuffed the condom angrily into her purse. Millions of questions turned and twisted about her mind as her gaze focused on the empty seat next to her which should have been occupied by her husband.   
  
"What the hell are you doing here? I have to piss," Monique said impatiently to the man that was blocking her entrance to the ladies' room.   
  
"I have to talk to you. I need you again, I don't care when. I can give you anything you want. I will not deny anything from you....if you don't deny anything from me," Ryan said huskily, as he ran a finger down her jawbone, her graceful neck, and finally the side of her breast.   
  
"I have Endymion," she replied coldly, as she firmly pushed him away, and walked haughtily into the bathroom.   
  
Ryan cursed under his breath. He was not good with handling rejection.   
  
Usagi did not say a word to Ryan or Monique when the sidled into their seats, after the lights had already been dimmed.   
  
She sat breathless throughout the show. Endymion's first solo which was of Coldplay's "Trouble" was absolute brilliant. Endymion was going to be big, and judging by the gleeful look on Monique's face, she knew it too.   
  
Usagi sat stoically in her seat during his second solo, which was his song for Monique. She could hear Monique telling anyone who would listen that Endymion had written that especially for her.  
  
"Listen, just listen. What so I can hear of his undying lust for his gothic beauty?" Usagi thought bitterly.   
  
However, her heart jumped to her throat as Endymion's hoarse voice reverberated around the room. The musicians never spoke.   
  
"This is my last piece of the evening. And I would just like to say that it is the most special and dearest to my heart," he said, and Usagi swore that his stormy eyes settled upon her during the last phrase.   
  
Monique sat in anticipation, wondering if it was a new piece for her, inspired by their love-making, however, the smirk quickly fell off her face as she heard the beginning melody. It was nothing of their passion, or her beauty. It spoke of something more vibrant and bright. Something more like.....Usagi. A jealousy rose from her chest like a monster, making it almost hard to breathe.   
  
Usagi sat in wonder as she heard their song. Endymion was telling the world, and most especially Monique, that he did not want to be her invisible lover any longer, and he spoke his love of her to everyone in the room. Usagi smiled and just listened.   
  
Listen.  
  
Monique swept out of the concert hall quite ruffled. She ran up to Endymion, but Usagi could not hear what was being said over the bustling and murmur of the crowd, as the worked their way out.   
  
Usagi watched as Endymion silenced her with a finger upon her lips. She watched as he stood proudly, shoulders back, and he only talked for a few moments before she saw Monique's shoulders slump, and her slender hands fly to her face.   
  
Endymion placed a reluctant hand upon her shoulder before walking away forever.   
  
She was about to go walk to Endymion, but a blonde man got to him first. They exchanged greetings, but she saw Motoki's brilliant white smile flicker, as he threw a cautious glance towards Monique's direction. Motoki walked towards Monique, and Usagi rushed to get to Endymion, but alas she lost him amongst the swarming crowd.   
  
"You told him, didn't you?! Didn't you?!" Monique demanded of Motoki, her voice shaking with rage.   
  
"I didn't tell him anything. In fact I was going to tonight, but he told me to save my breath, and that he had already done the right thing. But don't worry, you're still be a dark angel in his eyes," he bit back.   
  
"Now I have no one. I have no money, and right when Endymion was going to make it big, I was going to be right by his side, living the life I deserve. I was with him when he had nothing!" she said, choking on self-pity.   
  
"Yeah and you also left him when he had nothing and was in the lowest state of his life," he reminded her.   
  
"You are a cruel bastard! I have nothing and no one and I'm going to die alone!" she wailed.  
  
"What's wrong Monique? I do believe it looks as though you might cry," Motoki said softly.   
  
Monique gave him a bitter smile that did not reach her eyes. It had gone full circle.  
  
Monique caught sight of Ryan as he made his way across the lobby in search of his golden-haired wife. Her heart sunk as she swallowed the last of her pride.   
  
"Hey Ryan," she whispered seductively as she cut off his progress.   
  
"You know, I was thinking during the show of what a mistake I made. I cannot believe I wanted a pussy like Endymion over you," she purred as her hands slid down his chest and grazed against his now slightly hard manhood.   
  
"You don't have to do anything about Usagi now. I just need you. Tonight. Well, what am I wasting words for, you can just see for yourself," she smiled, as she took his hand, worked it through one of her slits, placing it between her legs.  
  
"Can you feel how wet I am?" she whispered into his ear as she tightened her muscles around him.   
  
"Hold on one second," he grinned devilishly as he made his way over to his waiting and oblivious wife.   
  
"I'm so sorry Usagi, but I just got an urgent call from work. I have to go to my office right away. They sent important papers there, and they said I have to review them, right now. It shouldn't take that long, but I don't want you waiting up for me," he explained, his voice laced with sweetness and regret.  
  
"And I was so looking forward to ravaging you," he whispered, as he ran a hand along her thigh.  
  
Her body tensed under his touch.   
  
"Of course," she replied coldly.   
  
"Don't worry, Motoki will give me a ride home," she said motioning to the blonde haired man that was standing a few feet behind her.   
  
Ryan's jaw stiffened and his green eyes became ice as he glared at Motoki.   
  
He gave her a disapproving look that foretold of a beating.  
  
"Of course," he replied coldly.   
  
Usagi challenged him with a searching look of her own, before walking towards Motoki, deliberately looping her arm through his.   
  
As she turned around to give a parting glance to her husband, her eyes locked with the stunning blue of dark haired man standing behind him.   
  
"I forgive you," she mouthed simply as she followed Motoki into the cold dark night.   
  
Endymion smiled as his heart lightened. Everything was going to be okay.  
  
Monique sat quietly on the hotel bed. With shaking hands, she unhooked the back of her dress, letting it slid off her shoulders, revealing a jutting collar bone and round pert breasts.   
  
Ryan stared at her unashamed, finally settling on her eyes. She looked like a deer caught in headlights.   
  
"I never thought I would see you self-conscious," he whispered as he removed his shirt revealing a hard tanned stomach.   
  
He laid her down and climbed on top her. She breathed slowly and evenly as her nipples brushed against his toned torso.   
  
He spread her creamy legs, and lifted one up, wrapping it around his hips, as he rocked his clothed pelvis against the satiny fabric of her underwear.   
  
"Don't forget the condom," she breathed.  
  
Ryan reached for his coat, and searched through his pockets. However, he began to get frantic, as the realization that there was no condom in his pocket washed over him.   
  
"I don't know where the fuck it is," he cursed angrily, throwing the coat off the bed.   
  
"Can you get pregnant?" he asked roughly.   
  
"No..no...I had an unfortunate abortion a couple years ago. It left me unable to bear children," she replied softly.   
  
"Well then there's no problem. Unless...you're not lying to me are you," he asked sweetly, as he forcefully grabbed her chin between his thumb and fore-finger, jerking her head up to meet his eyes.   
  
"Why the hell would I want to get fat, only to have little sniveling brat running around," she said as best as she could under his grip.   
  
"My sentiments exactly," Ryan said loosening his hold.   
  
He returned to his former position. Monique bit her bottom lip as she heard the sound of a zipper magnified in the tiny room.   
  
"Wait..stop," she said, placing a small palm against his chest.   
  
"What now?" he asked impatiently.   
  
Everything was on the tip of her tongue, but before a word could be spoken, an idea entered her mind. A horribly selfish idea. Ryan was her last chance of being taken care of. It didn't matter if she was labeled a murderer. She had murdered Gianna, well according to Motoki anyway, and her unborn child. Besides it was about time Karma paid Ryan a little visit.   
  
"Nothing," she whispered as a glazed look passed over her eyes, and she arched herself to him.  
  
"Hmm...what is Endymion going to think of his dirty little girl," Ryan moaned as he brutally pounded in and out of her.   
  
"Ahh..it..ah..doesn't matter. He's sooo in love with Usagi apparently..ooh," she said bitterly meeting his thrusts.   
  
However her body froze immediately as she realized what she had spoken.   
  
"What did you say?" Ryan demanded softly.  
  
Well that's it for this chapter! Sorry it was a little short, but it was Part B. Please review because the next chapter is going to be the longest of the entire story, and it's going to be a trial to write. Your reviews really help! The song that Monique sings to Endymion is "The Little Things" by Bush. Also "In boco al lupo" is an Italian expression meaning good luck.  
  
-PinkMoonBeam 


	9. Not A Fairytale

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SAILORMOON. HOWEVER THE STORYLINE IS MINE.  
  
RATED: R FOR SEXUALITY AND COARSE LANGUAGE  
  
Trust Between the Covers  
  
Not a Fairytale  
  
Usagi sat at her vanity absent-mindedly, running a brush repeatedly over her silky blonde hair. The repetitive motion gave her a sense of peace. In the mirror she could see her husband preparing for work. She watched as he pulled up his black pants that hung so seductively on his flat stomach and slender hips. She didn't know what time he had come home last night. She couldn't count the hours, and her eyes had become too tired. But now thoughts were buzzing through her brain. Her hand gripped the brush tighter as she glanced at her purse that was thrown beside her bed. The damn condom sat innocently inside, taunting her with thoughts of her husband's infidelity.   
  
"You need not get ready today," her husband's husky voice pierced through the silence of the room.   
  
"And why might that be?" she replied trying to keep her voice even.   
  
"You and I both know that the only reason you have that job is because I wanted to give you something to do. But I've found someone more qualified, so there's no point in wasting both of our time. Besides I think you need time to master being a good wife, two tasks have seemed to prove too much for you," he answered matter-of-factly.   
  
Usagi's face burned and she clenched her teeth, trying to keep in the venomous words, but that proved to be a task too hard.   
  
"Does more qualified mean a bigger chest?" she bit back angrily.   
  
Ryan stopped buttoning his shirt in mid-way, and pivoted sharply towards her. Fear rose up in her like a tidal wave but she pushed it aside and bravely titled her head, locking her eyes with is. Blue fire met with green.   
  
"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" he demanded softly.   
  
"Well the person who replaced me, correct me if I'm wrong, but is she not female?" she asked.   
  
"I don't see what that has to do with anything, but yes, she is a female."  
  
"You just don't get it, do you Ryan." Usagi replied disgusted.   
  
"No, I think I get it just fine. And it disgusts me that you would think that of me. After what your father put you through...."  
  
Usagi's bottom quivered, as she looked quickly away trying to hide the memories.   
  
A satisfied smirk crossed Ryan's lips; he had her just where we wanted.   
  
He knelt down beside her, his breath warm against her sensitive neck.   
  
"I know how hard it must have been for you, to have your mother dying of cancer in your own household. And then...all you wanted was to ask your father what was wrong with mommy, she was making funny noises, and then you saw him, on top of your mother's nurse...how dreadful," he whispered into her ear.   
  
Usagi could no longer keep in the tears. She let out a small gasp as she choked on the pain.   
  
"I know how much fidelity means to you Usagi, and it hurts me to think that your esteem of me is so low," he said as he began to place soft kisses down her neck and his large hands slowly began massaging one of her breasts as her body raked with sobs.   
  
"Please...please...Ryan...stop..stop," she strangled out the words in between sobs.  
  
He grabbed her breast, squeezing it hard, and gave her a rough kiss before rising to his feet to continue getting ready for work.  
  
"Trust, Usagi, that's all one needs in a relationship. That's why I married you. I know that you would never be so hypocritical to perform adultery. You always told me that the last person you wanted to ever become is your father," Ryan said as he closed the door softly behind him, a small smile tugging at his lips.   
  
Usagi lifted her tear-stained face from in between her crossed arms and looked at herself hard in the mirror.   
  
He had done it again. He turned everything against her. She reached for her brush angrily, throwing it full force into the mirror, breaking it into thousands of little shards.  
  
She had become what she had always hated.  
  
  
  
Endymion gripped the wheel of his SUV tightly. This was it. He was going to tell Usagi the words that had been on the tip of his tongue since a few nights ago.   
  
"Everything's going to be okay," he kept on reassuring himself as he slowed to a stop in front of Usagi's large home.   
  
He held his violin case in one hand, the handle slippery under his sweaty palm. Nervously his pushed his quivering finger to the doorbell.   
  
"Oh God," Usagi murmured as she wiped furiously at her eyes and pulled her hair back into a messy bun.   
  
"Hel..." Usagi's voice fell flat as she was met with a gorgeous dark-haired violinist at her front door.   
  
"Endymion...this isn't" but he cut her off as he swiftly moved inside, and placed a finger on her lips.   
  
"I need to talk to you," he said urgently.   
  
"You're right..we do need to talk," Usagi conceded as she led him up the stairs to the bedroom.   
  
"Let me go first, before I loose the courage," he smiled.   
  
"Usagi. I love you. I am head-over-heels, madly in love with you. And I want you to run away with me. Don't worry about money, I'm going to make it big, I know it Usagi. And even if I don't, we don't need all this," Endymion said motioning to the splendor around him.   
  
"What about Ryan?" she asked flabbergasted.  
  
"I will always protect you. We'll move to Italy, or England. And oh France is absolutely beautiful," he said grasping her hands.   
  
She smiled at the excitement in his eyes.   
  
However, he husband's words still echoed plainly in her mind.   
  
"Oh my poor deluded Endymion," she gained immense pleasure at the malicious tone of her words.   
  
All the pain and venom from Ryan that etched her soul, now poured out of her mouth into the fragile spirit of Endymion.   
  
"This isn't some fairy tale or cheesy romantic comedy. This is real life. And do you honestly think that I would give up all this wealth around me, and run off with some violinist that I only really know from bed? How do I know that you won't leave me the second we get in a little argument? Besides, you haven't proved that faithful either," she continued.   
  
"But..but...I love you," Endymion said incredously, trying his best to fight back the tears.   
  
"Do you think that those three little words fix everything? Wake up and smell the thorns Endymion, life isn't all roses" she replied bitterly.   
  
He glared at her for a moment.   
  
"Since when have you become so jaded?" he asked sharply.   
  
"Since I saw my father fucking my mother's nurse as she lay dying in their bed," she replied softly.   
  
"I'm sorry about your childhood Usagi, I really am. But I'm taking risks too. Do you honestly think that you are the only who had an asshole for a father? My mother was a beautiful woman; some said that she was the most beautiful woman in all of Italy. But my father was a jealous man, and worse a very bad alcoholic. I'll never forget that night. It was a gentle summer evening, the kind that bought the sound of the crickets from the bull rushes. It was just after dinner, my mother was clearing the table and I was trying to play her violin. I remember she told me to be careful, because she had to go to practice that night. My father slammed his beer onto the table and asked if practice was a code name for Michael's house. Michael was a trumpet player that my mother sometimes played with. She just laughed and told my dad to stop being silly. He asked if being silly meant the laughing stock of the entire town because his wife was a whore. I just remember a lot of screams after that; I couldn't make out a lot of the words. My father was not a bad man, just extremely jealous. And he had reason to be suspicious, even though I was only seven I think I knew my mother was cheating on my father, but I had met Michael once or twice. He seemed like a nice man, and he didn't drink. I just don't think my mother could put up with his drinking any more. Anyway, I remember my father grabbing the knife from the kitchen table, and then I heard it, it sounded like the moan of a wounded animal. The next thing I remember was my mother falling on top of me. I woke up and the police were there. I was covered in blood and I didn't know why. I later found out that he had stabbed my mother twenty-six times. Maybe if she had left and run away with Michael she would still be alive today, and I would still have a mother and a father. After the accident with Gianna, everyone was so quick to believe. They said I was just like him. But I will never be like him, and I don't want you to end up like my mother," Endymion finished, tears running silently down his face as he gripped his violin so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.   
  
Usagi's mind flashed back to the man at the theater that had looked so vaguely familiar.   
  
"Is your father still alive?" she whispered softly.   
  
"My father was dead to me a long time ago. A man comes to my shows sometimes, but he is not my father," he replied dully.  
  
Her mind recalled her father who now lived in America with her mother's Vietnamese nurse. She had not spoken to him since her mother died and he moved away and she moved in with Ryan.   
  
"I'm sorry what happened to your mother, but Ryan would never do that to me. I think it would be better if you left," she explained gently.   
  
"NO! I'm not leaving without you," he shouted.   
  
"Don't you understand Endymion? What we had meant nothing to me. You were just a fuck Endymion, just a mindless fuck!" she cried.  
  
"You don't mean that. Look at you, you can't even speak, you're shaking," he replied softly.   
  
"Do NOT tell me what I do and do not mean. You..you were just a pawn I used to get back at my husband. And I had my revenge and I had fun. Now it's time to return to my normal organized life Endymion, without you," she said, no longer able to hold back the tears.   
  
"I'm not leaving until I'm sure that you feel nothing for me," Endymion said, determination lacing his words.   
  
He grabbed her arms and pressed his lips firmly upon hers, coaxing her mouth open with his velvety tongue. Usagi moaned softly into his lips and she began to drown in the passion she felt. After a few moments in which time felt as if it had stopped, he moved away, letting her gasp for air.   
  
"Tell me, tell me you feel nothing," he demanded, his voice shaking.   
  
Usagi looked at him through tear-filled eyes and labored breaths and the images of her father moving up and down filled her tender mind.  
  
"I. felt. NOTHING," she screamed, her voice breaking.   
  
"You're lying," Endymion said softly.   
  
However, before she could answer the soft squeaking of the door opening and the patter of footsteps on the stairs made her stop.   
  
She looked around wildly before shoving Endymion into the little hidden closet behind her bed that housed her drawings. She managed to slid the door shut and push Endymion's violin under the bed just as Ryan walked in.   
  
"Sweetheart, what are you doing home so early?" she asked in what she hoped sounded like a normal tone.   
  
Ryan did a little hop as he dodged the pieces of glass littered around the bedroom. He gave a confused look at the carpet and broken vanity before his gaze settled upon Usagi.  
  
He took a swift glance over her disheveled appearance and swollen lips.   
  
"Well I have a doctor's appointment later this afternoon. I'm getting a vasectomy," he replied skeptically.   
  
Usagi tried to keep her voice even.   
  
"A vasectomy?" she asked softly.  
  
"Yes, at least we'll save money on condoms."  
  
Endymion tried to regulate his breathing. Usagi had not managed to close the door all the way and he could just barely see Ryan through the crack as he moved around the bedroom, hands in his pockets.   
  
Ryan gave Usagi a small smile, before yanking up the comforter on their large bed, searching underneath it. Although he did not find Endymion, he did find something very interesting.   
  
"What would this be darling?" Ryan asked in false sweetness.   
  
Endymion's heart jumped to his throat.   
  
"Well, sweetheart, it looks to me like a violin," she replied with a smile.   
  
"A violin? A VIOLIN. I know what the bloody hell it is, but what I do not know is what it is doing underneath my bed!"  
  
"Uhm...I was...learning how to play it. You know to occupy my time because you're always gone. And good thing too. I'm going to have loads of free time now that I no longer have a job,"   
  
"You were trying to learn how to play the violin? Oh that's rich. Honey, you can't even learn how to turn on the stove, how are you going to the play the violin?" he asked mockingly.  
  
Usagi's face burned with shame.   
  
"So, this violin means nothing to you?" he asked.  
  
"Well...it was slightly expensive," she chose her words carefully.   
  
"Hmm..well I'm glad my hard earned money goes to entertaining your fancies," he scoffed.   
  
Usagi didn't bother to contradict that she had also worked before today.   
  
"So it wouldn't matter to you, if I just got rid of it, you really don't need anymore distractions," Ryan asked smoothly holding the violin by the fireplace.  
  
It was all Endymion could do to hold himself back from throwing himself upon Ryan and saving the only possession he had of his mother.   
  
But he knew he couldn't. If he revealed himself it would be like signing Usagi's death certificate. It was all he could do to hope that Usagi would find some way to save it.   
  
Usagi locked her eyes with Ryan, trying desperately not to shift her glance towards Endymion's location.   
  
"It means nothing," she said coldly.   
  
Ryan gave her a twisted smile before he threw into the flames. The fire rose up, engulfing the cherry wood and casting eerie shadows around the room.   
  
Usagi's face remained stoic as Endymion quietly perished in the small closet along with his most beloved possession.   
  
He watched as he saw his instrument and soul burn. Love was unselfish.  
  
Endymion stretched is cramped legs. Usagi had let him out of the closet when the coast was clear. He moved away from her soundlessly. He had nothing to stay.   
  
He walked down the street, the cool evening air brushing his midnight locks away from his eyes. The sky above darkened with an impending thunderstorm, matching his mood. What was love anyway? He was beginning to realize it was a waste of time. He looked up at the sky, as a raindrop landed onto his nose. He continued walking, face to the heavens, until he collided with a soft body.   
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," he replied uncaringly as he bent down to help the person pick up their scattered books and papers.   
  
"Oh no, it's fine, I wasn't watching where I was going either," the young girl answered, blushing prettily.   
  
Suddenly a carnal desire rose up within. The pain and hurt mingled with the now increasing rain as he drunk in the sight of her short brown hair which curled under chin, and shirt that cut down low enough to reveal the curve of her breasts.   
  
"I knocked into you, let me get you drink, we can both get out of the rain," he answered flashing a charming smile.   
  
"Oh..goodness, okay," she replied smitten.   
  
Usagi knelt down beside the ashes of Endymion's violin. She picked up the delicate dust, reveling in its feel upon her fingertips. Her life, her marriage, and the one relationship that had made her happy lay in the ashes.   
  
Usagi glanced at her reflection in the broken shards, her face tear-stained and sooty. Endymion had sacrificed the one thing that meant the most to him for her. That was love. And she would be damned if she let that get away. Yes her father had cheated on her mother, but her mother had always told her that everyone gets at least one chance at love, and that she would die happy if her only daughter had found and taken that chance. Usagi stared at the picture of her lovely mother upon the bed stand.   
  
"I made a lot of mistakes Mommy, but at least I won't have to live with this one," she whispered as she got to her feet, and headed towards another gift that Endymion had given her.   
  
"Is next Thursday a good time Mr. Black," the secretary asked as she began typing rapidly at her desk.   
  
"Thursday would be splendid," Ryan replied giving the cute brunette a little wink before collecting his medical information and walking out the door.   
  
The violin was the last straw. He was almost positive that he had caught Usagi, and if he hadn't well then she was a faithful bitch and kudos to her. But this had to end now. He had flown too close to the sun, and he was going to get burnt. He was ending this charade now, before his wife fell in love with a certain violinist who had deep feelings for her.   
  
"What an asshole, falling in love. Didn't he know that he couldn't win?" Ryan thought to himself.   
  
In the game of life love is not the winning weapon, manipulation is.  
  
Ryan whipped out his cell phone and dialed a familiar number.  
  
"Hey, meet me at Café Centro at seven. Hopefully, that'll be the last time you'll ever see me."   
  
"Oh my God Usagi, what happened to you?" Mina asked incredulously as she ushered her disheveled friend inside.   
  
"Mina, who is it?" a deep male voice asked from the bedroom, "if it isn't important get your hot ass back in here sweetheart."  
  
Mina had the courtesy to blush.  
  
"It's Usagi," she called back.   
  
"Oh, I see you're busy, I'll come back," Usagi said flustered.   
  
"Don't be silly, Malachite can wait," she replied as she pushed Usagi down on the couch.  
  
"Mina, I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life. I'm in love Mina, and this time I think I got it right. But I don't think he'll ever forgive me," she explained trying to hold back the tears.   
  
"Well Usagi, Malachite always told me that all you needed in a relationship was love. If Endymion sees how much you truly care for him, everything else will seem trivial," she replied reassuringly.   
  
"I thought all you needed was trust," she replied bitterly.  
  
"If you love someone then you trust them," Mina said simply.  
  
"How did you know it was Endymion?" she asked between sniffles.  
  
"I'm your best friend. And besides I'm pretty sure you're not talking about Ryan," Mina answered with a snort.   
  
Usagi laughed slightly.   
  
"You know, I really feel for the first time since my mother died that I have control over my life," Usagi replied with a weak smile.   
  
"Yeah..." Usagi sighed as she gazed outside the window as the sun was beginning to break through the stormy sky.  
  
Endymion placed the phone back onto his cradle. Oh how payback was a bitch. Usagi was about to get her just desserts. Endymion headed towards the shower, throwing a look to the tousled brunette now sleeping in his bed. It was so incredibly easy. He had just said a few charming words, a few touches, and before he knew it she was pinned beneath him, screaming his name to the heavens. And he had gotten such a thrill; he didn't know how it could be better.  
  
"Hmm..where are you going?" a groggy voice answered from in between the pillows.  
  
"I'm getting a shower. Here's some money for a cab, leave whenever you please," Endymion said, nonchalantly tossing a few bills beside her on the bed. Her hazel eyes locked with his, and he saw all the pain that swirled within his soul reflected in her eyes.  
  
It had just gotten better.  
  
Ryan walked into the house to find Usagi in the bathroom, scrubbing her face.  
  
"Good get ready; we're going out to celebrate. I got a date for my operation," he said to her before closing the bathroom door.  
  
"Oh we'll be celebrating," Usagi thought bitterly as she splashed cool water onto her face, "our divorce."  
  
Usagi sipped at her wine pensively, trying to find the best way to break the news to Ryan. Mina and she had decided it would be best to do it in a public place and with support. She played out many fulfilling fantasies in her mind, all including a completely crushed Ryan and an accepting and horny Endymion, who would welcome her back and fuck her until her body could take no more.   
  
However, she was broken from her reverie as the man from her daydreams was suddenly standing in front of her.   
  
"Endymion, sit down," Ryan motioned to a chair in front of him.  
  
Usagi's head began to spin. Endymion and Ryan, friends?!  
  
The moment Endymion laid eyes upon Usagi, all his venom vanished. Love was forgiving. And even though he tried to fight it, he still loved her.  
  
Ryan savored the moment. If Usagi had in fact fallen for this man, she would despise him after she discovered that he was merely a pawn in his game. None of his declarations of love could repair the damage and lost trust. He would always win.  
  
"I admit that I had an alternative motive for this meeting. Usagi you deserve to know the truth. This man was hired by me to test your faithfulness, because I know you so desperately want a baby, but we both you would never be competent enough to take care of a child, it would be unfair to the baby. Every word he ever spoke to you, every caress, every statement of love, was lie. Let's just hope that you passed the test Usagi, because if not, I will be forced to limit some of your freedoms...dreadful as it is," he said calmly.  
  
Endymion's blood boiled. Ryan did have it worked out. Nothing he could say could change   
  
Usagi mind. But he had to try.   
  
Usagi sat quivering in her seat. Endymion was going to expose her, he had never loved her, and now...ooh..now. She cast a nervous glance towards her husband. She could never get away. She would never be allowed to be in a public place, and if she would try to divorce him privately, she secretly knew she would end up with Endymion's mother. A small smile crossed her lips. Endymion was going to get his revenge.   
  
"Usagi..please listen..." Endymion pleaded with her.  
  
"I do not have any desire to hear what you have to say," Usagi replied softly. Her heart and hopes had already fallen and broke when she heard Ryan's words, and discovered that Endymion's love was lie. Like everything else in this world. Love was lie.  
  
"So that's it. After I had forgiven her for the unthinkable, she won't even listen to a word I have to say," Endymion thought bitterly as he gazed at the blonde hair beauty sitting tensely across from him.   
  
He could destroy her now, but a familiar feeling rose within him. He would do her one last favor. For his mother.   
  
"She was completely faithful. Sorry to tell you but she refused all of my advances. I even bought her a violin that she kept under her bed. I thought that I could try to seduce through lessons, but it was to no avail. You have yourself a good wife Ryan," Endymion said softly.  
  
Usagi looked up, unable to believe her ears. He had once again performed a completely unselfish act.   
  
"Goodbye Usako," he whispered to her as he slipped a piece of paper into her hand.  
  
He turned and walked away down the empty Tokyo streets.   
  
She wanted to call after him, but her voice wouldn't work. And she knew that this wasn't a fairytale, there was too much hurt, too much pain for their relationship to ever be what is once was. Too many lies, too much deception.  
  
She felt the warm touch of her husband's hand against her thigh.   
  
But oh, Ryan was in for a surprise. Endymion had left her one last chance at happiness and freedom. And she would be damned if she would let it pass her by. Ryan and the world were about to see a brand new Usagi.  
  
I know you guys probably hate me, but the story is not over yet. Please review! I'm trying to reach 200! 


	10. In the Moment of the Meantime

AUTHOR'S NOTE IMPORTANT   
  
Wow I know it's been a while since I updated. But now I promise it will be more regular. I just want to warn all of you that this is just to catch everyone up on what happened since it's been awhile. You might want to go back and read previous chapters. So please don't send flames because you don't think there was enough action. I don't think I adequately described the emotional aspects as I should have in the last chapter. But now I am attempting to do so in this chapter and later chapters. Also this chapter is very dark, so if you like fluffy happiness you won't be finding it here. This is the darkest chapter, but I assure you it will get lighter. Enjoy.   
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sailor Moon but the storyline and all other characters are of my creation  
  
RATED: R for strong sexuality, drug use, and language  
  
Trust Between the Covers  
  
Chapter 10: In the Moment of the Meantime  
  
Usagi sat pensively behind the intimidating polished wooden desk which had become her second home. Her face screwed in concentration as she fixed minor imperfections to the sketch of the seemingly perfect room.   
  
She was designing the bedroom for Tokyo's supreme socialite's first child. In modern times, she was designing the room for the next Princess. Usagi had always wanted a girl. With a sigh she threw her long blonde hair back, long blonde hair which almost always remained down, and whirled around in her chair to survey her empire, the tiny lights blinking at her through her expansive 35th floor window.   
  
She heaved herself out of her leather companion and leaned against the window. It seemed like the last two years had been two millennia ago. Correction: it would be two years this Friday. Two years since she left her husband, burying him 7 months later, and the start of The World According to Usagi, the now rising premiere interior decorating service in Tokyo.   
  
"But it didn't get there by me lazing around," Usagi sighed at herself as she glanced at the clock. The unholy digits glared mockingly back at her.   
  
"Hmm...I know I had a great idea for window dressings in my old photos..." she mumbled to herself, trying unsuccessfully to ignore the pain of her old childish hopes.   
  
She heaved the dusty box unto the desk, pulling files out haphazardly; however she stopped in mid pull as a photo fell silently upon the carpeted floor. Usagi peered over the edge of the desk. Stormy blue eyes and hair as dark as the night outside met her gaze unwavering.   
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! YES!" she heaved, her back arching almost a foot off the bed as she looked up at stormy eyes and hair as dark as the night.   
  
His stony gaze met hers unwavering. His jaw set tight, he continued his furious pace, as the woman below him (he hadn't caught her name) moaned rather unattractively. With a final thrust, and a guttural growl he softened inside her, quickly rolling off her slick form.   
  
"God I knew those hands could be put to better use than a violin," she giggled at her own self-imagined wit.   
  
"Moronic whore," Endymion breathed softly as he threw on his boxers, the moonlight catching off the frames around his New York Penthouse, one of his more permanent residences.   
  
He passed without a glance at the articles praising his god-given talent, his sold-out performances, and his newly discovered fortune. An agent had seen his show at Tokyo two years ago, and it was the path to hell as Endymion put it ever since.   
  
He slid the door to his deck noiselessly and surveyed his empire beneath him. He had the whole fucking city in his hands. He sighed as he ran a hand through his thick ebony hair. The sun was trying to rise in the distance.   
  
"Time to meet the fucking day."  
  
He waltzed into the room and threw money for a cab fare unto the girl's form. Endymion smiled at the term.   
  
"Well she sure as hell ain't a girl anymore," he thought bitterly as his mind flashed for a second back to a couple of hours earlier when he nearly tore her apart.   
  
She rustled, and took the money silently. She had not expected him to let her stay. Everyone in the civilized world knew Endymion Shields was as cold-hearted as his ice blue eyes.   
  
Amy picked up her 1 and half year-old son as he reached for the shiny violin stationed at its sacred place upon the mantle. His blue eyes welled with tears. She chided him softly.   
  
"I don't know what your obsession with that thing is," she sighed exasperated, but she secretly hoped he had an ambition to become a musician.   
  
She placed her son down, and reached gingerly for the polished instrument. She gently ran her fingers over the curved signature, and her mind briefly wondered of what happened to its owner before she redirected her attention to her child who was now attempting to knock over a trashcan.   
  
Endymion smeared the white powder over the dresser with shaky hands as he attempted to gain a good look at himself in the mirror as the first rays of sun cast shadows upon his gaunt and tired reflection. Even the abuse of drugs and alcohol could not ravage his astonishing good looks. Endymion breathed harshly....the dark circles...the strong jaw..in his drunken and coke induced stupor he looked just like his father. Endymion grabbed his head and tried to shake it of its haunting images. He hated his father. He hated Monique. He hated Ryan. Oh by Satan how he hated HER. He hated how she made him love, how she made him believe, how she gave him hope. But most of all he hated what he had become. What SHE had made him become.   
  
Usagi gripped the picture with shaking fingers. She wanted with every fiber in her being to tear it. But she couldn't find the strength. She was still memorized by his soulful eyes, strong jaw, and careless hair. He had saved her. He had saved her from physical abuse; he had saved her from emotional and spiritual deterioration. He had sacrificed everything for her. He was her angel. And she hated him. She hated him for his lies, his charm, and the way he had set her body and soul aflame, and how his image still appeared in her dreams at night, often still lingering in the daylight. But most of all, she loved him. No matter how often she denied it, rationalizing it in psychoanalytic perspective, she loved him. Because at one time, she knew without lies, he had loved her.  
  
Rei stared without looking at the dying fire as her fiancée Jedite ran his fingers softly over her collarbone. Her engagement ring caught the soft glow of the flame, and she wondered if the man who was responsible for her bliss had found his peace. She smiled softly. She was sure he had, Usagi was never good for him.  
  
Endymion lay on his back, face to the ceiling. Images swam before his eyes, brought about by his cloudy mind. He smiled absent-mindly as pictures of his lovely mother were presented before him. Her brunette hair fell around her, and her beautiful melodic voice assaulted his senses. He mouthed the words to the song of his favorite lullaby. He had always been afraid of the dark. Always.   
  
Dark Night. Hold Tight.  
  
Sleep tight my baby  
  
Morning light   
  
Shall burst bright  
  
And keep us here safely  
  
Silent tears ran down gaunt cheeks as his heart gave a painful jab, as the image of his mother was replaced by his most prized possession being engulfed by flames. That's all that was left of his life and love of her: ashes.  
  
Motoki wiped the counter mechanically, as one of the large screen television re-played an interview with a certain raven-haired musician. It was concerning his cancellation of a tour to Tokyo. And Motoki had a slight inkling as to what, or should say he say who, was the cause. He sighed as tidied up some glasses. It had been another booming night as his restaurant In Bloom. He smiled as a memory of long ago slipping through the cracks. He wished he would call or leave a message, but he sadly knew that the man who dwelled behind those stunning blue eyes was no longer the man that Motoki had grown up with. He turned his attention to the screen.   
  
"Well I'm sure this news of cancellation is disappointing to many fans, but still you're life has been quite the inspiration to many. You could almost say your life has been sort of a fairytale," the reporter said good-naturedly.  
  
Endymion's breathtaking smile faltered for a second.   
  
"Well I can certainly say it plays out like a novel or screenplay, a fairytale I'm not quite sure," he quipped.   
  
Motoki winced at the bitterness in his voice and thought to the time when Endymion believed in happy endings.  
  
Minako sat with her still fiancée Malachite, once again going over the guest list for the wedding. There were to be wed almost a year ago, but the death of her maid of honor's husband of AIDS came as quite a shock, and she was not going to have a wedding after a funeral and divorce. Minako remembered with a slightly cynical smile to when Usagi said that never before would she think that she would be thankful to Ryan for always insisting on wearing a condom. Yes those days were hard..but she'd rather think of happier things at the moment.   
  
"I think we should invite him," Malachite persisted.  
  
"I just don't think it would be a good idea to invite Endymion to the wedding," Minako replied once again reigniting the familiar argument.  
  
"I wanted him to be my best man," he whined.  
  
"That's rich. Yes, let's have your best man be someone who you haven't seen in almost two years," she bit back.  
  
"There's something else bothering you Mina. You liked Endymion fine when you first met him," he probed.   
  
"It's just that I don't think Usagi's quite over him yet. I don't think it would be wise, sparks could fly," Minako conceded, choosing her words carefully.  
  
"Pshaw. She's been going with that Seiya fellow for almost a year. Haha, I wouldn't be surprised if you were a maid of honor shortly after being a bride," he said smiling.  
  
Minako gave him an exasperated look.   
  
"Endymion's been dead to Usagi for a long time. Trust me. It's been the end of their relationship for quite some time," he said pompously.  
  
Minako sighed as she grabbed a pen. No one ever found out why Endymion left, and she even thought Usagi was skeptical upon the circumstances, but Usagi guarded those secrets close to her heart. With a thousand unanswered questions swarming her mind, she dotted the "i" on Endymion's invitation with the foreboding feeling that it wasn't the end of their relationship but only the beginning.  
  
Wheew. I once again apologize for the wait. Thanks for the reviews. They have been great. I promise that the next chapter will be considerably longer, and lighter. Remember, you can't have shadow without lights. The lullaby Endymion sung was taken by an absoulutely enchanting song by Eisely called "Marvelous Things." 


	11. Don't Let the Days Go By

Here's the next chapter. Thanks for all the reviews! Also this should be about the time that it should take for the next chapter to come out. Also there is very strong sexuality in this chapter. Reader beware.  
  
RATED: R for sexuality and language.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sailor Moon but the storyline and all original characters are from my own imagination.  
  
Trust Between the Covers  
  
Chapter 11: Don't Let the Days Go By  
  
Usagi gasped softly as her hand tried to find stability on the slippery surface of her mahogany desk. Her supple body arched upwards as a slender hand ran a familiar path from her calf to her thigh, teasing her panty line before pulling the obstacle past her ankles and off her feet. Her eyes closed as her body made contact with the cool surface, relaxing the muscles in her legs as they were slowly pulled apart and the hem of her skirt was raised past her hip.   
  
She allowed a sharp intake of breath to pass from her lips as she felt him enter her, her most inner muscles contracting around his length. She initiated the rhythm, her hips and ass rising about a half a foot off her workspace. She turned her face from him, her breathing even and deep. She would not admit it to herself but she was actually mildly bored as she watched her knuckles gradually turn white as she held her firm grip upon the desk. Her breathing became quicker and more desperate as her body responded free from her mind. She closed her eyes, waiting for the temporary bliss. Mistake. She moaned, not gasped this time, as visions of sinewy skin and dark blue eyes permeated her thoughts. She could almost feel his sweaty body as it moved with hers and hear the soft erotic growls spoken in a foreign tongue.   
  
"Oh God!" came a voice, certainly not from her own throat. She had not made a noise like that for two years.  
  
Seiya let out a low groan before pulling out his flaccid member from her.   
  
"God baby do I really make you that hot," he said with laugh, giving her butt a soft pat before redoing his ponytail.   
  
She gave him a small smile as she readjusted her skirt.   
  
"Well thank you for the pick-me-up. Shall I still see you at eight for dinner?" he asked straightening his tie.  
  
"Of course." I'll leave early just for you," she replied sweetly.  
  
"Oh Oh. You know you have captured Usagi's heart when she agrees to leave before nine o'clock for you," he answered genuinely pleased.   
  
Usagi gave him a bemused look. His joke not far from the truth.   
  
"I'll see you at eight," she said firmly ushering him towards the door.  
  
She shut the door to her office with a sigh. She had been seeing Seiya everyday for almost a year. Things were becoming serious.  
  
"That's why it's even more imperative that I forget," she thought to herself as she settled herself down to her work, genuinely confused as to why she could not get a certain dark-haired violinist out of her head.

Endymion sipped his cappuccino slowly as he flipped through his mail, a bored expression gracing his astonishing features.   
  
"What's this?" he asked to the uncaring room as he fingered a letter with a return address to Tokyo.   
  
He opened the envelope with shaky fingers. The thick paper felt good upon his fingertips. He swiftly read the curvy handwriting. He snorted in disgust before throwing the invitation back upon the table.   
  
"Petty gesture," he thought bitterly.   
  
"Although I stole the love of your life from you, I was hoping that you could celebrate as I marry the girl that caused me to leave your beloved after one month of great fucking. No hard feelings. Under the rug swept," Endymion mocked in a falsely sweet voice to the cold and silent room.   
  
He sat pensive, a cigarette hanging from his sensuous lips, for a moment trying to think of the best way to reply. Somewhere along the lines of "go fuck yourselves" but with more class. He could not simply ignore the invitation; they had to know he had received it. Suddenly, a wicked, devious, wonderfully spiteful idea brought itself to Endymion's attention. A satisfied smirk crossed his face as he reached for his phone, his long fingers poised to dial RSVP number, when a shrill ring issued from the object a few inches from his face, giving him quite a start.  
  
"Hello?" he answered firmly.  
  
"Endymion Shields?" a strange voice said on the other line.  
  
"This is he," he answered self-assured with a hint of suspiciousness.  
  
"This is New York City Police Department. We just a got a message from the law enforcement in Italy. They wouldn't say much, those Italians, but they want you to take the next flight down there ASAP. No excuses," said the brisk masculine voice.   
  
"I am not ordered to go anywhere," he answered coolly.  
  
"Well I can't force you to go. They don't have a warrant or really anything. Like I said those damn Italians were secretive like. Wouldn't say much. Just said it would be in your best interest to get down there. Said it would be a lot harder on you if you didn't comply. Didn't seem like they were really out to get ya or anything. Almost seemed like they just wanted a friendly chat. Said they got a call from a place called Mangi. Got transferred to them, got transferred to us..." the man continued on but Endymion stopped listening after "Mangi." Only four people still living knew where he had grown up. All the reporters after his sudden fame assumed he was from America or Europe, no one would ever think of a little cliff town off the coast of Italy. It probably wasn't even on a map.  
  
"Thank you, sir" Endymion replied trying to keep his voice steady.  
  
He hung up without waiting for a reply and dialed the number for his travel agent. His scheme for the invitation completely pushed out of his mind.

Usagi stared blankly at the white walls of her shower. The steamy water pounding in her ears. She loved her apartment in the heart of Tokyo. Although luxurious and elite it was not too large, and decorated modern but not cold. Usagi's trademark style. She scrubbed her blonde hair thoroughly trying to wash away thoughts of him. She had barely given him a second thought when he left. But then she had other things to occupy her mind...  
  
She shuddered at the memories of the first few months after Endymion had left. But she would not think about them. Right now they were to stay locked in the dark corners of her mind. She smiled softly. Now Endymion was not the only one with dark secrets. She sighed angrily at herself. She had just thought about him again. She supposed it was because of her growing intense relationship with Seiya. Yes the sex was fine, yes the outings were fine. But that was it. They lacked passion.   
  
"Oh well he's good to me. My relationship with Ryan had passion, and look where that led me," she thought bitterly.   
  
She ran an absent-minded hand over her barren thirty-four year-old stomach, and closed her eyes.   
  
FLASHBACK  
  
"Look at the stars and how they shine for you, and all the things that you do," Endymion sung to her hoarsely.   
  
She smiled and snuggled deeper into his chest as they swung lazily on her hammock, the crisp spring night air causing goose bumps on their skin.  
  
She looked up at the velvety endless sky, the silver diamonds winking at her.  
  
"Are you making a wish?" his husky voice brought her back from her reverie.  
  
"No...I was just thinking of the future," she replied non-chalantly.  
  
"Hmm..well I'll tell you about the future," he said placing a warm kiss in the concave of her neck.  
  
"You'll live in the south of Italy, spending some of the summer in France. You'll have a large lovely home that smells like cinnamon in the winter and jasper in the summer with a large yard for the children to catch lightening bugs as you watch from the porch. They'll be a girl and a boy. The girl with hair that mocks the sun like her mother's, and a younger boy who will have dark brooding eyes and hair, like his father. At night you'll sit there as the children's laughs blend with the crickets and the soft sounds of the violin as your husband, your lover, tells through notes of his undying love for you."  
  
Usagi's throat tightened at the description of the lovely picture.   
  
"Oh Endymion that sounds like a fairytale," she replied softly.   
  
"Darling who says life can't be fairytale," Endymion said with a smile.   
  
"Once upon a time will be someday soon," he whispered he the swayed the hammock slowly.  
  
END FLASHBACK

Usagi turned the water off violently.   
  
It was nothing but that: fiction. Although no matter how hard she tried to convince herself of his cruel lies, she knew that he had believed them, and that his hopes and turned to ash that fateful day....

Endymion tried to fight the feeling that was making his heart tighten as he drove down the familiar roads. He was home.  
  
Endymion checked his watch. He had about a half hour before he had to meet the detectives at Mangi's quaint courthouse which also served as a jail. He sighed as he took a sharp left, his hands and feet involuntarily leading him to face his demons.   
  
Endymion slowly got out of the large black SUV he had rented. He never drove sports car unlike most of his peers. He still stood by his notion that men who drove fast cars were lacking in other departments. And he was certainly not lacking. He walked to the barren field where the crumbling foundation of a house still stood. He touched the ground tentatively. It was warm under his fingers from the afternoon sun. He closed his eyes as he ran a hand over the derelict concrete.   
  
"NO! STOP! Please, please, please, please, please..." his mother's voice replayed in his mind over and over.   
  
He had had the house which had witnessed his boyhood bulldozed to the ground a year earlier. Unfortunately his haunting memories and the house's crumbling foundation still remained.

Endymion walked into the courthouse with his usual swagger.   
  
The two detectives looked up with smiles.  
  
"Signore Endymion Shields?" the younger asked.   
  
"Io ricevuto il tuo messagio," Endymion said, his first language coming back, flowing easily over his tongue.   
Translation: I received your message  
  
"Tu sei una leggenda a Mangi," the younger one spoke again.   
Translation: You are a legend in Mangi  
  
Endymion shrugged, "Tu dici."  
Translation: It's what you say.  
  
"Signore Shields, la tua leggenda si diventata molte interessante," the older detective finally spoke. His words echoed forebodingly in the small dusty room.  
Translation: Mr. Shields your legend is about to become more interesting.  
  
"Vieni con mi."  
Translation: Come with me.

They rode in silence. Although Mangi was a very small town, Endymion had never been in these parts. They were reserved for the poorest of the poor.   
  
He followed the two detectives into a very shabby apartment building crammed between an equally rundown housing building and a shop which adorned a sign boasting of "belle donne pronte piace"  
  
Endymion walked through the dank hallway which was lit by only one uncovered bulb. He grimaced as he could hear the unmistakably sounds of fucking in a room as he passed. The door was left open without shame. He caught a glimpse of a rather slight woman, her legs pushed roughly into the air and spread apart revealing her most sensitive area as a man stood before the bed, pulling her legs farther apart and pounding into her unmercifully. Unfortunately he followed the detectives into the next room. Endymion scrunched his nose in disgust as he looked around the dingy surroundings. The room was small with no window, the carpet dark and dirty. He could see a small kitchen with yellow appliances and through an open door he could see a small bedroom which contained a small bed with an ugly floral print bedspread. The walls were paper thin. He could still hear the old mattress squeaking and the mans vulgar comments.   
  
"Tu piace il mio gallo grande?"   
Translation: Do you like my large cock?  
  
"Questa maniera," the detective said, obviously trying to ignore the lewd acts occurring a door down, motioning towards the bedroom.   
Translation: This way  
  
Endymion followed skeptically. He took an immediate right into a cramped bathroom before he got a good look at the rest of the room.   
  
Endymion's jaw dropped and his face turned ashen at the sight presented before him.

"Hello?" Usagi answered the phone impatiently. She still needed to dry her hair and Seiya was due any minute.  
  
"Usagi?"  
  
"Hey Mina," she sighed at the familiar voice.  
  
"Uhm I need to talk to you," she said slowly.  
  
"Ugh Mina is it important?" she asked as she bounced on the balls of her feet.  
  
"It's about Endymion."

Before him lay Monique's twisted and almost skeletal form. Her legs were at an odd angle, one dangling out of the bathtub where her form had taken its final resting place. Her hips jut out plainly and Endymion was able to easily count each of her ribs from his spot in the doorway. Her pert breasts seemed to quiver before him below her prominent collarbone. It was all Endymion was able to do to raise his gaze to her blue lips which were parted slightly, almost as in a silent plea for redemption. Her brown doe eyes stared blankly ahead as her raven black hair was tossed over her slender shoulders and pale cheeks. Endymion's stomach lurched as he noticed her arms which laid limp at her side. A trail of crimson led from her small wrists to the stained floor of the bathtub. He closed his eyes as he tried to fight an intruding memory.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
"I see you have a shower radio. Clever. The shower can be such a lonely place. Nothing but blank walls with the pounding water and yourself in your most vulnerable state. Nothing is hidden and your thoughts are your only company. Can almost make you go crazy, can't it Darien?" she asked in a far away voice, her eyes flitting and resting momentarily on the scar gracing his wrist.   
  
"I just enjoy listening to music everywhere," he replied, slightly defensively.  
  
"Hmm...Sometimes it's good to be with your thoughts. They're always there waiting for you, you have to pay attention to them eventually," she said nonchalantly.  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
"Lei e' familiare?" one of the detectives asked.  
Translation: Is she familiar?  
  
"Si, Si. Io ho conscuto da lungo fa tempo," Endymion managed to choke out.  
Translation: Yes, Yes. I knew her from long ago.  
  
"Lei ha parta una lettera," the older detective said giving him a faded piece of paper.  
Translation: She left a letter.  
  
Endymion took it with trembling fingers and read the words swiftly:  
  
Am I correct to defend the fist that holds this pen?  
It's ink that lies,  
the pen, the page, the paper.  
I live, I learn.  
You will always take what I have earned.  
And so aid my end while I believe I'm winning.  
Our friends speak out in our defense.  
I pay ten deaf ears for two months rent.  
We burn the gallows they erect,  
and cut the nooses they tie for our necks.  
You constantly make it impossible to make conversation.  
Keep us comatose but audible.  
And I like it the farther I get out.  
We pass it off but it's all on us.  
Only common conversation,  
it took everything I got.  
And I like it the farther I get out.  
Once said, always said.  
I will hold the past over your head.  
I'll speak my mind whenever I feel slighted.  
We slip concealed back to the keep.   
We prey as wolves among the sheep   
And slit the necks of soldiers while they sleep.  
I am hell-bent on extracting all of my revenge.  
So take heart, sweetheart, or I will take it from you.  
  
Endymion glanced quickly back up at the detectives who were now wearing strange smiles. He thought back for a second to the way Monique looked when he told her that it was over. He could never, would never, forget the crushed soul peering back at him through liquid brown eyes.  
  
I am hell-bent on extracting all of my revenge....

Endymion drove quickly over the bumpy road, the gravel like his fragile soul protesting in pain. The last hour spent in the detectives' cluttered office buzzed around his head like a television program in which he could not shut off. The first shocker was the Monique had AIDS. Endymion shuddered thinking that only a thin layer of rubber separated him from pleasure and death. Although it really didn't matter much now...  
  
From every angle it looked like suicide to him, but the detective said that they could not directly rule it as such because there was no clear cut note. Just that letter in which Monique had addressed to him.  
  
"Another letter to haunt me forever," he thought bitterly.  
  
And to his surprise there was another piece of the puzzle in which had caused the detectives to not just think of suicide, but murder. And that interesting piece of information lay innocently on the leather seat beside him. It contained a name and address.   
  
"I should have known you would have never let me live in peace, even in your death," he said wearily.   
  
However his heart ached for his fallen love and a new guilt burned in his breast for abandoning her in her time of need.

Endymion knocked firmly on the door to a quaint but well-kept flat.   
  
"Hello?" a woman in her late thirties answered in a heavily Italian accent.   
  
"Oh yes, you must be Signore Shields," she said allowing him access.   
  
Endymion gave her a swift sweeping glance.  
  
She had short dark curly hair which was placed closed to her head, the thick curls just long enough to graze her cheek. She was of dark complexion and slim figure but had blazing green eyes and small but firm breasts which strained against the fabric of her low-cut top.   
  
Endymion sighed. Well at least she spoke English.  
  
"You seem to know my name, however, I am unaware of yours," Endymion said softly yet in control as his blue eyes locked with her green.   
  
"Oh I know much more about you than just your name," she replied wickedly, flashing him a devious smile.

"Name. Name. Name. Oh my fucking God, what's the name," Usagi's mind frantically shouted at her as she gripped the back of the man on top of her. She vaguely recalled that she should be shouting out someone's name right now but at the moment the only thing that felt right on her tongue was "Endymion."  
  
"Hmm, I think it starts with a "T"...or maybe an "S"..." her mind tried to recall.   
  
She instinctively matched his strokes, her hips banging against his.  
A familiar pleasure arose from the friction. But that's all it was. Familiar. Ordinary. Mediocre.  
Usagi's breath caught in her throat as she let out a muffled moan.   
The man gently rolled off of her and lovingly brushed her blonde bangs away from her cerulean eyes.  
  
A small smile played upon his lips.  
  
"Are you okay darling," he asked softly.  
  
"Seiya!" her mind reminded her with a start  
  
"Hmm, Seiya, love I'm fine. Just a tad tired. Tonight was beautiful though," she added as an afterthought as she noticed the drop in his smile.  
  
"Yes, it was beautiful," he said, as though trying to validate her statement for he could see that it was not true in her eyes.  
  
Usagi met his searching glance. She sighed inwardly. She should be happy with Seiya. He was a quite successful suit designer, and his band which was a side project actually had some potential. It was just...just...oh saying it would only make it true.  
  
"Usagi what's on your mind? Let me in, please," Seiya pleaded softly.  
  
Usagi once again met his gaze. She could never tell anyone about Endymion, but another pressing problem somehow pushed itself through her bruised lips.  
  
"I want a baby," she said sternly.  
  
Seiya's body tensed as he jerked his head from its resting place next to hers.  
  
"Darling you're just starting your career," he replied as though the very idea was outlandish.  
  
"I'm thirty-four years old. It's now or never," she cried.  
  
"I don't think you realize how big of a commitment a child is. I want to travel. And make love without interruption," he said, now sitting completely upright.  
  
"Oh, so is that all I am to you? A hole to give you pleasure?" she asked bitterly.  
  
"Usagi! Must you always be so childish? You know of my feelings for you. I tell you everyday. Unfortunately I am not so sure about your feeling for me," he replied, a hysterical note entering his voice.  
  
"I am NOT childish!" she bit back angrily.  
  
"How can you take care of a child? You're not even mature enough to maintain a relationship. You're just a child in a woman's body" Seiya said exhausted.  
  
Usagi stared, her eyes laced with hurt, at the man in front of her. He no longer had long dark hair and a light complexion, but short blonde hair and tanned skin. She was staring at her husband.   
  
"Get out. Get out," she whispered softly.  
  
"God damnit Usagi, don't be this way," Seiya said annoyed.  
  
"Get out, GET OUT! You're just like him. You're just like him," she sobbed.   
  
Seiya gave her a wary look before gathering his clothes.  
  
"I'll call you in the morning when you're done your tantrum," he said softly.  
  
She gazed up at him, her eyes filled with loathing and tears.  
  
Ryan had always called her shows of emotion tantrums.  
  
"That's funny, I don't know a thing about you except that your name is Olivia Adronzci," he replied with an arched brow.   
  
"Hmm, you look exactly like I imagined you. You have your father's hair and build, but your mother's eyes and facial features," she went on ignoring his comment.   
  
Endymion's jaw tightened as it did when he became frustrated. He found this woman inexplicably frustrating, but also oddly sexual. He also did not appreciate being compared to his father. He had no father.  
  
"So just to entertain my fancy would you mind telling me as to how you got all this information concerning me," he asked trying to hide the venom in his voice.  
  
"Everyone knows about you. You're a legend here in Mangi," she replied flippantly.  
  
"Or so I hear," he said softly, his midnight eyes locking for a second with her emerald.  
  
"But what I still do not know is where the investigators gave me your name and address."  
  
"Well I see you're one to get straight to the point. Monique was quite bent with bitterness and of course anyone would offer a pretty penny to get a story concerning the talented famous, yet mysterious violinist who just seemed to emerge on the scene over night. What they don't know, however, is that he has a past as dark as his midnight locks," she finished with a smile.  
  
"A past as dark as his midnight locks?" he mimicked.  
  
"It's a line from my article and a damn clever one at that," she quipped.  
  
"So what you're pretty much saying is that Monique sold me out?" he asked impatiently.  
  
"Don't take it too harshly. She was down on her luck. However she was infatuated with you. And I can see why," Olivia finished huskily as she placed a small palm onto his knee.   
  
A dark expression crossed Endymion's features. There was one excellent way to get a woman to talk....  
  
"So lover is the article already published," Endymion asked between Olivia's gasps as he continued his depraved ministrations upon her body, nipping and sucking on her hard nipples as his large hard manhood rubbed against her wet slit, tantalizing teasing not entering.   
  
"Ah, uhm, it was going to be published here but I found out that I could get more for it," she moaned as she grabbed his ass trying to force him into her.   
  
He kissed her savagely as he spread her legs open.   
  
"Who did you sell it to?" he breathed, slowly putting the head of his penis into her opening.  
  
"It was to a woman in New York City, America," she gasped. With every word he pushed his pole in farther.  
  
"Give me a name lover," he goaded as he ran his tongue along the concave of her neck.   
  
"Manchester. Beryl Man-CHESTER!" she squealed as he put his full-length into her pumping furiously. He put in three good strokes before bringing her to a crashing orgasm. He watched amused as her chest heaved and her limbs failed.   
  
He pulled his still hard cock out of her now satisfied woman-hood.  
  
"Don't you want to finish off?" she asked as she watched him tuck his erect penis back into his boxers.  
  
"I've gotten all I need out of you," he replied non-chalantly.   
  
She looked at him with her piercing green eyes.   
  
"I believe that there are more secrets to you Endymion Shields then Monique revealed. No wonder a woman would want to have an affair with you. You're absolutely infatuating," she whispered softly.  
  
Endymion's back muscles tightened noticeably. Monique revealed the affair.  
  
A cynical smile played upon his lips as he looked at his recently conquered.   
  
"You have no idea."  
  
Endymion needed to make peace. For the last time. He dialed Mina's number quickly. To his relief the answering machine came on. He explained briefly that he would not be attending the wedding. It was too difficult yada yada yada. He then focused his attention on more pressing matters as he pressed the accelerator harder, driving faster to his fate.  
  
He had never been here before but his feet instinctively knew where to carry him.   
  
He stood before the stone monuments white-faced and tight-throat. With trembling fingers he placed a rose upon the dead earth. He looked up and stared into the uncaring eyes of the stone angel, her indifferent face mocking his own mortality. He ran his fingers over the engraving, as an old Italian saying pushed its way into his consciousness.  
  
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust  
  
If the Lord doesn't take you the devil must  
  
Endymion sat for awhile in front of his aunt and uncle's grave, as the sun cast eerie shadows across the stone figures and his equally stony face. With a callous heart he confronted the fact that he would never see his now holy relatives again. Nor his winged-mother. A smirk graced his full lips for a moment.   
  
If the Lord doesn't take you the devil must.  
  
Not even the devil wanted him. He would be taken to fire and brimstone out of necessity. His soul was as unwanted as his physical being.   
  
Endymion gripped the cross in which he had worn since Baptism tightly. The cool silver burning into his hot hand. With a heart-wrenching tug he broke the thin chain. With hands shaking from injustice, regret, and fury he placed the ornament, his soul, into the outstretched arms of the angel.   
  
He no longer had need of it.  
  
"Sorry Mina, I've been busy. Now what did you need to talk about," Usagi asked as she settled herself in her friend's apartment.   
  
"Okay Usagi, don't get mad but I invited Endymion to the wedding," she replied quickly.  
  
"Mina how could you!" she demanded, however a faint flame of hope burned in her chest.  
  
"Well don't get too mad Usagi because I just got his RSVP and he can't come," she finished lamely.  
  
Usagi tried to hide the frown forming at the corners of her mouth.  
  
"Is he too busy fucking bimbos?" she asked bitterly.  
  
"If you must know, he said that it's too difficult. Which translates into that he still cares for you Usagi," Mina sighed exasperated.   
  
"Well it's a little late. I no longer have feelings for him," she sniffed.   
  
"That's a lie and you and I both know it. You can't spend the rest of your life protecting your pride and hiding in fear. Don't let the days go by Usagi," she said softly.   
  
Usagi looked at her and sighed.   
  
"Well there's nothing I can do. I don't even know where he is, and he's not coming to the wedding," Usagi replied relenting.  
  
"Not uh. Kunzite got his address from Motoki and his most permanent residence is a flat in New York City. I say you go to him. No distance or obstacle is too great for true love," Mina said valiantly.  
  
"You're crazy," Usagi said simply.  
  
"Well I know if there was still a glimmer of hope that he cared I would go to the ends of the Earth. You think about it Usagi."  
  
Usagi sat in her apartment glumly. She was so confused. Yes she still cared for Endymion but the past was haunting. She smiled softly. Maybe Endymion did still care. He had always been a fucking hopeless romantic. She sat pensive for a moment as she listened to the melancholy music issuing from her stereo.

I'm never alone  
I'm alone all the time  
Are you at one, or do you lie  
I treated you bad, you bruise my face  
I couldn't love you more you've got a beautiful taste  
Bad move white again  
Bad move white again  
As she falls around me  
I needed you more when you wanted us less  
I could not kiss, just regress  
It might just be clear simple and plain  
Don't let the days go by  
Could've been easier on you  
I couldn't change though I wanted to  
It should have been easier by three  
Our old friend fear and you and me  
Don't let the days go by....

Endymion drove the winding roads quickly. He knew them like the back of his hand. He knew that right ahead was very sharp curve. This story was going to have an ending fitting to its plot. Tragic. Selfish. Dramatic. He pressed the accelerator harder.   
  
He saw the curve approaching quickly. He closed his eyes. However an unexpected image blazed in his mind and caused him to turn the wheel sharply.   
  
The tires squealed as the vehicle did a complete 360, stopping innocently in the middle of the road.   
  
Endymion groped for the handle and got out shakily. He collapsed to his knees, his heart beating quickly. He did not know why the image of golden hair and blue eyes had caused him to save his own life when those same features had caused him to abandon his one love and lose his hope. His breathing was still haggard as he looked at the ground his eyes burning. He hated her. He hated her. He hated her for making him want to live. The tears started falling down his cheeks, their salty taste in his mouth. He just wanted it to end. He wanted someone to love him. But there was no one.   
  
"My God, My God why have you forsaken me," he whispered over and over as he looked at the uncaring pavement.  
  
He hated her for making him want to live.  
  
Usagi played with the phone. She wanted desperately to call her travel agent and get tickets for New York. But oh if only she had a sign to show that he still cared.   
  
She bit her thumb in her thought until suddenly she shot off the couch, tripping in her haste. She rummaged through her desk drawers until she found the coveted piece of paper she was looking for. The piece of paper which Endymion had placed in her hand in parting two years ago. She had never opened it. She unfolded it quickly. She eyes rapidly read over the curvy elegant writing.   
  
A phone call I'd rather not receive.   
Please use my body while I sleep.   
My lungs are fresh and yours to keep,   
Kept clean and they will let you breathe.   
Is this the way a toy feels when its batteries run dry?   
I am the watch you always wear but you forget to wind.   
Nobody plans to be half a world away at times like these,   
So I sat alone and waited out the night.   
The best part of what has happened was the part I must have missed.  
I'm writing my goodbyes.   
I submit no excuse.   
If this is what I have to do   
I owe you every day I wake.   
If I could I would shrink myself   
And sink through your skin to your blood cells   
And remove whatever makes you hurt   
But I am too weak to be your cure.  
The best part of what has happened was the part I must have missed. I will keep you safe and sound.   
Does anybody remember back when you were very young.   
Did you ever think that you would be this blessed?  
  
It was horribly vague but that was typically Endymion. However, she saw a spark of love still burning. And as she dialed the number to gain tickets for her redemption she held close to the hope that he still loved her. She had to trust.  
  
Okay that's the end of this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it because it was my favorite one to write so far. Monique's letter is from a Brand New song and so is Endymion's. The song Usagi is listening to is "Glycerine" by Bush. Thanks for all the reviews!   
  
PinkMoonBeam


	12. Fake Plastic Love

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello, Sorry aboot the wait. Sincerest apologizes. Please do not send flames about the wait, or the length of this chapter. I am very busy applying to college. Thank you all who stuck with this story. However, please read the poems, they are crucial to the plotline. Now on with the story. 

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sailor Moon, but all plot-lines and original characters are of my own creation.

RATED: R for strong language and sexuality.

Trust Between the Covers

"Yes I need one ticket, first class to New York City. Thank you," he said curtly, his long elegant fingers slipping the sleek cell phone back into his low-fitting blank pants.

He needed to get out of this fucking city as soon as possible. Mangi, with its sunny shores and reflecting sea was as hypocritical as a certain blonde-haired whore, and like her the cliff-town belonged in the dark attic of his mind. He smiled. New York City was where he belonged, merged with the soul-less bodies wrapped in pressed suits.

Usagi twisted her hands nervously in her seat. She had never been to New York. However, she knew in her heart, and by the butterflies in her stomach, that fear-of-flying and a new city were not the causes of her nervousness. She had told Seiya that she was going on a business trip to speak with potential clients. She had said that she was hoping to expand her interior design business to an international level. She smiled to herself. The ruse of a business trip was so common, so easy to believe. No wonder Ryan utilized it for his adultery.

FLASHBACK

"So, you like being a whore do you? You are nothing but a filthy whore. I know you cheated on me, that violinist could not fool me with his transparent lies. Well if you want to be treated as whore, I'll damn well treat you like one," a beautiful man with tanned skin and emerald eyes breathed dangerously, never yelled, as he grabbed his delicate wife, pushing her roughly upon the bed, the sheets chaffing her cheeks, as he entered her ass roughly. She squealed in pain, her fingernails forming ruts in her palm which would never fully heal.

END FLASHBACK

Usagi blinked her eyes furiously, trying to erase the horrid images, but they seemed to be imprinted upon her eye-lids. She would never forget, but never fully remember, that year before Ryan's death and after Endymion left. She stared out at the passing clouds.The sky was a lovely shade of blue.

Endymion walked upon the streets of the lighted city, not fully there. He was with a pale body laying in a bathtub in a cheap room in a small town in Italy.

"Don't worry love; we'll be together soon enough. But now I have to pay my purgatory on Earth," he whispered to himself.

That was all life was to him now. Suffering he most forego as penance for his sins. However, he was going to go out with a bang. A wicked smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as thoughts of his plan for Minako and Kunzite swam in his mind. He would not only do it for himself, but also to avenge his fallen love. But first he had to take care of a nasty little article which could undermine the last gift his mother left him: his talent for the violin.

"I am the key to the lock in your house, that keeps your toys in the basement, and if you get too far inside, you'll only see my reflection," Endymion mouthed the words noiselessly.

An empty vodka bottle lay by his side and a burning cigarette hung from his limp fingertips. He breathed in softly, letting the dark room penetrate him. He closed his eyes. The figures of his mother, Gianna, Usagi, and his dead love danced before him. They were everywhere. In the daylight of the busy streets, in the notes upon his music sheets as well as the between the sheets upon his bed. He felt as though all of his life was just a waking dream. He let out a hoarse laugh that did not come from his stomach but from a hollow place within his chest. A frightful dream. Life is.

Usagi clenched her delicate hand in a tiny fist. With quivering wrist, she banged upon the oak door three times. To her surprise, it was not difficult to gain access to Endymion's front door. She had simply asked the doorman if she would be able to go to Mr. Endymion Shield's apartment. He had given her a jeer and said simply, "Heh usually Mr. Shields prefers darker-haired women," before opening the door before her, allowing her to enter the luxurious building. However, she was brought back from her reverie from the creaking of the front door. Her breath caught in her throat at the sight before her. Endymion stood before half-naked, clad only in a pair of low-fitting black pants; his ebony hair tousled giving him a slightly boyish look. She had to remind herself that it was not two years ago, when one day she banged upon his apartment door looking for company and redemption. However, it was not the same man standing in front of her. His body was still lithe and muscular; however, his stomach showed signs of someone who had lost a large amount of weight in a short amount of time. The skin of his face was pulled taunt upon his cheek bones, and the once stormy eyes were a cool calm. Endymion Shields was still brutally handsome, however there was no fire burning beneath the masculine skin. He was a shell of a man.

"Oh demon why must thee haunt me still," he barked from sensuous lips.

Usagi jumped at his abrupt speaking.

"What nonsense you speak!" she replied with a raised eye-brow, as she slipped past his out-stretched arms into the large expanse which was he apartment.

A quick sweep of the eyes revealed the same cold stoic taste which graced his previous living space.

"Oh demon why must thee haunt me still," he repeated, this time the words slightly slurring together.

Usagi gave him a hard stare. To her disbelief she took in his clearly intoxicated form and the cigarette still resting between his fingers.

"What are you doing?" she asked aghast, grabbing the cigarette and putting it out in an already quite full ashtray.

"You despise smoking!" she chastised.

"I also despise women who lie, cheat, and destroy the soul of men. Oh wait, that is all of those who house breasts and vaginas. See at least men are straight-forward with their intentions, ours is on the outside, while yours is nestled, hidden between your legs. You use sex as a weapon," he said matter-of-factly.

"That is crude and unnecessary," Usagi spat, her hopes slowly deflating.

Endymion gave her a shrug as he sauntered into the kitchen to pour himself another drink.

"You still didn't answer my question," he said softly.

"I have no desire to decipher that drunken babble in which you were uttering earlier," she said disgusted and fully disappointed.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he said firmly.

Usagi blanched.

"Better?" he asked with a smile.

"Quite," she replied curtly.

"I'm here to see you. I missed you," she said softly moving closer to him.

Even with the smell of alcohol and nicotine, she could still distinguish the scent of cinnamon and roses which was him.

"Did you miss me when lay my soul by your feet? Did you miss me as you watched my most prized possession burn?"

"Endymion-"Usagi started, but Endymion cut her off.

"But I'll tell you who did miss me. Monique missed me as she lay bleeding to death in an uncaring, peeling bathtub," he interjected, his voice rising.

"Oh my fucking God. Not her again," she sighed.

"Endymion I came to make peace," she tried again.

A dark shadow passed across his prominent features.

"There is no peace for me," he breathed.

"Oh you were always so melodramatic!" Usagi cried.

"And you were always a selfish whore!"

This time Endymion's voice cut through the room like a knife.

"Are you honestly standing in front of me, and telling me that you have not thought about me at all since you left two years ago?" Usagi begged exasperated.

This was not how she had hoped their first time seeing each other after so long would transpire.

"Oh no. I thought about every time some hopeless girl squealed my name beneath me. I thought about sleepless nights staring at the patterns the moon makes across the ceiling. I thought about you when I played the violin foreign to my fingers as my cherished one exists in ashes. Well, as they say ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I'll join it too," he hissed.

"Stop being so goddamn misanthropic," she commanded.

"All I remember is that you told me that you loved me countless times. I believed it and so did you. Love can conquer anything. You taught me that Endymion, don't you remember?" she demanded, a note of desperation entering her voice.

His cold eyes blue eyes fixed upon her. But Endymion was not there. He was somewhere far away.

"I LOVE YOU ENDYMION!" she sobbed.   
"I love you," she finished quietly.

That was the first time those words poured from her mouth unto his ears.

"Oh my poor deluded Usagi," he gained immense pleasure at the malicious tone of his words, "Do you think those three little words fix everything?"

Usagi looked up at him with watery eyes.

FLASHBACK

"Oh my poor deluded Endymion," she gained immense pleasure at the malicious tone of her words.

All the pain and venom from Ryan that etched her soul, now poured out of her mouth into the fragile spirit of Endymion.

"This isn't some fairy tale or cheesy romantic comedy. This is real life. And do you honestly think that I would give up all this wealth around me, and run off with some violinist that I only really know from bed? How do I know that you won't leave me the second we get in a little argument? Besides, you haven't proved that faithful either," she continued.

"But..but...I love you," Endymion said incredulously, trying his best to fight back the tears.

END FLASHBACK

"Life is not a fairy-tale. Those were just false-hoods that your mother whispered into your ear at night to make each sunrise more bearable," he said cruelly.

"Are you saying that your love meant nothing then?" she asked, pushing the blade deeper.

"You looked real. And you tasted real. But it was just fake plastic love. Fake, plastic, love like that condom that separated us. We were never really part of each other," he replied, absent-mindedly staring at the night sky through the large windows leading to the veranda.

"How can you say these hurtful things? You spoke of your undying love for me? You wrote me a song!" Usagi screamed.

A strange smile which seemed to frequent Endymion's face so often as of late appeared across his pouty lips.

"You're right. I wrote you song," he said as he walked briskly to a backroom.

He handed her a crumpled piece of paper; however, this time it was not tear-stained.

Usagi opened the paper with trembling fingers and unwilling eyes.

_The phone slips from a loose grip.   
Words were missed then some apology like I didn't want to say. Thank you and hang up the phone. Let the funeral start. Hear the casket close. Let's pin split-black ribbon onto your overcoat. Still laughter pours from under doors in this house. I don't understand that sound no more. It seems artificial like a T.V. set. Haligh, Haligh, Haligh, Haligh this weight it must be satisfied. You offer only one reply. You know not what you do. But you tear and tear your hair from roots. From that same head you have twice removed a lock of hair you said would prove our love would never die. Well ha ha ha. But I remember everything the words we spoke on freezing South street. So now we speak with ruined tongues And the words we say aren't' meant for anyone. It's just a mumbled sentence to a passing acquaintance, But there was once you said you hated my Suffering and you understood and you'd take care of me. You would always be there, well where are you now? Haligh, Haligh, Haligh, Haligh, the plans were never finalized But left to hang like yarn and twice dangling before my eyes. As you tear and tear your hair from roots, From that same head that you have twice removed a lock of hair You said would prove that our love would never die. As I sing and sing of awful things, the pleasure that my sadness brings As my fingers press onto the strings you get another clumsy chord. Haligh, Haligh, an awful lie. This weight will now be satisfied. I will give you only one reply, I know not who I am but I talk in the mirror To the stranger that appears. Our conversations are circles and always one sided, Nothing is clear.   
Except we keep coming back to this meaning that I lack. He says the choices were given and Now I must live them or just not live, But do you want that?   
_

"Endymion do not turn your back upon the world," Usagi breathed.

"I am dead to this world," he whispered.

"Since when did you become this nihilist?" she shouted, her patience gone.

"I love you! Isn't that enough?" she shouted, pounding her tiny fists against his chest.

"You are and always were a selfish little girl. You think that your holy-than-thou love can fix everything. Well guess what, your love does not paint my sky blue," he cried, his patience also long gone.

"You used to say that was all that mattered," she reminded softly.

"Well I grew up," he bit back.

"You are acting more like a child than two years ago," she mumbled.

"What do you want me to do?!" he bellowed.

"Is this what you want?" he said furiously, as he gathered her up into his arms and pushed her forcefully into the wall.

She groaned as she felt his demanding tongue slinked in her mouth, and his hands brutally ripped at her panties. He tasted of alcohol and cigarettes. She moaned despite herself as she felt two of his long fingers slip inside her warmth. She heard the hurried sounds of a zipper being undone.

"Is this what you want of me?" he sobbed as he pushed harder against her soft form and hiked her flower skirt above her waist.

"Stop, stop, stop!" she pleaded as she felt his large member attempting to enter her sensitive womanhood.

"I thought this is what you wanted? If not why did you come here? Isn't this what you wanted!" he screamed.

But Usagi heard the effort present in his voice to prevent the tears from streaming down his cheeks. He once again brutally shoved his tongue down her throat, before grabbing her roughly by the wrists and throwing her upon the floor. She laid there, her body convulsing with sobs.

"Why did you come here?" he demanded quietly.

She looked at him with wounded eyes and tear-stained cheeks. He stood stoic above her, his face carved from stone.

"I don't know anymore," she replied softly.

He looked at her upon the floor, and a rare kind expression of crossed his features.

"I'm sorry Usagi. I tried to believe in love, but it is just a fantasy to make individuals feel less alone. I, however, am resigned to my fate," he spoke softly.

He gently picked her off the floor.

"This is the moment that you know. That you told her that you loved her but you don't. You touch her skin, and you think that she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me. I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking as we moved together in the dark. Every bite I gave you left a mark. Tiny vessels oozed into your neck, and formed the bruises that you said you didn't want to fade, but they did and so did I that day. All I see are dark grey clouds, in the distance moving closer with every hour. So one last touch, and then we'll go. And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more. But it was vile, and it was cheap. And you are beautiful. But you don't mean a thing to me," he whispered, pulling her close to him.

She could hear the steady beating of his heart.

He titled her mouth upwards and gave her bruised lips and soft kiss.

"Good-bye Usagi."

Once again, all apologizes. I am extremely busy with applying to colleges and other senior activities. So please no flames for the delay or the length of this chapter. The chapters are not going to be as long as they used to be. I am trying to cut down on the wait time between chapters. Once again I am going to try to promise that will be no more than a two-month wait for a chapter. Thank you so much for all you guys support. This story would not be here without you. And don't worry; this story is FAR FROM OVER. Please review.

PinkMoonBeam


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